AITAH for breaking it off with my fiancée and “causing” her to take some pills?

He thought everything was perfect after three years together. He proposed, she said yes, and wedding planning kicked off. That’s when the cracks showed up fast. Deep differences over raising future kids and caring for his aging mom turned into non-negotiables she suddenly wouldn’t budge on. He called off the engagement, took back the ring, and tried to move forward.

Months later, he started dating someone new who shared his core values. Bringing her around the same friend group triggered his ex. Things escalated from heavy drinking to skipping events, and finally to a scary overdose attempt last week. Now her circle points fingers at him, saying he “caused” it by ending things and moving on too soon. He’s left wondering if he’s really the villain here.

‘AITAH for breaking it off with my fiancée and “causing” her to take some pills?’

The relationship felt solid until wedding planning forced the tough talks:

She also shut down any future plans for his mom living with them:

Then he met someone new:

Calling off an engagement over fundamental incompatibilities like child-rearing and elder care isn’t cruel—it’s responsible. These aren’t small preferences; they’re core life visions that rarely compromise without resentment building. Discovering them post-proposal beats finding out after vows or kids.

His ex appeared to handle the breakup initially by dating others publicly, which set the tone that both were moving on. Introducing a new partner over a year later falls well within normal timelines. Her escalating distress after seeing him happy suggests unresolved attachment, but that’s not his burden to carry indefinitely.

Mental health crises are heartbreaking, yet no one “makes” another person attempt suicide. Professionals emphasize that such acts stem from deeper personal struggles, not a single trigger like a breakup (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention resources stress shared responsibility lies with mental health support systems).

Smart path: Maintain distance to protect his own well-being and new relationship. Offer quiet concern if genuine, but avoid guilt-driven contact that could enable manipulation. Focus on building the future with someone aligned.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The online crowd overwhelmingly backed him, calling it a bullet dodged and rejecting any blame for her actions.

Most agreed he did the mature thing by ending it early:

Many highlighted the hypocrisy and possible manipulation:

Others urged staying away and prioritizing the new relationship:

A few offered nuance or advice:

Breaking an engagement over irreconcilable life plans saved years of potential misery. Her pain is real and tragic, but pinning it solely on him ignores personal agency and deeper issues. He deserves to build the family life he wants without guilt.

Have you ever ended things over big future differences? Would you visit an ex in the hospital after something like this, or keep your distance? Let us know in the comments!