[UPDATE] AITAH for filing restraining orders on a pair of missionaries?

What happens when saying “no” to unwanted contact leads to harassment, arrests, and backlash from everyone you know? One woman faced exactly that after pursuing restraining orders against persistent missionaries who refused to respect her boundaries.

She stood firm through police involvement and a court hearing, only to face egging, threats, and isolation from family and friends. The update divided opinions online. Many supported her courage in enforcing her rights despite the fallout. Others acknowledged the pain but questioned how far the church’s influence extends. This story shows how deeply religious expectations can clash with personal autonomy — and how costly it can be to stand up for yourself.

‘[UPDATE] AITAH for filing restraining orders on a pair of missionaries?’

The update begins with escalating pressure right before the court hearing. The woman’s uncle (a ward bishop) arrived at her home with the missionaries, ignoring her previous requests to leave her alone.

After the incident, the woman faced intense emotional backlash. Family and community members attacked her verbally, and she struggled with guilt despite following through with the legal process.

In the end, the woman reflects on the heavy cost of enforcing her boundaries. She now faces ongoing harassment and isolation but stands by her decision.

This situation highlights the tension between personal boundaries and religious community expectations. The woman sought legal protection after repeated unwanted contact, but the response from family, church members, and even some friends turned into harassment and shaming. Her uncle and the missionaries disregarded her clear refusals, pressuring her to drop the matter privately.

Her guilt stems from internalized pressure to prioritize others’ feelings — especially within a tight-knit religious group — while the backlash (egging, threats, social ostracism) shows how strongly the community enforces conformity. The missionary’s visa revocation was a direct result of his actions, yet blame shifted to her. Communication failed when empathy was demanded only from her side.

Boundary expert Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab notes that “When you set a boundary and people get upset, that’s a sign the boundary is needed, not that it’s wrong.” This applies directly — her “no” was repeatedly ignored until legal action was necessary, revealing deeper issues of control rather than care.

To move forward, document every incident of harassment for potential further legal steps. Block non-essential contacts and seek a support network outside the church (like ex-Mormon groups). Therapy can help process guilt and rebuild self-worth. Small, consistent boundary enforcement — like maintaining no-contact — protects long-term well-being.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The online community overwhelmingly supported the woman. Readers called her brave for standing up to persistent harassment and urged her to protect herself further, viewing the backlash as classic cult-like behavior.

Most readers strongly sided with the original poster. They praised her courage and condemned the harassment she faced.

Several readers offered practical advice on next steps, including legal options and community resources.

This update reveals the heavy price of enforcing personal boundaries against strong group pressure. The woman protected her space through legal means, but the response — harassment, family rejection, and community shaming — shows how religious ties can turn protective actions into personal attacks. Her guilt is understandable, yet many see her choice as necessary self-defense.

It also highlights a larger pattern: when “no” is ignored, escalation often follows. True support respects consent, not demands it. She did what was needed to stop the intrusion, even if it cost her relationships. Would you have gone through with the restraining orders in her position? How would you handle family and community turning against you? What steps would you take next for safety and healing? Share your thoughts below.