AITAH for not getting my dad’s girlfriend’s kids anything for Christmas?

A 17-year-old guy arrived at his dad’s house for a court-ordered Christmas visit and got hit with surprise when his dad and the girlfriend freaked out because he didn’t bring presents for her three little kids—ages 4, 5, and 7. He flat-out refused to go shopping for them, even when they pushed hard. With a tough family history behind him, he’s counting down to freedom at 18.

This whole situation pulls at the heartstrings because it’s not just about gifts—it’s about forced time with a parent he doesn’t want to be around, plus sudden expectations from strangers’ kids. People online jumped in with strong opinions, mostly backing the teen and calling out how unfair the demand feels. The drama escalated fast, and it’s easy to see why everyone has something to say.

AITAH for not getting my dad's girlfriend's kids anything for Christmas?

The trouble kicked off right when the teen showed up at his dad’s place for the holiday stay.

I'm (17m) spending Christmas with my dad this year (December 23 to December 27). I don't live with him though. I live with my grandparents (his parents).

They've been my guardian's since mom died when I was 8. Dad lost custody of me before that because he has an alcohol problem and he abused my mom when...

She left him when I was 4. I had supervised visitation with him until I was 10 and then he started getting certain extended overnights.

Christmas was one of them, then I had to stay for 6 days in the summer every year and I had to do one overnight within a week of my...

Feeling trapped by the court system, he explained how much he hates these visits.

I don't like the visitation schedule and my grandparents and I have tried to end it for three years now. But the judge and CPS see it as my best...

Last year I refused to go to his house for Christmas and there was hell to pay. He took my grandparents to court, they had to pay a fine for...

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and the court/cps said since dad's sober he would be considered a viable custodial option if there was any more refusal to follow the court order.

I thought that was crazy because I was 16 but legally and biologically he's still my parent even if he doesn't have custody.

He made it clear he’s just biding his time until it’s over.

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So I follow the court order and go when I have to go. This is the last year and I can't f__king wait to be done with him forever.

Then came the big confrontation over the gifts.

Now here's the reason I'm posting. My dad has a girlfriend. She lives with him, I think. Or she's staying here with her kids for Christmas. The kids aren't his...

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When I got to his house yesterday he asked me where the gifts for the kids were and I told him I didn't bring any. Dad and his girlfriend were...

They were freaking out and dad told me to go out and buy stuff for them but I refused. He told me he would make me go today but I'm...

I'm not spending money on these kids. My dad's girlfriend told me I knew they'd be here and I should have gotten them something because they're so little (4, 5...

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He wrapped up with his firm stance amid the chaos.

I know when they wake up they'll be going crazy. I'm determined not to spend anything on them. Does that make me TAH?

This teen’s in a really tough spot—forced into a family setup that doesn’t feel like family at all. On one side, the dad and girlfriend seem to expect him to play happy blended family, dropping cash on kids he barely knows. On the other, he’s protecting his own space and money after years of hard stuff. It’s tricky because little kids are involved, and nobody wants them disappointed on Christmas morning, but pushing that onto a reluctant 17-year-old feels off.

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Relationship experts often talk about how blended families need time and real effort from everyone. Dr. John Gottman, from The Gottman Institute, has said, “Successful relationships are built on friendship, managing conflict well, and creating shared meaning.” Here, there’s no real friendship base yet, so jumping to gift-giving expectations skips a lot of steps.

A better way might be for the adults to handle the gifts themselves—maybe put the teen’s name on something if they insist, or just focus on low-pressure fun. The teen could suggest activities that don’t cost money, like playing games, to ease tension without spending. Clear chats upfront about holidays in mixed families can prevent these blowups. Compromise works best when nobody feels forced.

If the dad wants unity, starting small with respect for the teen’s feelings would help way more than demands. Empathy goes both ways—understanding the past hurt while building something new slowly.

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Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many users rushed to back the teen fully, pointing out how unreasonable the adults were acting.

hidingunderyourbed- − No??? They’re not your kids lmfao

Inside-Property-4579 − I am so sick and tired of the courts telling kids the don’t know their own mind! I am so sorry you have to suffer one more holiday...

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chubbywhiteboy420 − NTA you barely even know these kids existed and he expected you to bring gifts for them ? ? Wow he’s pathetic

KLG999 − NTA. You are still a kid yourself (if you weren’t you wouldn’t have to be there). If your dad wants “you” to give his girlfriend’s kids a present,

then he should give you the money to pick something out. One kid isn’t responsible for buying 3 other kids presents he doesn’t know.

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RevolutionaryDiet686 − NTA Those are adult responsibilities that these kids mother can handle.

Some chimed in with more balanced takes, suggesting ways to handle it without full refusal.

grayblue_grrl − Your dad can buy them presents and put your name on them if he wants that so bad. You have very little information about what the kids like...

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You certainly don't have to spend your money. Although - "give me the money dad and I'll go shopping. " You could be gone for 4 oe 5 hours. So,...

lonly25 − Tell you dad to give you money. Your a minor and forced to be there. Then take the money to dollar store. By them each a gift. This...

AdNational7012 − NTA am sorry that you even have to endure this. This is not your responsibility to get gifts for kids that you don’t even know.

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You should tell your dad and his girlfriend are the only reason why you’re even there is because it’s court ordered. You should call your grandparents and tell them what’s...

Ok-Literature-3026 − NTA - it’s their mothers responsibility to be sure they have gifts. Also, sure it’s nice to give gifts but usually you only give gifts to people you...

It makes picking out the gift a bit easier when you actually know the person the gift is for. Sure kids are easier to buy for but they aren’t your...

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I’d just tell dad you don’t have money for gifts for kids you aren’t even related to. Why does he even think you,a child yourself, can afford gifts for someone...

Others added funny or cheeky ideas to lighten the mood or get a little payback.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your “ dad” is a delusional a__hole

LissaBryan − Them: "Go buy the children presents! " You: "Okay. " You: \*leaves and is gone all day\* You: \*comes home\* Them: "WHERE ARE THE PRESENTS? "

You: "I shopped all day for them and when I got up to the register, I realized I didn't have any money. Sowwy. " Hey, at least it gets you...

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Competitive_Ninja668 − NTA. I wouldn’t spend one penny on them. I’m sorry your dad sucks. In your shoes, I’d probably fake Illness and stay in bed.

Warm-Day8313 − Hi I know you do want to not spend money but I’m a bit on the malicious compliance side . Dollar store silly string , noisy recorders, whistles,

glitter (anything glitter) anything loud noisy or destructively messy They wanted you to get presents they get “presents” you get to watch the distruction in real time.

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FlounderKind8267 − Perfect chance to ditch your dad if you want to. "Since you care more about your new family, I'll just go"

ApartLocksmith1 − Cancel your card or block it so it can't be used! If you can freeze your bank account do so in order to avoid being "forced" to buy...

In the end, this story shows how complicated holidays can get when families don’t quite blend smoothly. The teen’s standing his ground on something small but meaningful to him, while the adults are scrambling to keep things merry. Everyone sees it a bit differently, but it all comes down to respect and realistic expectations. What would you do if you were in his shoes—hold firm, compromise a little, or find a clever way out?

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