AITA for not wanting my daughters to share a bed?

A mother of four daughters—twins aged 12, one 17, and one 20—planned a Caribbean cruise vacation with her husband, including an overnight stay in Miami beforehand. To cut costs on the expensive pre-cruise hotel, her husband booked one four-person room with two queen beds, requiring the girls to share beds for a single night.

What makes the story more complicated is the strong resistance from the 12-year-old twins, who begged for separate beds and even rooms, while the older daughters were indifferent. The mother sides with the younger girls’ discomfort and privacy concerns, but her husband insists it’s only one night and challenges her to cover the extra cost if she wants separate accommodations, sparking a dispute over entitlement, family finances, and parental authority.

‘AITA for not wanting my daughters to share a bed?’

The family faced high hotel costs in Miami, leading to debate over room arrangements for the daughters.

I have four daughters 12f, 12f, 17f, 20f. We're planning on going for a 7 day carribean cruise In late February (spring break) we plan to fly into miami a...

We wanted a hotel near the port and the ones We're quite expensive.. We Ultimately booked a room for me and my husband that costed 400 dollars per night.

We could book three rooms for all our kids which would cost 1200 dollars I felt this was expensive but it's okay.

Her husband proposed a cheaper four-person room with two queen beds to save money, forcing bed-sharing.

My husband disagrees and thinks we should book a 4 person room with Qeen beds for 500 dollars this way we would save around 300 dollars.

However this means my daughters would have to share two Qeen beds meaning all had to share a bed my younger daughter's hated the idea and begged us to not...

while my older two didn't really care since according to them "it's just one night" but my youngest daughters didn't even want to share a room which they would on...

On the cruise, separate cabins were arranged, but the mother views forcing bed-sharing as unfair and dismissive of the girls’ privacy.

ADVERTISEMENT

On the cruise we booked three rooms so the oldest two will occupy one cabin and the youngest two will occupy another cabin my younger daughter's wanted their own rooms...

I think it's unfair to make our daughters share a bed as it'll make them uncomfortable my husband says it's okay because it's just one night.

He Said that since he is paying for the cruise he's the one that makes the decisions and told me to pay the 300 dollars if I wanted my daughters...

ADVERTISEMENT

This disagreement highlights common family tensions around vacation budgeting, children’s evolving needs for personal space, and differing parental styles on indulgence versus practicality. The mother’s concern for her younger daughters’ comfort reflects awareness of puberty-related privacy issues, where sharing beds might feel invasive even among siblings.

However, opponents view the reaction as over-accommodating, noting that temporary bed-sharing among family is a normal compromise for one night, especially to avoid unnecessary expense on an already luxurious trip. Enabling strong resistance risks fostering entitlement, particularly when the children already receive separate cruise cabins.

Socially, expectations for personal space have grown with affluence, but many families prioritize shared experiences and fiscal responsibility during travel. A balanced approach might involve compromises like requesting a rollaway cot or emphasizing that brief discomfort builds resilience, while validating feelings without always yielding to them—ultimately reinforcing that vacations involve collective decisions, not individual vetoes.

ADVERTISEMENT

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Most users sided against the mother, calling the objection to one night of bed-sharing entitled and unnecessary.

RavenclawEC − YTA, this is ridiculous. .. they are sisters and they can share a bed for ONE night. ... How are you Ok by expending more money just for...

it sounds like you are not even ok with them having to share a cabin onboard the cruise and that is just crazy. ..

ADVERTISEMENT

They are kids, and they will expend most of their vacation time outside of the rooms. .. I agree with your husband that the extra room for the first night...

marzipancowgirl − **The hotel will usually supply a cot with extra bedding if requested. Occasionally they'll charge a small fee for the extra laundering cost.

The daughter who does NOT want to share the queen bed gets the cot. _** **YTA you are ridiculous. People, _especially siblings_ can share beds. And two 12 year old...

ADVERTISEMENT

In a QUEEN sized bed? Put a couple pillows as a divider between them and they'll be set. ** I can't believe you're considering letting your daughter behave like this.

You need to teach her the value of money. You're doing her a disservice by allowing her to behave this entitled.

Maybe get off the cruise ship and see how the rest of the world lives. Most siblings would be happy to get a nice, big, clean bed in a safe...

ADVERTISEMENT

bluefurniture − My adult girls recently got together for Thanksgiving and stayed at a hotel. The oldest one got her own bed and the younger two shared like they always...

apiratewithadd − This issue again? Make them share beds. YTA

One-Chipmunk3386 − YTA. Its one night, they will survive. Stop being wasteful. Who is the parent here, you or the child?

ADVERTISEMENT

A few shared relatable experiences or questioned the dynamics, reinforcing the husband’s practical stance.

[Reddit User] − Is this the first time your family has ever traveled together? Are the 12 year olds usually in charge of booking accommodations for family vacations?

Sounds like your husband made a reasonable compromise. If your priority is your daughters having separate rooms for “privacy” then fork over the money.

ADVERTISEMENT

Otherwise, they get what he is paying for. We have 4 kids … I can’t imagine ever having this conversation with our kids without laughing. YTA

Odd_Calligrapher_932 − yta better be careful sounds like your raising entitled kids who become adults nobody like.

themixedwonder − sharing a queen size will make them uncomfortable? wtf. . it’s one god damn night. .

ADVERTISEMENT

Beautiful-Report58 − YTA It’s just one night. They need to learn how to navigate life better than making ridiculous demands. You need to stop encouraging this nonsense.

One commenter added a blunt, light-hearted alternative to underscore the overreaction.

divwido − then she can sleep on the floor.

ADVERTISEMENT

The online community predominantly viewed the mother as the asshole for supporting her younger daughters’ refusal to share beds for a single night, seeing it as fostering entitlement on an expensive family vacation. The consensus favors practical compromises and teaching adaptability over prioritizing individual comfort in temporary situations.

Is sharing a bed with a sibling for one night truly uncomfortable enough to warrant extra costs, or a reasonable family compromise? How do you balance children’s growing privacy needs with budget realities during family trips—what rules have worked for your vacations?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *