AITA for putting a restraining order on my ex fiancé after he took our newborn forcefully from the hospital to his mom while I was still hospitalized?

A new mother, still hooked up to an IV and recovering from a complicated C-section, watched in horror as her ex-fiancé walked out of the hospital with their newborn baby. She begged him to stop, screamed for help, but he left anyway — all because his mother didn’t want to drive 30 minutes to visit the child.

What started as a toxic relationship filled with anger outbursts and emotional manipulation turned into a full-blown crisis after the baby arrived. The ex had already admitted to imagining violent acts toward their crying son, yet days later he took the infant against her wishes. She fought back with a temporary restraining order to get her child returned, but lingering feelings for him left her questioning everything.

‘AITA for putting a restraining order on my ex fiancé after he took our newborn forcefully from the hospital to his mom while I was still hospitalized?’

The trouble began early in the 28-year-old woman’s relationship with her 27-year-old ex-fiancé, where she made major sacrifices hoping to build a future family:

Their dynamic quickly turned toxic, marked by frequent arguments that escalated dangerously:

Her pregnancy was grueling, ending in early induction due to preeclampsia and a difficult delivery:

The next day brought another explosive incident while she tried to catch up on sleep:

Complications worsened when her C-section wound became infected, requiring re-hospitalization — right as his mother arrived from out of state:

She turned to legal action the following day:

In updates, she shared her current situation and resolve:

The ex’s history of wall-punching, verbal belittling, suicidal threats, and violent fantasies toward a newborn reveals deep anger issues and a high risk of escalation. Taking the baby from the hospital against a recovering mother’s desperate pleas prioritized his mother’s demands over everyone else’s safety and well-being.

Some might point out that she initially agreed to let them take the baby for a day, or argue these matters should stay within the family. But once she changed her mind and clearly revoked consent, ignoring her screams and removing the child anyway crossed a serious line.

Domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft notes in Why Does He Do That? that abusive partners often ramp up control once a child arrives, treating the baby as leverage to manipulate the mother (source: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men). This situation matches that pattern almost exactly.

She should keep the restraining order active, hire a strong family law attorney, document every detail, and start therapy to work through trauma and conflicting emotions. Any future visitation must be supervised and only after he proves real progress in anger management. Staying close to supportive family is crucial — isolation makes it harder to leave for good.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Online reactions poured in fast, with almost everyone siding firmly with the mother and urging her to stay far away:

Many commenters grew frustrated with her lingering feelings, warning of deadly consequences if she softened:

A few criticized her decision to have a child with him in the first place but still supported full separation:

The overwhelming consensus is clear: the mother did the right thing by securing a restraining order and prioritizing her baby’s safety. Her ex’s violent fantasies, history of rage, and willingness to remove the child from a hospitalized mother paint a dangerous picture that no lingering affection should override.

Still, many struggle to understand why traces of love remain after such betrayal. What do you think — can someone truly change after showing this level of instability, or is permanent distance the only safe choice for the child? Share your thoughts below.