WIBTAH if I a fake name for my unborn daughter with my sister?

Being pregnant at the same time as your twin might sound sweet and bonding, but for one woman, it quickly turned exhausting. At 28, she found herself navigating not just pregnancy hormones, but a sister who seemed determined to control every detail, especially the baby’s name. What started as playful suggestions soon became relentless pressure, daily messages, and an insistence that major decisions be shared only between the twins, not with the baby’s father.

As the due dates crept closer, the situation escalated. The sister refused to back off, clearly convinced that matching baby names were non-negotiable. Feeling cornered and ignored, the expectant mother began considering a drastic move: giving her sister a completely fake baby name just to regain some peace. On social media, readers had plenty to say about boundaries, honesty, and how far is too far when family refuses to listen.

WIBTAH if I a fake name for my unborn daughter with my sister?

The situation began when both twins discovered they were pregnant around the same time, and expectations quickly formed.

My sister and I are fraternal twins and we're both 28. We ended up pregnant at the same time (her a little before me)

and my sister has run with this idea that we need to name our babies matching or similar names and that we should share our pregnancies with each other and...

As the weeks went on, the name suggestions became more persistent and increasingly specific.

For 6 or 7 weeks she was pushing for me to use the names Edmund or Ethel for a boy or a girl because she was planning to use Edward...

She thought Edmund and Edward sounded handsome together and Ethel and Mabel sounded so cute and granny-chic.

Despite repeated refusals, the pressure didn’t stop, even as the names clearly didn’t align with the couple’s taste.

Ethel and Edmund would never be contenders for our baby name regardless of if I wanted my sister and I to choose similar names for our kids.

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And before someone asks she was of the belief that our babies would be the same s__ at that point. Eventually she did say we should do Rosemary

and Fredrick if we had one of each but again neither name was mine and my husband's taste. I told my sister I wasn't going to match up my baby's...

and I was going to choose a name with my husband aka the father of my child. She wasn't happy about it so then she started asking what names we...

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When direct refusal failed, the questioning intensified into daily harassment across multiple platforms.

She has made it her mission to find out and asks at least once a day even when I don't see her. The text always comes around the same time

and any additional texts asking will be scattered throughout the day or she'll call or DM me somewhere asking.

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But we don't want her to find out right now. Ideally she'll have her baby, name them, ours will be born and we'll wait a bit to announce and then...

I ignore when she asks me now and I had told her to stop several times before that. She's not giving up. The constant asking has driven me crazy.

Finally, overwhelmed and desperate for peace, the idea of a fake name began to feel tempting.

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So we thought about giving her a fake name and pretend we're using that until we're ready to say the real name.

This way she can't tailor her baby's name to ours and I feel this is what she will do if she knows our actual chose name.

I'll tell her something very out there because it would (to her) be realistic since, to her, the name Meadow (a name I mentioned I liked 2 or 3 years...

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So I figure I could go pretty out there in the fake name and she'll believe it and then she can think that's the name until both babies are here...

At the heart of this conflict is a clash between closeness and autonomy. Twins often share deep emotional bonds, but pregnancy can amplify existing dynamics. In this case, one sister appears to be seeking emotional reassurance and shared identity, while the other is prioritizing her marriage and future nuclear family. Neither desire is inherently wrong, but the imbalance creates tension.

From the sister’s side, the fixation on matching names and shared experiences may reflect insecurity or lack of support. If her romantic relationship feels unstable, she may be leaning on her twin to fill emotional gaps. Still, emotional need does not justify ignoring repeated requests to stop. Persistent pressure crosses from enthusiasm into control.

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According to Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, “Strong relationships are built on respecting each other’s boundaries and turning toward bids for connection without overriding autonomy.” This applies not just to couples, but to family relationships as well. Ignoring boundaries erodes trust and often leads to resentment that lasts far longer than the original conflict.

Practically, clear and consistent communication matters more than clever solutions. Giving a fake name may provide temporary relief, but it risks a bigger fallout later. Experts generally suggest firm, calm boundaries paired with consequences that are actually enforced.

Reducing contact, muting messages, or clearly stating topics that are off-limits can feel uncomfortable, but they protect long-term relationships. In this situation, prioritizing honesty, the marital partnership, and emotional well-being sets the foundation for healthier family dynamics once both babies arrive.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Many users strongly supported the poster, clearly frustrated on her behalf.

CrazyHead70 − I would say: Sis if you don’t stop asking I’m just gonna give you a random FAKE name. (Make sure to tell her this in front of witnesses!...

When she asks if you’re lying say yes and give her another random but more ridiculous name. And just keep giving her RIDICULOUS random names. Sis: What name have you...

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OP: Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable. Follow up with, Slick Rick, Mighty Joe Young, Columbo, Kojak, Starsky & Hutch, Johnny Fingers, Homer, Krusty Clown, the more ridiculous the better.

She’ll either give up or have a meltdown or both! Either way she will eventually give up asking as she will never be able to get a serious answer from...

