AITA for faking my giving birth?

A 25-year-old woman, days away from giving birth, has long worried that her overly involved mother-in-law would manufacture a crisis to pull her husband away during labor. Despite his promises to stay glued to his phone and rush her to the hospital, past patterns of the MIL’s dramatic “emergencies” on special occasions fueled her fears—especially since her own mother died in childbirth.

What pushed her to act was escalating anxiety about being alone or delayed in a real emergency. She staged fake contractions, only for her husband to detour to the hospital with his mother after she claimed a “heart attack” from the exciting news—proving her worst fears and leaving her heartbroken.

‘AITA for faking my giving birth?’

The couple’s excitement for their first child was overshadowed by the husband’s enmeshed relationship with his mother.

I (25f) am pregnant with the baby due in a couple of days. My husband (25m) promised that he would be the one to drive me to the hospital &...

He works only 10 minutes from our home & his boss agreed to let him go when the birth happens.  The problem is my mother-in-law.

My husband & her have an unhealthily (IMO) strong bond & she is overly involved in our relationship which has caused many issues in the past.

She requires his attention every day, she has suggested moving in with us ever since I became pregnant, she also has "emergencies" whenever we have anniversaries, important occasions (like my...

Growing fears about abandonment during labor led to dismissed concerns and eventual drastic action.

As the date is approaching I became increasingly worried that his mother will have an "emergency" during birth & I will have trouble getting to the hospital or will be...

I voiced my concerns & it caused fights between me & them. I even suggested asking my bsf to drive me & keep me company (as I'm scared of giving...

So, I'm not proud of it but I faked giving birth yesterday. I called my hubby at work, told him it started, he said he will be right there. After...

ADVERTISEMENT

After almost an hour he called me to say he is at the hospital with his mom because, guess what, she is having a medical emergency...

Apparently he called her to tell her I am giving birth & she got "a heart attack" from excitement... He said he will have to miss my birth & actually...

The revelation sparked anger, with the husband defending his choice and equating her test to his mother’s deception.

ADVERTISEMENT

I admit, I was very angry & heartbroken so I told him I wasn't actually giving birth & that it was a test that showed me how he would actually...

it proved he would always care for his mother more than for his own wife whose carrying his child. He was very angry & even blamed me for his mother's...

His mom of course didn't have a heart attack but a "false alarm". I felt very justified but now that we talked I feel guilty. He said he feels manipulated...

ADVERTISEMENT

That just because his mother lied about the emergency doesnt mean I should lie to him. He said that marriage is built on trust so I have to trust him...

He even said that he didn't choose his mother over me but chose a "bigger emergency" & that he knew I could "handle getting to the hospital" but his mother...

I pointed out she lied but he said he "couldn't have known that" & that I was "just as bad for lying". I feel like I'm going crazy. AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

Edit: Just because I dont won't to be misunderstood - I did what I did because I am terrified to give birth alone.

My friend would have to ask for a day off in advance so she'd have to know that she is needed before I actually get contractions. My mom died in...

Even if I am TA, I think this gave me the push I needed to "get my ducks in a row" & my friend already asked for a couple days...

ADVERTISEMENT

This scenario highlights severe enmeshment between the husband and his mother, where her needs consistently override his nuclear family’s. The wife’s “test,” while deceptive, stemmed from legitimate trauma and repeated boundary violations, accurately predicting a pattern that could endanger her and the baby during real labor. Her husband’s immediate call to his mother—sharing news that triggered the fake crisis—further enabled the manipulation.

Some argue mutual lying erodes trust, making everyone at fault. Yet the power imbalance is stark: the MIL’s history of weaponized “emergencies” and the husband’s defense of prioritizing a suspected fake heart attack over imminent childbirth reveal misplaced loyalties. Dismissing labor as something his wife can “handle” alone ignores its medical risks and emotional weight, especially given her family history.

Culturally, this echoes “mama’s boy” dynamics and justnomil conflicts, where partners must cleave to their spouse for healthy marriage. Without therapy to establish boundaries, the wife faces ongoing secondary status. Her actions, though extreme, provided critical clarity, empowering her to secure reliable support and question the relationship’s viability.

ADVERTISEMENT

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Many users emphatically supported the wife, validating her test as necessary proof of unreliable priorities.

TheNewAnonima234 − Don’t let some of the other people in the comments gaslight you. NTA 100%. The fact that you called what would happen exactly, shows how necessary your trick...

Your SO’s mom is clearly a narcissist. As she isn’t acting appropriately at all. She made your major life event all about her.

ADVERTISEMENT

Because, while it does affect her since it is her grandchild, she should never have had such an emotional reaction that it affected her health. It’s complete emotional irregulation.

And she also should’ve never made her son choose between you and her. A grandma with appropriately regulated emotions would/should do one of two things when they find out their...

Get excited for a second and then hurriedly shoo the non-pregnant partner out the door to go see the birth. Or, excitedly ask to go with, though hopefully with previous...

ADVERTISEMENT

Neither of those things is a “heart attack”. Just because JNMIL is old, and heart attacks are more likely to happen in old age, doesn’t excuse her from being a...

Emotional-Ebb8321 − NTA And the mum is a major AH here. She knows perfectly well that a birth is coming up, so it shouldn't be the sort of surprise that...

And of course she was wasting hospital resources with her melodrama. Husband is an AH too here, for not having his priorities straight. In a real heart attack, the correct...

ADVERTISEMENT

and give the ambulance crew permission to smash the lock on the door if needed. Otherwise, that's an extra half hour or more wasted before medical care can be given.

MidnightOwl-8918 − I don't think you're the AH here at all, because you KNEW he wouldn't be there and you KNEW she would fake an emergency at the notice of...

So all you did was prove that you're right in not being able to rely on him. This is literally the only way you could prove your fears, there was...

ADVERTISEMENT

Honestly, him getting mad at you for proving a very important point about how unreliable he is would be enough for me to end the relationship.

He won't be there in the most important moment of your lives so far, so he will never be there for anything. You can't trust him. You're not a team....

As someone who has my share of MIL problems, you won't ever be chosen as a priority. Men get instinctively protective of their child when it's this close to birth,...

ADVERTISEMENT

excel_pager_420 − This is a post from another woman whose husband also didn't call back when she went into labour:

If you were genuinely in labour, your husband ignoring you for an hour before telling you to make your own way to the hospital, you may not have made it...

ADVERTISEMENT

The lack of medical support + the stress could have had severe consequences for you and your child.   May I suggest a birthing plan that doesn't involve your husband?

Perhaps moving somewhere where you have support? Parents, siblings, a friend's place? You can sort out what this means for your marriage after your baby is here. NTA

A few offered more balanced or critical views while still urging the wife to protect herself and the baby.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA I fear you have to make peace with becoming a single mother. You dont have a husband. You are the bangable nanny to a mamas boy.

happybanana134 − NTA. Yea, what you did wasn't great. But this a valuable exercise to do in that at least you have confirmation that a) his mother will pull some...

Why is it ok for her to fake a heart attack but not ok for you to fib about labour? At least your stunt didn't waste the time of medical...

ADVERTISEMENT

FKAFigs − Ok my brain is saying e s h but heart is saying NTA. You are not going crazy, your husband is being absolutely absurd. I don’t know your...

he chose to start a new family that needs to always be his #1 priority. The healthy birth of his child IS more important than his mother’s “heart attack”, real...

Your marriage will not work out until he absolutely changes his perspective on this. That’s just the choice he made when he got married. If he wants to prioritize his...

ADVERTISEMENT

Whether you plan to leave him or not, plan your life as if you will leave him so when it comes time to make the decision you’re not worried about...

Others added pointed comparisons or encouragement to rethink the relationship without heavy judgment.

Neither_Ask_2374 − NTA. Honestly if he pulls this again when real birth happens I would divorce. Normally I don’t like lying about something so extreme,

but it was a test you needed to do because holy f__k did he let you down! !! In the future if you’re having a medical emergency (or if the...

and not call his mother because she will make it about herself every time. Y’all need some couples therapy real bad to help him realize how toxic his mom is...

[Reddit User] − YTA to yourself for marrying a man who always put his mom before you - and now acting (((shocked))) that, you guessed it, he’s putting his mom...

You have options: 1) couples counseling, 2) divorce, 3) accept it. For your birth, I would just assume he’s not going to be there and plan accordingly.

I probably wouldn’t even notify him. Plan on having your friend take you and be with you during the birth. Because the reality is, he WON’T be there.

It’s just smart planning. Look up “enmeshment. ” You husband is enmeshed with his mother. If he doesn’t recognize it and decide to do something about it, he’ll never change.

salaciouspeach − NTA. Is faking labor an extreme way to test your partner? Yeah, but he drove you to it, and proved you were right to do it.

This is like when someone is cheating, and being really obvious about it, so their partner snoops through their phone. The snooping is not "just as bad" as the cheating!

Your husband broke your trust over and over and over again. Your actions are understandable, reasonable, and justified.

Call your bestie and make a new birth plan that involves them and not your husband and definitely not your mil. Giving birth is a medical emergency just as much...

The wife’s unconventional test, born of fear and past patterns, confirmed a painful reality: her husband’s allegiance leans heavily toward his mother, potentially at great risk to her and their child. While deception isn’t ideal, the overwhelming view sees it as justified exposure of deeper dysfunction.

How would you handle a partner entangled with a manipulative parent during major life events? Is faking a crisis ever warranted to reveal true priorities, or does it always damage trust irreparably? Share your thoughts or similar experiences below.

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *