AITA for refusing to change my relationship with my stepbrother and not giving him access to my house or gaming setup?

A 20-year-old guy inherited his late father’s house and prized gaming collection after turning 18. For years, his stepbrother—two years younger—had been jealous, bullying him over those very things and even mocking him when his dad passed away.

Now the stepbrother has suddenly reached out with an apology, asking to come over and play those “dumb games” he’s apparently missed. The young man turned him down flat, seeing right through the motive. His mom, though, is furious—calling him immature for not accepting the olive branch and working on family ties after all this time.

‘AITA for refusing to change my relationship with my stepbrother and not giving him access to my house or gaming setup?’

The bad blood started early, right after his mom remarried when he was 10 and the stepbrother was 8:

My parents divorced when I (20m) was 7. My mom remarried when I was 10 and her husband's son, my stepbrother, was 8. He and I got along badly from...

He didn't like that I could do stuff he couldn't, like walk to the store on my own because it was right down the block from mom's house or that...

He was jealous about the gaming setup I had at dad's house too but that was mom's fault he even knew about it. She tried to force my dad to...

We fought a lot and in the run up to the wedding we argued about being called brothers and having to stand next to each other during the wedding and...

He even bit me during the shoot and then I refused to take more photos with him. Our relationship got worse and he would annoy me complaining about s__t so...

My mom begged me at the time to please treat him like a little brother and just try to be nicer and let stuff go and she said it was...

He tried to befriend me once when we were like 13 and 11 and he wanted access to the good stuff but I didn't buy it and he let out...

Things took a darker turn after tragedy struck:

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My dad died when I was 16 and my stepbrother mocked me because he'd get to play that stuff now because of course dad's stuff would be going to mom...

Only my grandparents kept it at dad's house and watched over the house until I turned 18 and could move in. That's exactly what I did. My dad left everything...

My mom wanted me to let my stepbrother move in so he could have some independence while going to the college he got into nearby. I said no and I...

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She complained that I was doing nothing to improve the relationship and I replied that I don't need to. That I will never want to improve my relationship with him...

Then he reached out and told me he was sorry for being a jerk in the past and he wanted to know if he could come over and play games...

He said he saw my collection online and was jealous of all the stuff I have and would love the chance to play games he never could before or that...

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My mom found out he had reached out and asked me and she told me she was ashamed of me rejecting him so finally like that and she said it...

She said after all the gloating I did about that stuff in my teens the least I could do is try to work on things now and share with him....

She said I'm older than he is and I'm pretending I'm so mature while really I'm acting like a kid still and refusing to accept apologies and work on repairing...

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Blended families can be tough, especially when kids are thrown together without much say. Forcing bonds rarely works—it often breeds resentment, as seen here with constant pressure to “share” everything from time with dad to personal belongings.

The stepbrother’s jealousy turned into outright cruelty, culminating in mocking a grieving teen over his father’s death. That’s not typical sibling rivalry; it’s targeted bullying enabled by adults who prioritized harmony over fairness. The mom’s repeated pleas to “be the bigger person” placed unfair emotional labor on her biological son.

Genuine apologies require remorse without strings attached. This one reeks of opportunism—timed perfectly after spotting the gaming collection online and needing a place near college. Family therapist Dr. John Gottman emphasizes that trust rebuilds through consistent actions over time, not sudden requests for access to coveted items.

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At 20, living independently in an inherited home, the young man owes no one entry or forgiveness on demand. Boundaries aren’t immaturity; they’re self-protection after years of invalidation. If mom keeps pushing, low or no contact might preserve his peace while he heals from loss and past harm.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Online users overwhelmingly backed the guy, spotting the fake apology from a mile away and calling out mom’s favoritism:

DanyelN - NTA Your mom is failing to see (or refusing to see) that the only reason he is even making the effort is that you have something cool that...

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Tall_Hospital1071 - Gotta hate when a parent prioritizes their new family and desperately try to force a bond with the step parent/ kids at the expense of their own child...

And I say this as a SM who love my SK to pieces , I lucked out with two wonderful little humans ! But damn … The fact the the...

literally MOCKED OP when his dad died and even after that the mother is still trying to advocate for the stepbrother entitled and immature behavior while OP express his boundaries...

