AITA for not correcting a guy who thought I was trans?
A 21-year-old tall, femme cis woman noticed a new guy in her friend group suddenly stop flirting after weeks of interest—and start slipping up on her pronouns. She realized he mistakenly thought she was trans, but chose not to correct him, figuring it solved the unwanted attention.
At a group lunch, he asked directly about her “coming out,” forcing the truth out in an awkward moment. He later blamed her for not clarifying sooner, claiming they’d be dating otherwise—and some friends agree she should’ve set him straight early to avoid embarrassing him.
‘AITA for not correcting a guy who thought I was trans?’
She’s used to her height drawing occasional comments, but this took a turn:
The assumption came to light publicly:
Misgendering based on appearance assumptions reveals bias—here, tying height to trans identity shows ignorance or prejudice. Not correcting privately spared direct confrontation, but public revelation highlighted his shift from flirtation to distance upon believing she was trans.
Silence isn’t deception if no false claim was made; she used correct pronouns, fulfilling basic respect. His “trouble” with them post-assumption suggests deliberate misgendering, exposing transphobia more than mistake.
Entitlement shines in blaming her for his embarrassment and lost “chance”—rejecting unwanted advances needs no explanation, let alone clarifying identity to preserve his interest.
Friends siding with him prioritize his feelings over her autonomy; dodging a jerk via misunderstanding isn’t obligation to educate. Boundaries include not owing clarity to casual acquaintances, especially when it weeds out incompatibility naturally.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Redditors ruled solidly NTA, roasting Jake’s transphobia and entitlement while praising her handling:
Many exposed his bias and poor logic:
![[Reddit User] - NTA. And ffs why would he “slip” with pronouns when he thought you were female at the beginning? That’s total AH behaviour imo because this must have...](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/wp-editor-1766561992568-3.webp)
She stayed neutral until confronted directly, then shut down his advances cleanly—exposing his assumptions while dodging drama, to widespread approval.
Assumptions about gender based on looks reveal more about the assumptor than the person. Would you correct a wrong impression that conveniently repels unwanted attention, or let it ride? When does not volunteering info become “leading on”?
