AITA for wanting to tell my sister I don’t want to get baptized with her and my brother?

A 16-year-old girl has never felt strongly about religion, attending church events mostly for the social side as a kid and rarely going now unless it’s a holiday. She’s not an atheist—just someone who needs proof and leans toward scientific explanations—but faith simply isn’t a big part of her life. During Thanksgiving, her much older sister (23) tearfully announced she wanted to get baptized again and suggested the teen and their brother (26) join her for a family moment.

The whole family gushed over the idea, but the teen felt pressured and upset, retreating to her room for a private meltdown. She later confided in her mom, who understood, but her grandma criticized her stance. No one’s pushed it since, though her mom nudges about church more. The teen wants to tell her sister no without crushing her feelings, knowing faking it would feel wrong. It’s a delicate mix of family expectations, personal beliefs, and sibling dynamics.

AITA for wanting to tell my sister I don't want to get baptized with her and my brother?

The teen’s casual relationship with religion goes way back.

I (F)16, have never really been a religous person, even when i was little i went to church camps and bible schools

but i really only went to play with other kids not much of the actual point of it, which is to learn about god. Even now I don't go to...

The emotional announcement caught her off guard during family time.

but heres when things worried me. This Thanksgiving I was cooking while my family was talking in the living room, my sister called me over to "talk" about somthing,

so she directed me to sit next to her, i did and she sarted tearing up. " side note im not really great with emotions and i get weird when...

She says that she was thinking about getting baptized again which i thought " well ok thats fine" then she starts balling her eyes out even more

and thats when she says since i was never baptized I should do it with her and my brother should too. Mind you my sister is 8 years older shes...

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" side note : im kinda tomboyish and shes as girly as you can be so we never got along, me and my brother are closer."

when she said that my whole family were cooing at her like she was so brave for that but in my head i was furious/ sad so i just nodded...

Her private reaction was intense, but she confided in family later.

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When i got to my room i let it all out full on meltdown crying, After a little i freshed up and went back to the party. My mom was...

and she noticed I was upset i explained to her that i don't want to be baptized because i just don't care about that, she said since im young thats...

and i agreed then my grandma came over and i said the same thing she did not take it as well so i walked away as soon as the convosation...

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i overheard her talking to my mom that thats not ok that im like that, also side note im not saying im a atheist i just am a proof person...

She’s wrestling with how to handle it moving forward.

but nobody has brought it up since, but my mom keeps saying i need to got to church more often but i don't so AITA? should i tell my sister,...

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Faith journeys are deeply personal—no one should pressure another into religious milestones, especially symbolic ones like baptism. Forcing or guilting someone undermines the act’s meaning, turning sincerity into performance.

Many highlight how true belief can’t be manufactured; pretending dishonors everyone involved. The sister’s tears might stem from genuine care, but emotional displays shouldn’t override individual choice. At 16, standing firm respectfully shows maturity.

Family reactions vary—mom’s acceptance is supportive, grandma’s judgment common in intergenerational gaps. Open, kind communication prevents resentment: framing it as “I’m happy for you, but this isn’t my path yet” honors her while asserting boundaries. Ultimately, spirituality evolves naturally. Pressuring teens often backfires; freedom fosters authentic exploration later if desired.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Everyone agreed the teen is not the asshole, praising her self-awareness and urging honest conversation.

kacee1234 − NTA. Religion is like a penis; it’s ok to have one, it’s not ok to push it on others.

Selena_beauregard − NTA Religion and any religion shift needs to come from you. It’s your personal choice and God would want you to wait until you are ready (if you...

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AlternativeMinute289 − NTA. Faith is a deeply personal thing. Being baptized when you don't truly want it would be disrespectful to both yourself and to those who have that faith....

Or, alternatively: it's just a weird little bath ceremony, it doesn't mean anything you don't make it mean inside of yourself, if it'll shut your family up maybe that's more...

You have to pick your battles sometimes. Both of these perspectives are equally true. Really depends on how you feel about it.

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MWSGrl11 − NTA. Baby, don't let anyone push their religious views on you. I commend you for even telling your Mother and Grandmother that you don't want that.

If your sister brings it up again, just tell her you don't want to. "No" is a complete sentence and no further explanation is needed if you don't want to...

I believe in God, but I stopped going to church over 10 years ago. I do go for weddings and funerals. Everyone's spiritual journey is different,

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yours won't look the same as hers, your brothers, or your Mother's. I wish you well. Update us if you feel the need.

Adelucas − I'll give you props for knowing your own mind and speaking up at 16. A lot of people older than you find it hard to say no to...

Freedom of religion is also freedom from religion. Either you believe, in which case how you worship is up to you, or you don't believe and it's pointless.

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Never participate in something just because someone else decides for you. Your sister can do what she likes, but so can you.

Stay true to yourself and don't let anyone else pressure you. I'm an atheist. My grandmother was deeply religious. I adored the bones of her and she loved me just...

She joined a church when she was in her 60s that gave her a lot of joy. She had a full body baptism which I attended.

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It was a lovely service and my grandmother was positively glowing. I was happy for her, but it didn't make me want to jump in and be baptised.

Her religion was hers and she never brought it up or pressured us into more than attending the odd fundraising event. When she died we held her funeral at her...

She was deeply loved by everyone there and I will always be grateful to them for making an elderly woman feel so loved. But it was her community not mine.

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Some offered practical scripts or deeper insights.

AlpineLad1965 − You need to tell your sister soon so that she doesn't set a group baptism up. You also need to tell her that you don't appreciate her making...

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Getting baptized is a personal decision, not one that she should try to guilt you into. If she is as religious as you claim, then she should respect your decision...

MomMomsCookies − Obviously, evolution is a real, scientifically verifiable fact, and the creation story (which has different, conflicting versions presented in the Bible) is false.

You’re clever for understanding that in spite of what religious people have taught you. That said, people can certainly believe in a non-literal interpretation of the Bible.

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The gist of the Bible is the golden rule: treat others the way you would like to be treated. Your sister is not doing that. The tears and drama are...

Tell your sister that you don’t believe others should be pressured to stray from their own path. If you ever are baptized it will be because you were moved in...

not so she can appear to be the savior of your soul. She doesn’t get to use you as a prop for her Christ complex.

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mtngrl60 − Sometimes people are baptized again as adult adults because they feel that when they were younger, if they agreed to be baptized, they really didn’t have the depth...

Other times, children are baptized in certain religions because that’s part of the faith. And some religions, even believe that children who aren’t baptized don’t go to heaven.

Because you have to be baptized in the eyes of God for God to recognize you. Now… I did use this argument against my MIL who happened to be Catholic....

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I believe there’s something more there. But if we were going to truly believe the Bible and agree that all children are a blessing from God, and that God is...

how in the world could any father forget his own child? I told her, so you’re telling me these babies I have are a gift from God.

And yet, if I don’t baptize them, he’s gonna forget he gave them to me? That one doesn’t make sense to me. So no, when my children are older,

if they decide to pursue any kind of religious aspect in their life, it is for them to decide. Not me. I’m guessing, OP that your sister falls into one...

But here’s the thing… Baptism really is, especially as an adult… I give more leeway to kids because if that’s what you’re racing in, that’s all you know,

and you may change your mind later as an adult. And that’s OK. … But it has an adult, if you’re choosing to be baptized into a church. Into a...

You are making an entirely informed decision based on your life experience. It’s not a two for one deal. It’s not a BOGO sort of thing.

You don’t get baptized just because your family member is. Or a friend is. Or your grandmother wants you to. Because it means nothing. And as religious people accommodation should...

They should understand that trying to push somebody to become baptized simply because… I really want you to do this with me… That is not at all a viable reason...

So I have to be honest and say that it’s a little weird to me that they think because your sister’s doing it, you should.

People who are truly Christians or immersed in a certain religion understand that that religious bond with the day that he involved is a very personal and individual thing. I...

Your mom sounds like she has your back. It sounds like she fully understands that you’re not sure yet. And she fully understands that if you’re not sure, you should...

You simply shouldn’t. So of course, NTA. Your spirituality is something that you need to come into naturally. And that may actually be that you end up diagnostic or atheist.

Or any number of other things. And we’re all here to tell you that’s OK. Don’t let your grandmother or your sister guilt you into doing something that is absolutely...

And if your church leadership is any kind of a true church leadership, and you have a conversation saying that you’re only getting baptized because your sister wants you to,...

hat’s because being baptized means accepting the churches teachings. Means accepting the churches doctrines. And it is a symbolic ritual showing that you do so. And if you’re not sure,...

A few kept it light or shared relatable defiance.

Relatents − She says that she was thinking about getting baptized again Why? Is she afraid that the first time didn’t work? She needs to work on her faith and...

FederalAdvice3219 − Do it and put black bath bombs in your pockets

Preference_Afraid − NTA. My greatest teen achievement was getting kicked out of the Catholic Church before my parents could force me through confirmation like they forced me through every other...

remember me telling them forcing me would be making a mockery of their religion and pricing further to me it's a cult. Speak up now. At least your parents are...

butterflya82 − NTA. Religion shouldn’t be forced on someone and that’s what your sister is doing. Explain again to ur sister it’s not what u want done and to stop...

Which_Comfortable_32 − Religion is a personal thing that you don’t push and pressure people on. Forcing people to get baptised and attending church is not what being a Christian is,...

Dramatic_Paramedic79 − Conversion comes from the inside. Coercion comes from the outside. Your sister and granny are committing coercion. NTA

Moralee_Corrupt − NTA. Point out how disrespectful to the religion it would be if you are only going through the motions without any belief.

Unanimously, people said the teen is not the asshole—faith can’t be forced, and faking a sacred act helps no one. Kindly telling her sister “I’m happy for you, but this isn’t right for me yet” honors both. Personal beliefs evolve on their own timeline; pressure often pushes people away. Would you speak up directly to avoid future assumptions, or wait and see if it comes up again?

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