AITA for telling my friend it’s not my fault that I’m skinny?

A 26-year-old woman has shared a decades-long friendship with her best friend, both navigating life side by side since toddlerhood. The poster maintains a slender build she feels good about, while her friend has always struggled with weight despite efforts like joint gym sessions. During a casual dinner with the poster’s new boyfriend present, the friend repeatedly made digs like “of course you can because you’re skinny” or “that’s never a thin person problem.”

What makes the story more complicated is the friend’s recent devastating date experience, where a guy rudely commented on her being “bigger than photos suggested,” amplifying her insecurities. Fed up after years of similar remarks, the poster finally retorted, “it’s not my fault I’m skinny,” leading to awkwardness, radio silence, and self-doubt about her reaction.

‘AITA for telling my friend it’s not my fault that I’m skinny?’

The two women have been inseparable since childhood, sharing joys and struggles.

I (26F) have had my best friend (26F) since we were toddlers. Grown up together, been through all of it together. Context I guess is that I'm quite slender.

I take pride in my weight, my health, and I know she does too but she's always struggled with her weight. We used to gym together but it never really...

A fun dinner turns uncomfortable with repeated weight-related comments in front of the boyfriend.

The other night, I had my boyfriend and her over for dinner. It was an awesome night, but she kept making comments (and she does all the time, has continually...

of course you can because you're skinny and "well yeah, that's never a thin person problem". I got really awkward and this was only her second time meeting my boyfriend...

Frustration boils over into a sharp response, followed by fallout and reflection.

I'd had enough and snapped, saying "look, it's not my fault I'm skinny, okay!" The rest of this evening was as you can imagine, pretty awkward. And she's now not...

Reasons why I think I'm the a__hole are because she went out on a date with a guy recently after talking to him for weeks, she was so excited but...

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he literally said "huh, you're a lot bigger than your photos suggested". I knew how upset she was and it made me so mad to think a guy could ever...

EDIT; UPDATE; sorry, I very much realise that saying I'm proud of my weight has been an issue with this, and I do understand why it was poor wording!

I really just meant that I (for my own health) enjoy being in the body that I currently am, as it works best for me. I do not think that...

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EDIT; last one, apologies! Just because wording seems to be a real issue here that I wasn't aware of. Comments that night and over the years have always been directed...

Although, yes, I will never understand the struggles of someone overweight, I've been called anorexic, mocked for tiny breasts, questioned if I ever eat. And a whoooooole slew of other...

My friend and I both could've handled this one situation better, and yep, I suck for defending myself against those comments publicly. I know this wholeheartedly and am doing the...

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Thank you for all the insights and I will be doing my best moving forward, but I won't apologise for liking how I look and loving myself. And health and...

EDIT; I know I said last one was last one, but my friend and I have spoken. We laid it all out and knowing and learning from one another, we...

This friendship tension arises from longstanding body image differences, where the friend’s repeated passive-aggressive remarks reflect personal insecurity rather than malice toward the poster. Years of comments minimizing the poster’s experiences due to her size constitute a form of body shaming that thin people also face, though societal focus often highlights the reverse.

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Some perspectives label it NAH, viewing the snap as understandable escalation after tolerance, while acknowledging the friend’s pain from weight stigma and a cruel date rejection. However, displacing frustration onto a close friend—especially in front of a new partner—shifts responsibility unfairly. The poster’s factual retort was mild, not attacking her friend’s weight.

Socially, body commentary cuts both ways: thin individuals endure assumptions of privilege or illness, while plus-size face overt discrimination. True friendship requires mutual respect for boundaries, not using one person’s struggles to invalidate another’s. The positive update shows mature communication can heal such rifts when both sides listen.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Many users defended the poster, pointing to the friend’s insecurity-driven comments as unfair body shaming.

