AITA for not wanting to hear out my dad (45M) and his relationship with my old friend (25F) for the second time?

A woman in her mid-20s found herself in an incredibly tough spot when she learned her dad was involved with someone way too close to home—her old friend, who’s the exact same age as her. The betrayal hit hard, layered with secrets and lies that made everything feel even more raw. She tried talking it out, sharing how uncomfortable it all made her, but things kept dragging on, leaving her questioning if she could keep her dad in her life the same way.

This kind of family drama pulls at universal heartstrings—balancing loyalty to parents with protecting your own peace. Plenty of folks online weighed in, sparking debates about respect, happiness, and where to draw the line. Some twists, like ongoing deception, really amp up the emotional stakes and get people talking.

AITA for not wanting to hear out my dad (45M) and his relationship with my old friend (25F) for the second time?

The backstory kicked off innocently enough, with the friend needing extra money and taking on cleaning gigs.

For some context, my parents have been divorced for about 10 years. My old friend and I (25F) are the same age, we lived together since we were 19. I...

While we lived together, she needed some extra cash, and she cleaned houses on the side, my dad hired her for her services. As far as I know, that was...

Then came the shocking discovery that changed everything between them.

In March of 2024, I learned that my dad and friend were secretly sleeping together. I was under the impression from the last time I saw her that she was...

I wasn’t supposed to know the information, so I just kept to myself until one of them wanted to talk.

When her dad finally opened up, she hoped for real understanding, but it quickly turned frustrating.

In May, my dad said he would like me to come over and chat about everything that’s going on, he figured out that I already knew.

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While I was over there, I did really want to hear him out, but I also wanted to share with him my feelings. He kept repeating that I’m the most...

I plainly told him that I wouldn’t feel comfortable around her anymore. With all the lies and secrets, my history with her, I wouldn’t want to put myself through that.

And that I do not want to strip him of his happiness, and force him to break up with her, but if he chooses to be with her, then he...

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He then kept bringing up how happy he is, and how for the first time he could be himself, and wouldn’t it be so cool if we could all go...

and repeated that I don’t feel comfortable, and since he said he would do anything I said, just say it, I told him I don’t want him to continue seeing...

The realization that nothing had changed added another layer of hurt.

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Up until Monday, I knew he didn’t end it. And he still wanted me to be involved in his life, so he made it a point to not share that...

Information like he just got a bad matching tattoo with her, my little sisters found a note addressed to her calling her “princess”.

I get an email from him on Monday, basically asking for another chance to hear their story out. I blocked her a while ago, and he said that wasn’t fair...

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Mentally, it’s hard to even be around my dad, let alone seeing or hearing from my “friend” I responded with basically the same information I told him in May.

That this has gone on long enough, since it’s still been going on and you lied about it, consider this the final contact with me. If he chooses to break...

I’m not forcing him anything, but I will not be hearing them out. They wanted me to do it with me, him, her and my SO. I get anxiety just...

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He also used manipulation tactics on me in the email, like he used to do when I was a kid, “I love you and I’d walk through fire for you,...

Aren’t I allowed to have that when I’ll have nothing after your sisters graduate?” Anyhoo, AITA for sharing my honest feelings with him?

This situation touches on tricky family dynamics, like how adult kids navigate a parent’s new romance, especially one that feels so personally conflicting. From one side, the daughter is clearly protecting her emotional well-being after feeling betrayed by both her dad and former friend. On the other, the father insists his happiness matters too, pushing for everyone to get along despite the obvious discomfort.

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Broader themes pop up here, like respecting personal choices in relationships while honoring family bonds and individual autonomy. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman has emphasized that trust and commitment are key to healthy connections, noting how accepting influence from loved ones can lead to stability. Yet in conflicts like this, open communication often breaks down when one side feels unheard.

Practical steps could include calm conversations focused on feelings rather than accusations—maybe saying how the situation affects you without demanding changes. Compromises, like agreeing to separate social circles, might ease tension for some families. Therapy for individuals or as a group can help unpack manipulation patterns or build better listening skills. Ultimately, everyone deserves space to process without pressure.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users rallied behind the daughter, cheering her for holding steady.

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Cool-Bandicoot9736 − NTA You were honest with him. It makes you uncomfortable and you set your boundaries. Stay strong, stick with your boundaries and keep no contact of any kind...

Like you said, you're not telling him he can't be happy, but as long as he's with her, you won't be a part of his life. I'm proud of you...

mutherofdoggos − NTA There is absolutely NO explanation that would ever lead to me forgiving *my father* for sleeping with a woman *my age*, whether she were a friend of...

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In your shoes, I’d tell my dad that I will never be able to view him the same way, I cannot respect him as a man or as my dad,...

JustAsICanBeSoCruel − Yeah, huge NTA. Your Dad knows what he is doing and hopes he can wear you down. If he gets YOU to accept it,

it validates his relationship so he can tell others 'well my daughter is okay with it'. . Honestly, right now no contact is the only way to go. He's gross,...

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[Reddit User] − NTA everything you said & did would be exactly how I’d expect myself and most others in this sub advise you do! It’s hard enforcing our boundaries...

People need to understand there are consequences to their behaviour, even if it’s making them happy. To expect you to feel any differently and not respect that boundary you set,...

AspectNo1992 − NTA and your dad is disgusting for wanting to be with a woman the SAME age as his daughter. And your ex-friend is freaking gross for going for...

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Others offered more nuanced takes, seeing flaws on multiple sides while still validating her stance.

hoklepto − NTA for telling him your feelings and setting the boundaries you need to protect your peace. It is bizarre of him to refuse to respect your needs and...

Does he understand that if that does actually happen, he's immediately going to be singled out as a creepy old man to everyone who sees him?

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Not some hot shot Silver Fox who can bag a young woman, but a freaking predator who, upon people finding out the relationship between you and his new boo,

will be assumed to have groomed her into a s__ual relationship. He was even EMPLOYING her because she needed cash.

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There was a power imbalance and arguably, he could have taken advantage of it because he knew she needed the money more than she wanted to say no.

The fact that he keeps wanting you to come around and be all friendly and everything really gives off the vibe that he knows exactly how he comes across

and he wants you there to basically vouch for him. He doesn't care about your comfort or your happiness, only to make sure that he continues to look like a...

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ayymahi − To date a girl the same age as your daughter is one thing but it’s ops own friend…yikes. him trying to justify the relationship & wanting you to...

MidLifeCrisis111 − I have a daughter and I’m absolutely disgusted by your dad. He’s also full of s__t. He keeps saying that you are most important and he’ll do whatever...

Your dad’s decision to sleep with your friend is unbelievably selfish. Please don’t feel guilty if you choose to go low or no contact with him.

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accj30 − NTA. You are not obliged to accept anything. You have already been clear about how you feel and the conditions for continuing your relationship with him, now it...

ImpassionateGods001 − NTA. I'm sorry OP but he's absolutely gross sleeping with someone who could be his daughter, and not only that,

but was a close friend with you, and she was also his employee. She's no better. She might've been groomed. However, she's no friend of you. I'd be absolutely disgusted...

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which he obviously won't, I wouldn't want any relationship with someone so gross, father or not. He should take good care of her because she's all he would have in...

A few brought some levity to lighten the heavy topic.

FinalConsequence70 − So. ....does she still have a fiance? Cause how's that working out?

Unique-Pause-4126 − Your dad is a straight up creep. Moving her in is not good for when he is supposed to have your siblings in the house.

[Reddit User] − All go on dates? So you can have a double date and both call him daddy? F__k that. NTA

SlimegirlMcDouble − Your dad is gross, weird, and is living in a fantasy where he gets everything he wants. You pushing back kills the fantasy, so he's trying to have...

VadersLoversLover − The first thing you should do is talk to your sisters about keeping their friends away from him.

This story wraps up with tough choices on all sides—prioritizing personal happiness versus family unity, and the pain of broken trust. Everyone involved clearly cares, yet perspectives clash hard. It’s a reminder that relationships evolve, and sometimes space is needed. What would you do if a parent’s choice put you in this position?

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