AITA for telling her I’m not paying child support?

A guy broke off his engagement after cheating on his pregnant fiancée, and both were crushed when the baby was stillborn. Months later, she suddenly insists he still owes child support like they’d discussed before. He shot her down harshly, and now friends and even his own mom are turning against him.

He admits he never wanted to be a dad under those messy circumstances, but the grief over losing the child hit him just as hard. His blunt words are haunting him now, with everyone close to her (and some of his own family) calling him out. Still, he can’t wrap his head around why she’d ask for money for a baby who’s no longer here.

‘AITA for telling her I’m not paying child support?’

It all started with a painful breakup after he cheated while she was pregnant:

My ex fiancee Alice 34F and I split up because I cheated on her while she was pregnant. She started dating someone else and when she was six months pregnant,

she told me that she was going to put me on child support. I was pretty upset as I didn't want to be a father like this. However, when she...

But recently, Alice came back with a demand that left him stunned:

But then, recently, Alice told me that she still wants child support from me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told her no, and that I wasn't going...

I know it was insensitive, and now her friends are all saying I'm a jerk. My mom is even sympathizing with Alice. I feel absolutely terrible about what I said....

and I should have been more empathetic towards Alice. However, I just couldn't understand why she would still want child support when the baby had passed away.

Losing a baby to stillbirth ranks among the most devastating experiences anyone can face. Both parents lose a future they’d already started imagining, and everyone processes that grief differently—sometimes in ways that seem baffling to others.

For Alice, demanding child support might stem from denial or a desperate attempt to hold onto something tied to the lost child. Grief expert Dr. Christina Hibbert, author of “This Is How We Grow,” notes that many people cling to rituals or connections related to the deceased as a way to cope, even when logic says otherwise.

ADVERTISEMENT

Meanwhile, the guy’s sharp reaction makes sense too—he’s carrying guilt from the affair, plus shock at her out-of-left-field request. Still, phrasing it as “pay for a dead baby” was brutally blunt and likely deepened her pain.

Legally and practically, child support exists solely to care for a living child; it doesn’t continue after a death. If she’s asking for help with medical or funeral costs from the pregnancy, sharing that burden would be fair. But ongoing monthly payments? That could signal she’s struggling mentally and needs professional support fast.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Most folks online found the whole thing so wild they straight-up called it fake:

ADVERTISEMENT

Interesting_Entry831 - This is the worst fake I have seen in a while. You didn't even TRY to be believable.

CreedTheDawg - Very poor attempt at trolling. This is too ridiculous to be believable.

Canem_inferni - lol da fuq is this? dark creative writing 101?

ADVERTISEMENT

Eagle_Kebab - Absurdist fiction at its finest!

the-blob1997 - These stories get faker and faker with each one

Plenty suspected missing details maybe she’s really after help with bills rather than endless support:

ADVERTISEMENT

ScallMcPoopie813 - OP I feel like we’re not getting the full story here. Are you sure she wants ongoing CHILD SUPPORT? Or does she want you to pay your half...

[Reddit User] - Are there any outstanding hospital bills that she needs help with?

frustratedDIL - INFO: Did you contribute to the funeral and medical expenses? Is that what she is asking for or an ongoing payment? If you didn’t contribute to expenses, YTA....

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] - Info: what child expenses is she wanting support for? If it’s helping her pay for the funeral expenses, you’re an ass.

Some figured Alice might be dealing with serious unresolved grief:

cassowary32 - Is this made up? There's no court that would grant child support when there's no child. NTA for refusing to pay, but I have a hard time believing...

ADVERTISEMENT

Did you have an arrangement to financially support your ex fiancée after the breakup? Were you paying her rent?

MizzyvonMuffling - According to your answers you did not cheat. She needs help because she might have not dealt with the grief in a proper way

and asking for child-support doesn't make the death of your child "real" for her - you know what I mean? If you'd pay for a "child" it might make it...

ADVERTISEMENT

The rest mostly agreed he’s not wrong to refuse but could’ve handled it kinder:

[Reddit User] - Let her take you to court. That’ll be fun to watch. Crazy. NTA

[Reddit User] - No. Child support is for caring for children. There is no child supoort for children after they die. I honestly wonder if this post is a real-life...

ADVERTISEMENT

DriverAlternative958 - NTA. Alice is a vile person, falsely accusing you of cheating then demanding “child support” for a dead child. Block her and anyone giving you a hard time...

Stabbycrabs83 - If your ex is mentally challenged try to be nice to her. NTA for not paying child support for a non existent child. The rest is out of...

Real or not, this tale leaves people stunned by the raw mix of loss, guilt, and money drama. The guy has zero legal duty to pay ongoing support for a child who passed, yet his harsh wording earned him plenty of backlash.

ADVERTISEMENT

In the end, if it’s genuine, both could use time and maybe therapy to heal from the shared tragedy. What do you think: was he totally out of line with his words, or is she the one who urgently needs help? How would you react in his shoes?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *