AITA for telling my father’s affair partner I don’t owe her or her kids any help or support?

A young man cut off all contact with his father’s former affair partner after she demanded he provide emotional support to her and her children during the fallout from his father’s latest infidelity. Forced into awkward family visits for years during his teens, he never bonded with her or her kids and resents the role they played in destroying his parents’ marriage.

What intensifies the confrontation is her insistence that he owes her children kindness and brotherly support as victims of the same cheating pattern she once enabled. His blunt rejection—that he owes them nothing and wants no part in their lives—has branded him heartless in her eyes, sparking debate over obligations to half-siblings born from betrayal.

‘AITA for telling my father’s affair partner I don’t owe her or her kids any help or support?’

The family fractured when the father cheated, eventually marrying the affair partner and blending households.

My father cheated on my mom and we found out about it when I (19m) was 13. He ended up moving in with the affair partner and her kids,

who were way younger than me at the time. They got married after the divorce between my parents was finalized,

and I was forced to go to his house every other week until I was 16 and then one weekend a month until I was 18 (and yes, it was...

I stopped going as soon as I could but my father kept trying to engage and would bring his stepkids along. So they saw me a little after I stopped...

Years later, the father cheated again, abandoning the affair partner and prompting her outreach.

Now he's cheated on his affair partner wife and has left to be with the new affair partner. The OG affair partner reached out to me because she wanted me...

The poster rejected the request forcefully, leading to accusations and harassment.

I was like hell no, hell f__king no, go to hell to her and she told me I owed her kids more kindness and support than that.

ADVERTISEMENT

So I was like I owe her and her kids nothing, no help, no support, nothing. I said they are not my family. They are not people I give a...

I blocked her number but she used a different phone and sent me a dozen texts saying I was a huge Ahole just like my dad and her kids saw...

Children of infidelity often grapple with complex loyalties, resentment, and forced relationships that leave lasting scars. The young man’s minimal contact—court-mandated and unwanted—never fostered genuine bonds with the affair partner’s children. Her demand for ongoing support ignores his trauma as the original family’s child, positioning him as emotional collateral in her consequences. Rejecting involvement protects hard-won boundaries after years of obligation.

ADVERTISEMENT

Opposing views might highlight the younger children’s innocence and potential attachment, suggesting basic kindness aids their stability. Yet no one owes forced sibling roles from parental betrayal; the affair partner reaps patterns she helped establish.

Broader perspectives on blended families stress mutual willingness—imposed ties breed resentment. Therapy often helps process anger without guilt, affirming self-preservation over inherited chaos.

Check out how the community responded:

Many users declared the poster NTA, validating his refusal and lack of obligation.

ADVERTISEMENT

ColdstreamCapple − NTA Whilst it’s unfortunate for your former step siblings you don’t have to have an ongoing relationship with them ,

but just remember they are victims in this too and you can feel sorry for them since they have a pretty ordinary mother with no morals I’d tell her to...

His new partner is going to learn the hard way May not be a bad thing to seek therapy just to talk through this OP as at your age this...

ADVERTISEMENT

DragonCelica − NTA When a man marries his mistress, it creates a vacancy. It always amazes me when someone starts a relationship with a cheater, and is then surprised when...

I feel for OG affair partners kids, because they're also victims of her and your dad. Does that mean you owe them anything? NO. Not even a little.

I'm sorry you had to go through so much turmoil. It must have been hell, being expected to play "happy family. " I hope you and your mom are doing...

ADVERTISEMENT

November-8485 − NTA. Yes her kids are probably attached and it’s painful, but that’s not your doing. You were only there because you were required to be and not an...

She messed with a cheater and found out it was a personality trait for him, not a love story. Not your responsibility. Maybe consider changing your number if it continues...

nfurnoh − Absolutely 100% NTA. You don’t owe them anything. My dad cheated on my mom, moved in with affair partner,

ADVERTISEMENT

and the first time I was over there for a gathering he introduced her daughter to me as my sister. I deadpanned back “ my mom only had one kid”...

A few commenters offered practical advice or sympathetic insights into the affair partner’s situation.

goshidontknow1395 − NTA, She's nothing to you. She's not family, she's just the person your dad cheated on your mom with. You owe her nothing.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dszquphsbnt − Has there ever been a more literal FAFO? NTA

yhaensch − NDA Tell her to prepare her kids to babysit new affairs kids, to be closer to their dad. See how she reacts.

joeyo1423 − Casual hello. It's me, Zoidberg. Act naturally...

ADVERTISEMENT

A few commenters offered practical advice or sympathetic insights into the affair partner’s situation.

teresajs − NTA She's probably trying to force a relationship to con you into babysitting for free. You don't owe her any relationship with her or her kids.

Maya2661 − NTA If you haven't had a real relationship with her kids before, it doesn't make sense now. I understand that it's not easy for AP, but it doesn't...

ADVERTISEMENT

She should rather look in the mirror, because SHE is the AH (with your father of course). .. but sadly, such an admission is difficult and usually impossible for such...

This raw confrontation exposes the lingering damage from parental infidelity, where children of the original family refuse roles in the fallout of affairs they never endorsed. Blunt boundaries protect healing, even if labeled cold by those facing consequences.

Have you cut contact with half-siblings from a parent’s affair—did guilt ever creep in? When does compassion for innocent kids clash with self-preservation from family betrayal?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *