AITA for being proud that my son has two jobs?

A 54-year-old father began charging his 21-year-old son rent after the young man moved back home post-college while working and planning his wedding, viewing it as a fair lesson in adult responsibility. When he learned his son had quietly taken a second job driving for Uber nights and weekends to cover the rent and save for the wedding, the father felt genuine pride in his son’s work ethic.

What makes the story more complicated is the sharp divide with his wife, who sees the situation as the father unnecessarily pushing their exhausted son to overwork, calling him cold-hearted for refusing to ease up on the rent. The conflict has left the marriage strained, with the wife threatening to cover the rent herself and the father questioning if his stance makes him the asshole.

‘AITA for being proud that my son has two jobs?’

The father implemented rent for his adult son living at home, treating the arrangement like a standard landlord-tenant agreement.

I (M54) decided to start charging my son (M21) rent. He has a job and is planning his wedding, but moved back in after college. So I decided it was...

and I fulfill all the duties a landlord would in exchange. He has not shown any opposition to this despite objecting at first, and since he’s an adult I assumed...

His wife noticed their son withdrawing and discovered he had taken on extensive extra work to meet financial demands.

Two or three weeks ago my wife asked me if I had noticed anything off about him, to which I answered no honestly. She said that he had more or...

She pressed him on the matter and he admitted that he had taken a second job, driving for Uber at night and on weekends, so he could make rent and...

The father expressed pride in his son’s efforts, while his wife reacted with anger and accused him of lacking empathy.

When the wife told me, I was honestly proud. I’ve always kind of seen my son as fiscally irresponsible, but here he was doing what it takes to make ends...

She asked why the hell I was proud to have pushed our son to working nights and weekends to “make ends meet”. She called me cold hearted and a s__iopath,...

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Anyway, she asked if I was going to give him a break from the rent, to which I said no, because why would I? What landlord would sacrifice their own...

She told me that she would start paying his damn rent and stormed off, and she’s been cold and callous to me (ironic) ever since. So I’m wondering I guess,...

This family dispute centers on differing philosophies of parenting adult children—whether charging market-rate rent teaches independence or burdens a transitioning young person unnecessarily. The father’s pride reflects a belief in tough love, seeing his son’s double shifts as proof of growing maturity and resilience in handling real-world finances.

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Critics argue this approach ignores the unique parent-child dynamic, where flexibility and support can prevent burnout, especially during major life events like weddings. Charging high rent (revealed as $1800 monthly in comments) risks prolonging dependency by limiting savings for independent living, while profiting off one’s child can strain emotional bonds.

Broader societal views on “boomerang” kids vary, but many emphasize gradual transitions—reduced rent as a temporary bridge rather than full market rates. Balancing fiscal lessons with compassion helps foster responsibility without resentment, reminding parents that financial income from family should never override well-being and relationships.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The vast majority of users strongly condemned the father, viewing his pride as misplaced and the rent as exploitative.

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[Reddit User] − Yta your son is struggling and you’re proud of that? You are very cold hearted, I can’t imagine the type of parent that puts the money over...

Stunning-Cry-5165 − YTA your son is so exhausted from having to take on 2 jobs. How much are you charging him?

FARTSINAJAR69420 − I had just exhibited emotion in front of her. Exactly what a cold hearted s__iopath would say.

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YTA- seriously, you're happy that YOU and YOU ALONE have created a situation in which your son has to work himself to the bone just to live? Yikes dude. ..

Chemical-Armadillo25 − YTA big time. "What landlord would sacrifice their own income like that? " Clearly you have come to see your son as a paycheck, not a person.

You are so in love with your own extra cash that you can't see your son is struggling, all because his father has a chip on his shoulder about some...

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You aren't teaching him anything. You aren't supporting him either. You're just being an AH to your own kid. And your wife, for that matter

ChiltonGains − YTA. Having to take a second job is nothing anyone should be proud of. You are charging him money,

and have the opportunity to make his life easier, but instead you take pride in knowing that he's k__ling himself so he can pay you money. You are a parasite.

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A few commenters offered balanced perspectives, questioning the rent amount while emphasizing family support over strict landlord rules.

SaorsaAgusDochas − $1800 could get him a whole ass private 1 bedroom apartment with a private bathroom and balcony in the 3rd largest city in America, and a pretty nice...

Who tf tries to make money off of their own children? !?! And is proud about it? !?! Someone devoid of empathy and kindness.

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You didn’t even notice he was withdrawn and exhausted. Like a s__iopath. YTA for making your kids life harder than it needs to be. For no f__king reason other than...

As a parent I can’t stand parents like you. And you’re not proud of his fiscal responsibility, you’re proud because you’ve got him manipulated into thinking this a fair deal...

pippi2424 − YTA. Your wife is right. Besides, now that you live with a tenant, you get the landlord's treatment.

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[Reddit User] − YTA. Your proud your son has to work two jobs because of the arbitrary obstacles you put on him. Why don’t you use that money for his...

Two users added sharp, light-hearted jabs to underscore the perceived lack of empathy in the situation.

RavenRainbows − You're not his landlord, you're his father. As such, you have the ability to be lenient with him and help him when he's struggling.

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Instead, you're pretending you're teaching him fiscal responsibility but you're actually just keeping him stuck and dependent on you.

He's either going to burn himself out and not be able to maintain the two jobs required to cover all his expenses or he's going to be stuck in two...

All because his father wants to prove something. YTA Edit: according to a comment, OP is charging $1800 a month.

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SigSauerPower320 − YTA I'm completely changing my mind based on updates. 1800 bucks a month isn't a deal, I don't care where you live.

The social network community overwhelmingly deemed the father the asshole for prioritizing rent collection over his son’s well-being, seeing his pride as evidence of detachment rather than effective parenting. The situation highlights the delicate shift from raising children to supporting emerging adults without exploiting the temporary living arrangement.

Should parents charge adult children living at home market-rate rent to teach responsibility, or offer reduced rates as a launchpad to independence? Have you experienced or witnessed conflicts over “failure to launch” kids and family finances—what approaches strengthened relationships in the long run?

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