AITA for leaving a group text my dad added me to with my sister whom I have no contact with?

Family tensions boiled over when one sibling cut off contact without a word back in October 2024. Turns out the silent treatment stemmed from the poster not hosting Thanksgiving—something they’d done every year while everyone else just showed up, often with extra guests, and expected to be waited on. Tired of carrying the load alone, they opted out this time.

Dad stepped in wanting reconciliation, inviting both to his birthday dinner. When the poster declined, he gave the cold shoulder, even ignoring a birthday text. Then came the daily “good morning” group texts including the estranged sister—cheerful exchanges that felt like ignoring clear boundaries. The poster quietly left the chat. What followed was an explosive, hateful message from dad, full of insults and a dramatic “have a good life” sign-off. Now they’re wondering if exiting the group without announcement made them the asshole.

‘AITA for leaving a group text my dad added me to with my sister whom I have no contact with?’

The rift with the sister started suddenly and stayed unexplained until dad filled in the blanks:

My sister stopped speaking to me in October 2024 without explanation and I recently found out from my father the reason is because I didn’t host

Thanksgiving in 2024 and she thought I was being “petty and selfish” even though she has never hosted a family holiday and I do it every year and I’m tired...

Dad tried to force a reunion, but things only escalated when boundaries were ignored:

My father wants us to make up so he invited me to his birthday dinner with my sister. I declined, so then he stopped speaking to me for a few...

I texted him reminding his she is the one who stopped speaking to me and stated I was unwilling to pretend nothing happened just because he wants us to speak.

He then proceeded to send a group text 3 days in a row saying “good morning” and it was ruining my morning to see them go cheerfully back and forth...

Later that morning I received the most hateful text from my father basically telling me to have a good life, he’ll never forgive me, I think I’m special but I’m...

AITAH for leaving the group text? Maybe I should have announced I was leaving, I don’t know the etiquette of group texts but I know I didn’t deserve the hate...

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Boundaries in family dynamics are essential yet often tested hardest by the people closest to us. When one person goes no-contact, others sometimes react by minimizing the issue or pressuring reconciliation on their timeline—especially parents who fear losing connection to either child.

Silent treatments and forced group interactions can feel like emotional manipulation, signaling “get over it” without addressing the original hurt. Leaving a chat quietly is a soft boundary enforcement; announcing it might invite debate or drama.

Toxic outbursts like the father’s hateful text often reveal deeper entitlement—expecting compliance while refusing accountability. Mental health experts frequently advise low or no contact with relatives who respond to boundaries with rage or insults, as it protects emotional well-being.

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Moving forward, many find peace by focusing on chosen family and supportive relationships. Therapy can help process grief over the loss of the idealized family while reinforcing that self-respect isn’t selfishness.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

The online crowd was unanimous—NTA—and many saw clear patterns of entitlement running through both sister and father:

Plenty called out the immaturity and suggested going no-contact with dad too.

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Odd-End-1405 - Is your father 12? Sounds like it NTA

Exotic-Rooster4427 - NTA. Seems like we know where your sister gets her behaviour from. Do me a really big favour. ..have an amazingly wonderful life.

Post it all over social media. Those sickly sweet instragram snaps of thanksgiving and christmas. The perfect life. All where those two can see and see that you didn't invite...

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adult_child86 - screenshot of his hateful words "Just know this is why you lost a kid. Look at it every time you think you're entitled to contact with me. You're...

jensmith20055002 - Screenshot his hateful words and send them to everyone in the family. NTA - at least the trash took itself out

Capable-Contact6868 - Why are you still in contact with this narcissistic a__hole. He's why your sister is such a c*nt. Make the no contact permanent and find real family. You're...

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Others highlighted the double standards and encouraged holding firm on boundaries.

Traditional_Film_636 - NTA, group texts can be really hard work. Especially with family.

boundaries4546 - So it’s OK for your sister to be entitled and treat you like s__t, but it’s not OK for you to refuse to engage because of it. Tell...

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Spartan2022 - NTA. Some serious communication and boundary issues going on. Stick to your guns, and you don’t have to argue. If he sends you angry messages, grey rock.

Ignore the anger 1,000% and respond something positive “What’d you think of the Bears comeback? ” or “Do you remember that Christmas when . . . ” It takes two...

A few shared empathy from similar toxic family experiences and wished the poster well.

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MamaMeAhh78 - I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm not in contact with any of my "family" cuz they are just too toxic. Do what you need to do to...

donname10 - Nta but damn. Good riddance. Enjoy your life.

calmoceanbreeze - Perfect you got rid of your s__tty trash father. Now it’s time to go NC with both. It better that way

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Riker_Omega_Three - NTA Your sister learned her behavior from your dad So put them both in timeout and move on with your life

anaisaknits - You father is definitely in entitled camp. No you don't have to engage and he needs to respect that. Don't respond to him either but I'd leave him...

bloo_monkey - F__k em both. What the hell?!

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OkSignature3562 - Tell other family members as it might not actually be your dad. Why can’t you block him? Also why couldn’t you call her out in the group chat?

Sometimes the healthiest move is stepping away from dynamics that demand you shrink your needs to keep the peace. Leaving the chat protected emotional space; the explosive reaction that followed spoke volumes about who truly struggled with boundaries.

When family ties turn toxic, choosing distance can open room for real peace. Have you ever set a boundary that got met with anger—and later felt relief? What did that teach you about whose reactions are whose responsibility? Share your experiences below; these stories help us all navigate the messy side of family.

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