Winter-eyed − Set a boundary now. Enforce it ruthlessly or she will overstep after the kids are born too telling you how to dress them how she believes they should...

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and religiously and educationally… “I am not discussing this with you. This is the last time I’ll tell you to stop talking about it to me or I will be...

After that if you mention it, I’ll block you for a month and so on. My pregnancy will not be used to hold me hostage to your weird obsessions and...

I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that your hormones are playing a part in this behavior but you are on notice that I’m not playing a game with...

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Do you understand? ”Anything other than “yes” you can send her a written statement of the same and just walk away. Lock her out and if she harasses you let...

Lady-Kat1969 − NTA. “Every time you ask, the name I give will not only be wrong but increasingly ridiculous. I am starting with Jezebel and Haman. You do not want...

If you choose this or a similar route and need far out names, feel free to DM me; I’m a name nerd of long standing and have entire books filled...

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themistycrystal − Tell her to stop or you will block her for a week. Then do it. If she does it again after that, block her again.

lilolememe − Your sister has a very unhealthy attachment to you. You may be twins, but you are both individuals. She's not entitled to "your life information", and she's breaching...

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This isn't respectful at all. It's enmeshment on her part. I think you need to start separating from her . .. like 1 call a day not several.

If she can't respect your boundaries and is harassing you then maybe not even talking for a day or two. She needs to know her entitlement and obsession is unacceptable

and won't be tolerated. She also needs to understand her behavior is toxic. Don't lie. It will only make things worse. Be direct and tell her no. Make a plan...

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Don't answer the phone more than once a day and let her know you can talk at such and such a time. My best friend from school was a twin,

and this type of closeness is too much - especially her insisting on you doing this without the baby daddies involvement in certain things. Uh, no. Absolutely not. This borders...

Others offered more cautious or balanced perspectives, warning about long-term consequences.

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MousseDefiant2400 − I don’t think you’re wrong if you did that but it will most likely cause more problems down the line (again not your fault at all) if I...

Ik you’ve already told her but a bit meaner and clearer this time Tell her you love her and appreciate her wanting to be close in your journey

but it is a private intimate thing you are sharing with your husband and if she can’t respect that she will not have any access to any baby updates/conversations etc.

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She should not make a choice like that based off you and likewise, should not expect you to do the same. It is your life and child regardless of the...

Ambitious-Border-906 − I get why you would want to, but I would caution against it, she will explode at the big reveal and you will just look like a monumental...

You and your sister are clearly not British though, Rose & Fred are British husband and wife serial killers, not sure that’s the vibe she’s looking for somehow.

Best plan is to refuse to engage and change the subject whenever she brings it up (or leave her on read if by text etc).

BothTreacle7534 − I’d not do it, better block her / reduce her for next few minths, than getting snide remarks for the rest of your lifes.

But I’d really really secure the names you want to pick, that includes his side of the family, she sounds obsessed enough to comb eg through his side’s family social...

Outrageous_Buy_9420 − I would ask her why this is so important to her. Is she not getting support anywhere else? You can provide her support without having shared baby names....

Ipso-Pacto-Facto − “We haven’t decided. If you ask one more time, I’m blocking you. ”

A few commenters tried to lighten the mood with dark humor and disbelief.

Angle_Superb − I wonder if her partner is not really a partner, more of a boyfriend and baby daddy and she knows he’s not there for her in the way...

So she is looking to you to provide that pregnancy, birthing, babies, etc long term partnership other half. But it’s not your job to be that.

She needs to separate, individuate, become more self reliant, and be accountable for her life choices. If she does that maybe at some point she’ll have the partner she wants.

Meantime she’s starting to come between you and your husband in the pecking order and it’s not ok.

Your relationship with your husband comes first as does his part in choosing names for HIS and YOUR child, and looking to the future of his and your own little...

Maybe confide in a parent or relative and see if they can give her extra support with her pregnancy experience.

You need to set and maintain boundaries with your sister and other posters have given good ideas about ways to do that.

Good luck to you and your husband creating your own little family, and enjoying the experience of preparing for, making choices and decisions about your first child together. Just the...

dorothyzbornak71 − Please just don't call them Fred and rose. .bad idea

cinekat − NTA but considering your actions may also affect your kid's relationship to their aunt and cousin, I think the best course of action is to continue saying that...

Tell her you don't want to share the names you're considering out of concern it might affect her own choice, which should after all be a unique parental bonding experience.

Sweaty-Move-5396 − Honestly I would tell her next time she asks, you're going to block her for 24 hours. Again? Now it's 48 hours. Then a week, then a month,...

TypicalNobody4857 − Like Rosemary and Frederick West? The serial k__ler couple from England? Is she on crack? ?

This situation highlights how easily excitement can turn into pressure when boundaries aren’t respected. While the urge to give a fake name is understandable, it also risks deepening an already strained relationship. At the same time, the sister’s refusal to listen has clearly crossed a line. Pregnancy is deeply personal, and each family deserves space to make its own choices. In the end, honesty paired with firm limits may be the only path forward. What would you do if a close family member simply refused to back off?

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