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stephjade − NTA, she’s taking out her insecurities on you

arseholierthanthou − NTA. It is not your fault you're skinny. That's hardly an aggressive, insulting statement to make,

so for a 'snapped' reaction it's remarkably benevolent. Someone being an arsehole to you does nothing to excuse you being an arsehole to a third party,

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and you were the third party in the situation with the guy she went on a date with. We can sympathise with her, but that doesn't for a second mean...

wittyidiot − NTA. Body image fucks people up. Or maybe minimally an a__hole just because you should have been gentler. But your friend was working through what may be jealousy...

Vamflyer − I'm stick-thin myself. ... I've been putting up with something similar with my husband's family forever. It DOES get old.

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Chemical-Video-5900 − NTA body shaming goes both ways I am tired of being told to eat a burger, would never suggest they don't Nobody should ever comment on someone else's...

SirSpiritual8752 − NTA. Well, it's \*not\* your fault if you're skinny, and it's also *not your fault that she's not skinny. * If she has a habit of comparing herself...

Losing weight, for some people, can be incredibly difficult because of their metabolism or if they have any thyroid or other health issues, and that can be very stressful,

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but it's not fair for her to put that on you, or to seem bitter because you're not struggling with the same issue as she is. I grew up around...

and I get the whole 'jeeze eat a cheeseburger' or 'well, you don't have to worry about eating that donut' thing, which is stupid and hilarious because I can't help...

Skinny does not equal healthy or happy. Size and health are not the same thing. Numbers are b__lshit. She can be overweight but still active and healthy and beautiful.

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Maybe being skinny would actually be *unhealthy* for her particular body; skinny does not equal healthy or beautiful in every body.

If you've been dealing with these comments for *years*, which are *uncalled for,* *inappropriate*, and *unsolicited,* then snapping was understandable (but you should apologize for being harsh or abrupt).

I would explain to her that you don't appreciate her constant comment on your weight any more than she would appreciate the same treatment, and if she wants to continue...

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Also: the jerkface's comments about her size are *also* not your fault and not your doing. The sentence you snapped had nothing to do with his behavior; only hers. NTA.

Others shared empathy for thin struggles or urged understanding without excusing the behavior.

[Reddit User] − Your friend seems to be struggling at the moment. Give her some space, and if she never comes back from that space, then let it go.

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But you're not wrong for standing up to yourself against her passive aggressiveness, not at all. You're not responsible for whatever struggles she's having.

"huh, you're a lot bigger than your photos suggested" - I'm guessing she met this guy online. Personally, I prefer to be upfront about me and my appearance online to...

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It's best to be ghosted by a person you've never met than going through something like this. It's not just sad, but you're also wasting your time with someone who...

trashhagcute − NAH. I imagine it is really hard to be young and bigger, and watch your skinny friends get all the attention. You let her comments go for awhile...

​ I take pride in my weight, my health I would comment that its a bit dumb to take pride in how little gravity it takes to hold you to...

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I would also mention that you will experience a lot of privilege in your life for being skinny, and she will experience a lot of discrimination, assumption, and harassment for...

You seem very empathetic and emotionally mature, so I'm sure you will be able to remain a supportive friend to her through this. Best of luck.

A couple offered softer takes, recognizing mutual hurt or personal anecdotes.

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Training-Cup5231 − NTA, you can’t control that you have a fast metabolism she is insecure with herself taking it out on you.

your “friend” isn’t really being a good friend by saying these skinny comments to you. imagine if you made “fat” comments to her

[Reddit User] − Nta I had a friend that was thin and ate all the junk food she could. I was jealous that she could eat anything and not gain...

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but I never let it out on her. It is difficult seeing others eat what they wanted without having to worry about it, but we have to accept the metabolism...

The dinner snap highlighted accumulated resentment from years of weight-focused comments, with the poster defending her body while empathizing with her friend’s pain. Community largely ruled NTA, validating thin-shaming as real, though the friends’ open talk resolved it amicably.

Have constant “skinny privilege” remarks ever worn you down in a friendship, or have you unintentionally projected weight struggles onto others? When does standing up for your body cross from necessary to harsh—what’s worked in your close relationships?

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