AITA for making all of my kids take quiet time in the afternoons?

A mother of four young children implemented mandatory afternoon quiet time on weekends to manage the chaos while her husband works on their new fixer-upper house, requiring even the older kids to play or read alone in their rooms for 90 minutes. The routine allows the younger ones to nap and gives her a much-needed break after morning outings with all four.

What escalated the issue is her sister-in-law’s unexpected visit during this period, leading to shock at the “locked-in” setup and accusations of abuse spread to family members. The SIL, a stay-at-home mom with widely spaced children, claimed forcing school-aged kids into solitary quiet play just for parental peace is harmful, sparking a defensive clash.

‘AITA for making all of my kids take quiet time in the afternoons?’

The family recently shifted routines after buying a home that requires extensive weekend renovations.

My husband and I have 4 kids: 8m, 7f, 4f, 2f. We both work full time and we just bought a house. The house needs a lot of work so...

Before we bought the house, our kids had 2 different schedules. The older two would go out with one parent and the younger two would stay with the other so...

Without my husband home to split up with the kids, we've had to combine schedules so we go out in the morning, tend to eat lunch in the car, then...

Quiet time rules ensure rest for the little ones and independent play for the older pair.

The older two go to their room and can read or play quietly and the younger two sleep. Quiet time starts at 1 and the older two can come out...

During quiet time nobody comes to get me unless someone is bleeding, throwing up, or on fire. After quiet time everyone has a snack then we watch a movie, dad...

The sister-in-law’s drop-in visit triggered judgment and ongoing family complaints.

Last weekend my SIL stopped by to pick up some folding chairs during quiet time. She commented on how quiet the house was and asked what I did with the...

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I told her it was quiet time and that everyone has to stay in their rooms and sleep, read, or play quietly. She asked if I was really doing that...

play with barbies or hot wheels, color, make blanket forts, etc. in their room for an hour and a half twice a week. She mentioned how she never did that...

and even said that she thinks it might be abusive for me to lock the older two in their room for an hour and a half just so I can...

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I told her to take the chairs and go but she's still complaining to family that I'm abusing the older two by making them play in their rooms for an...

Enforcing structured quiet time in a large family highlights practical parenting in demanding circumstances, allowing rest for toddlers and fostering independence in school-aged children through self-directed play. The poster’s system accommodates new logistical challenges while protecting her own limited downtime.

Critics like the SIL may view it as overly restrictive, equating solitude to neglect or believing constant stimulation and parental engagement are essential. Differences in family size and work status fuel such judgments—managing four close-aged kids solo differs vastly from raising two with a decade gap as a stay-at-home parent.

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Culturally, teaching children to entertain themselves quietly is increasingly valued amid concerns over screen dependency and over-scheduling. Brief daily or weekly quiet periods promote creativity, emotional regulation, and respect for others’ needs without harm, especially when children have toys, books, and freedom within safe boundaries.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many users praised the poster’s approach, calling it healthy, necessary, and far from abusive while highlighting benefits for the children.

latents − NTA   There certainly isn’t any harm done to a child by asking them to play quietly with their toys for a short period.

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I am curious if the older two might enjoy playing quietly together on occasion since I know some children who thrive on having someone else to play with while others...

Does SIL think children aren’t individuals who might like different things and all children are exactly the same as her children? What reason would she have to think that she...

grammarlysucksass − NTA and honestly this sounds like a parenting idea that I will be implementing. I don’t have kids but it sounds to me like it’s a great way...

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and initiative in your older two, plus giving them their time to be creative and imaginative without parental influence. Also gets across the idea that parents are people who need...

As long as your kids are safe and know you’ll be there in an emergency, they will not be harmed by being by themselves for a couple of hours a...

Britt_Bee9293 − This is a great idea. It fosters independence through independent, self-directed play, encourages them to be creative,

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gives them space to learn how to be alone with themselves (this is not an easy skill to learn), and it gives them a chance also for their own break/quiet...

(I’m sure it can be hard sometimes for them also within a big family)! You’re also providing structure and routine through scheduling this time for them.

As long as they’re not physically locked in there (which I 100% don’t think they are based on your comment), this is the farthest thing from abusive! ! NTA at...

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New-Pea-3721 − Info: lock the older two in their room Do you actually lock the older two in their rooms, or was that just the turn of phrase she used

KingBretwald − There is nothing inherently abusive about requiring your kids to spend 90 minutes quietly in their rooms. Your SIL is way out of line. Given the age of...

A broken bone, abdominal pain, diarrhea, uncontrolled shivvering, falling with a head strike, or choking are not "bleeding, throwing up,

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or on fire" but it would still be a good idea for a parent to be fetched in those circumstances. Still not abuse, though. (My 14 year old stepdaughter got...

Her mother, who worked nights and had similar rules about being disturbed, woke up, saw her cradling her arm, asked what happened and then told her "that counts as bleeding"...

Some offered balanced questions or clarifications while firmly rejecting the abuse label.

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[Reddit User] − You have 4 kids. SIL has two with massive age gap. We all parent differently. It’s not abuse, but 90 minutes is a lot of time spent...

mindlessmandee − NTA. I always had quiet time. As they have gotten older, the quiet time is not with me. It's in their space with their things they can do...

Most times, that's playing with their toys. Other times, they actually nap - especially during the school week. You aren't abusing them by having a routine and enforcing boundaries.

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There is nothing wrong with letting kids be kids. About your SIL gossiping. . . I would ask my husband to sit down with me and the kids to talk...

Have a convo so that you can get him to see how it is working for everyone. . And then, as long as he agrees, you don't need to answer...

I wish a m__herfucker would come to my house to use my s__t and then spread some crazy ass lies about how I'm raising my kids because they didn't have...

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It's weird, rude, and disrespectful as hell. She wouldn't be allowed back over for the sole reason of her being messy and a dangerous liar. Good luck!

kimba-the-tabby-lion − NTA. Kids need to know how to entertain themselves quietly. It's a normal, human skill that we a losing.

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Seriously, does she think they need to be stimulated every second of every day. It's amazing your kids are good with this, you are a brilliant mum! !

Others focused on the routine’s normalcy and the SIL’s overreach with relatable support.

zzWoWzz − NTA You are teaching your kids discipline. If the 2 big kids in the room have things they can occupy their time with and they don't complain about...

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whatsweetmadness − NTA. This is perfectly normal. I’m a nanny, and most of my bosses have implemented or were fine with me implementing quiet time once their kids got old...

Everyone needs a break, and it’s really important that kids learn how to entertain themselves. I usually used that time to eat my lunch and prep an afternoon craft or...

The overwhelming response cleared the poster of any wrongdoing—structured quiet time is widely seen as beneficial for both children and parents, teaching valuable life skills in a busy household. The sister-in-law’s dramatic accusation of abuse drew sharp criticism for being unfounded and intrusive.

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Did you grow up with quiet time or implement it with your own kids—how did it go? What’s your take on family members judging parenting choices they haven’t experienced themselves, like managing four versus two children? Share your thoughts and stories below.

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