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Electronic_Wait_7500 - She's ashamed? Of YOUR behavior? ? No mom, I'm ashamed of the way you allowed your stepson to bully me for years and just told me to suck...

I'm ashamed of the fact that you put your own wants and the wants of your husband and his son ahead of the needs of your actual son.

Enjoy having that stepson living with you and his father for many years to come, mom, because he will probably NEVER launch successful and leave your home.

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PNWfan - You'd think between your mom, stepdad and your 18 year old stepbrother, they could have saved for a console over the last 12 years.

I-said-ur-stupid - Stand your ground. He doesn't want a relationship with you he wants access to your property. I know your mom cares about him but she didn't care enough...

She didn't care to stop him when he mocked your father's death. At any time his own father could've bought him video games but didnt. He is not your problem....

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shammy_dammy - NTA. Just flat out tell her no. And if she doesn't drop it, you'll put her on a contact time out. And why haven't you blocked him yet?

Straysmom - NTA. Sorry, but your mom is delusional if she expects you to invite your stepbrother into your house.

He was a little s__t when you lived in the same house & I doubt he has changed. He said he saw my collection online and was jealous of all...

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He could either try & steal your stuff or damage it so that you couldn't use it. You are not obligated to have any kind of relationship with him. Period.

Silver6Rules - I smell something sinister going on. You both have made it obvious you don't like each other, he has been jealous of you having stuff in the past,...

How about he make an actual attempt at repairing the relationship first (that doesn't involve your stuff) to make it believable, instead of expecting you to just hand over your...

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He probably wanted to come over to destroy your stuff. I guarantee the second he got through that door, either your stuff would get messed up or go missing. You...

There is no way in hell he has good intentions after the way he had been acting, and he has given you absolutely no reason to ever risk that. Let...

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curiousity60 - NTA Your mom fostered jealousy in your step-bro. Her constant pressure for you to "share" your dad and the things he provided reinforced step-bro's belief that he was...

It's sad that your mom poisoned the relationship you guys might have developed if she had raised you both to respect other people's boundaries and privacy.

Instead, she scapegoated you and taught step-bro to do it as well. Your dad left you a lifeline out of that house of manipulation, invalidation and abuse. Your mom still...

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Although she emotionally manipulated and damaged him, too. That damage isn't yours to heal. You've got plenty of your own damage to process, understand and heal from living with them.

Others suggested going low/no contact or firing back hard:

adult_child86 - "Sure mom. Once you've made up for forcing me to live in a house where I was bullied and mocked for my dads death, I'll do what you...

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[Reddit User] - Tell your mom you’re an adult now and you don’t want to associate with him. Tell her if she keeps this up you will go no contact...

That should shut her up if she wants to maintain her relationship with you. I hate when parents force these step sibling relationships. Sometimes you need to be blunt!

MMMindubi - NTA Not her house, your rules!

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Sharp_Magician_6628 - Tell your mother “I’m disappointed in you for not dealing with his b__lshit when we’re kids. And im disappointed in you for thinking you could dump him on...

You’re a fool if you think I will ever have a relationship with him. And right now I’m questioning my relationship with you” And leave it at that for now

grayblue_grrl - Your mom didn't act like a mature adult from the time they got married or she wouldn't have kept pushing. You have no obligations to befriend anyone.

Especially someone who was the bane of your existence. Block him on all social media. He can't envy what he doesn't know exists. Maybe your mother too. NTA

neverdiequasiwarrior - NTA, tell your mom to f__k off. Neither of them deserve to be in your life. When you receive a genuine apology from her for being a sack...

then maybe you can consider her requests but it needs to result in actual change this time not just a manipulation tactic.

This young man has every right to protect the home and belongings his father left him—especially from someone who’s shown nothing but jealousy and cruelty over them. An apology tied directly to wanting access feels hollow after years of real hurt.

Holding boundaries isn’t petty; it’s healthy, particularly when past pleas to “just get along” ignored one side’s pain. What do you think—does a sudden “sorry” erase bullying and mockery, or is trust earned slowly without ulterior motives? Have you navigated tricky step-sibling dynamics as an adult? Let’s hear it in the comments!

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