AITA for lying saying I never had a lipoma then bringing up the asker’s affair partner?

Personal medical history often feels deeply private, yet nosy people treat it like casual conversation. One man spent years self-conscious about a visible lump, only to face unwanted questions even after removal.

Privacy boundaries clash with social curiosity, especially from known gossips. Hypothetical scenarios help rehearse firm responses. This tale explores embarrassment, retaliation fantasies, and the right to shut down intrusive comments. Respect for others’ bodies starts with minding one’s own business.

‘AITA for lying saying I never had a lipoma then bringing up the asker’s affair partner?’

The long-standing issue with the lipoma shapes daily experiences and interactions.

I(36m) had a Lipoma on my head for about 15 years. I always wished it wasn't there. It didn't hurt, but it caused problems. For example I was on a...

I don't think anything caused it to be there, it just grew. He wouldn't fucking shut up about it, in the end I told him I was swimming and hit...

I was jusrt relieved that he'd finally shut up about it. He wouldn't accept the truth that it was just there so I told him that to get him to...

Just like a lazy eye, you wouldn't go up to somebody, 'Hey, what happened to your eye?' Would you? It kept growing over the years, It had been pretty well...

My sister noticed it shortly before it was removed, saying she always knew it was there but it was never that visible until now. My parents are split up, I...

When I was 35, one day my mother came into my office while I was playing GW2 and said that for my 36th birthday she was wanting to pay to...

I agreed to this. Had it removed, the Doctor did a good job, cut it out, stitched it up, and now the scarring is pretty much gone.

A potential confrontation inspires a planned comeback involving rumors.

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So recently my father's friend was visiting with her daughter, Her daughter, (22NB) has discovered a lump on their head.

They were talking about it when I came in and their mother said, 'Don't worry, Spare_Dimension_2768 has a lump on his head don't you.' Now, for some context the woman...

And also there are rumours about her cheating on her husband. There was a guy who was helping her with a project, we'll call him Garry, and another guy who...

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Also, I'd never brought it up to her, there are 6 people who I've talked about it with, the guy on the fishing trip although I didn't want to then,...

So I replied, 'No I don't.' They said they'd seen it so I leaned my head forward to let them check, and lo and behold, there was no Lipoma. 'You...

Are you thinking of someone else?' They continued to insist it was me. I told them, 'Look, let's imagine if hypothetically somebody, not me because you have checked my head...

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I imagine that this hypothetical person might be sensitive about this lump. They'd hope people wouldn't notice it, and if they did, I imagine they'd wish that people would pretend...

Now imagine some idiot kept probing them about it, they might not like that. Let's imagine that the idiot was standing in a glass house, I imagine that this hypothetical...

She told me she'd seen a lump on my head. She'd had herr warning to stop throwing stones from her glass house so I asked. 'How was Nail in bed?'...

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She continued to deny so I told her, 'Well, like most of [Town's Name] I have heard the rumours. If you ever want to talk about an imaginary lump on...

My father told me I'd been rude to his guests, I said that the Lipoma had effected my self esteem for years and now I just want to go on...

UPDATE As some have guessed, this didn't actually happen. Well it's part real, part fake. More trying to think what I would do in this situation. So facts. The lipoma...

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Gary and Nail, real. The rumours of Gary and Nail... Well I don't know. The rumours are there, are they true? I wouldn't put it past her. Two totally unrelated...

Why would one even. She has four kids, 22NB was the youngest. None have lipomas that I've heard of.

I don't know if she's seen mine, I am pretty sure if one of them got a lipoma she'd talk to my dad, my dad would mention I had one...

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This serial cheat offers amateur couples counselling for $100 per hour. So I've decided. If any of them ever get a lipoma and she wants to enlist me to talk...

I will say, 'I don't have a lump on my head and if you wish to discuss my medical history with me it will cost you $120 per hour. Based...

Hey, a serial cheat councelling couples vs somebody who has really had a lipoma telling somebody about it. I'd say that's fair.

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I won't bring up Gary and Nail as the reason that my rate of $120PH would be a bargain, I'll simply repeat the sentence, 'I don't have a lump on...

Based on your counceling rates I think that's a bargain.' I hated having that lump, I don't want to talk to others about it, Hey, I've decided, I won't gaslight...

I personally think there is good gaslighting and bad gaslighting, well let's not say good, but acceptable gaslighting. Bad gaslighting example: I've worked in an arcade, somebody was deserate to...

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Anyway the next day they said, 'You told us you'd sell us that toy for 1000 tickets.' 1: That's not allowed. 2: 1000 tickets is a pitiful ammount for a...

So yeah, they were trying to gaslight me to do something that would get me in trouble. Another form of bad gaslighting, Unlocking the door then telling a colleague, 'You...

Gaslighting to try to make somebody question their own competence or get them in trouble. I'd say acceptable gaslighting is more something that is your own business.

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The lump was none of anyone else's business. Hey, i remember in school, at one point a girl had a spot on her nose. One day she came in and...

She acted like she had no idea what he was talking about. Hey, it wasn't his business to know, she was probably just glad it was gone, hey she wasn't...

Anyway, it's nobody else's business. She wants to act like she never had it I say good for her. I'll read if anyone can explain why that isn't acceptable gaslighting,

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So anyway, that is how I think I should handle it if I'm ever asked, Say I don't have a lump on my head, that's true, I don't have a...

But say that if they wish to discuss my medical history they'll need to pay $120ph up front. (If a serial cheat thinks her couples counselling is worth $100ph, then...

But I'll leave that part out, well maybe if they really push me to talk without wanting to pay.) So yeah. Based on what's been said, I think that is...

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The scenario revolves around protecting privacy after resolving a long-term physical concern. A known gossip ignores social cues about sensitivity. The response tests boundaries with denial and counter-threats. Hypothetical planning reveals lingering emotional impact.

Intrusive questions stem from lack of empathy for visible differences. Defensiveness arises from years of unwanted attention. Escalation risks mutual harm. Clear, non-aggressive shutdowns preserve dignity without retaliation.

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Psychologist Dr. Brené Brown has emphasized that “Clear is kind—setting boundaries communicates respect for yourself and others.” (From Dare to Lead, 2018). This applies here: direct statements like “I prefer not to discuss my health” prevent misunderstanding. Humor or fees add wit but may inflame.

Effective strategies include polite redirection or firm refusal. Practice responses reduce anxiety. Therapy processes residual shame. Focus on present confidence reinforces healing. Mutual respect starts with modeling desired behavior.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Social media users offered mixed judgments, weighing privacy rights against escalation tactics in this hypothetical confrontation.

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Several supported defending personal boundaries while questioning aggressive comebacks.

EthicsNerd42 - ESH. She shouldn’t be gossiping about your medical history, but dragging in alleged affairs was nuclear-level escalation for a hypothetical situation.

MindYourScalp - NTA for wanting privacy about your body. A medical condition—past or present—is nobody’s business, especially when the person asking is a known gossip.

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GaslightIsntCute - YTA for redefining gaslighting to make yourself feel better. Lying to shut down nosy people is one thing; pretending someone is delusional is another.

BoundaryBuilder - NTA. Saying “I don’t have one now” and refusing to discuss it further is a perfectly reasonable boundary. The $120/hour line is petty, but funny.

TooFarTooFast - ESH. She crossed a line first, but threatening to expose rumors—true or not—puts you in the same mud pit.

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MedicalPrivacyMatters - NTA. People feel entitled to comment on visible differences way too casually. You’re allowed to shut that down however you see fit, short of harming others.

Others focused on emotional roots or healthier alternatives.

RedditRealist - YTA (light). You clearly still carry resentment and embarrassment about the lipoma, and it shows. Therapy would be cheaper than imaginary revenge scenarios.

GlassHousesClub - ESH. Gossip vs counter-gossip isn’t moral high ground; it’s just mutually assured destruction.

SocialScripts101 - NTA. The correct social response to “remember that lump?” is silence, not interrogation. She failed basic manners first.

HypotheticalHero - NAH (for the update). Since this didn’t actually happen, what you really did was work through a boundary-setting fantasy. The healthier version is: “I’m not discussing my medical...

This imagined standoff highlights ongoing struggles with body image and privacy long after physical resolution. Nosy comments reopen old insecurities. Creative fantasies rehearse empowerment. Simple, direct boundaries often suffice without counterattacks.

Self-acceptance grows through time and distance. Others’ opinions matter less than personal comfort. Would you confront a gossip directly or ignore them? How firmly should people protect past medical details?

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