AITAH for not paying back neighbor daughter’s money that my kids spent and letting them read her diary?

Discovering hidden treasure in a new home sounds like a childhood dream. One family let their kids keep items found in their recently purchased abandoned property. Months later, a neighbor revealed it belonged to his young daughter. Returning parts of it sparked outrage over privacy and lost savings. The parents refused to repay the money spent.

Online views split between legal rights and moral kindness. Many backed the finders-keepers rule. Others urged compassion for a child’s hard-saved cash. The debate exposes tension between property laws and neighborly empathy in unexpected finds.

‘AITAH for not paying back neighbor daughter’s money that my kids spent and letting them read her diary?’

The family explored their new abandoned property during planning stages.

We just bought a property that had been abandoned. We visited the place a few times before we had it totally renovated to get an idea of what we wanted...

During those visits we brought our kids and they would explore while we were looking at things. While they were exploring they found a hidden stash of “treasure” hidden.

We assumed must have been left by the previous owners kid. It had little knick knacks and toys that a kid might collect. There was also a diary that was...

My wife and decided to let them keep the treasure they found. They were excited about it. It’s not like we had any chance of returning it to the owner...

We weren’t around much at the house while renovation were happening. They’re done now though so we’ve started moving in.

A neighbor visit revealed the true owner of the items.

We have a distant neighbor that lives on the other side of the wooded area behind our property that came to visit us. He asked if anyone had found the...

I did tell him that my kids had found it several months ago and I think that they threw a lot of it away or had gotten lost by now,...

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True enough my kids didn’t have much of the treasure anymore or didn’t know where it was. My daughter still had the diary because it was a fancy one she...

I was able to get her to agree to give it back as long as she could rip out her pages first. My wife did rip them out very carefully,...

There were still the original pages the neighbor girl had written so I thought I might as well offer that back. It was not well received though because it was...

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Which makes things awkward since there was stuff in there about the neighbor girls crushes. The neighbor’s wife was all up in arms because we let our daughter read her...

My wife had skimmed through the thing when it was first found and there was nothing too scandalous in there for a kid to read so we didn’t see a...

The neighbors said it was obvious it was a problem since we had ripped out our daughter’s pages so she could keep her entries private.

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I do think it’s a little different though because we had originally thought it was an old diary of someone long gone and people read old diaries all the time.

The money was another issue because it was apparently money that the neighbors daughter had been saving up from birthdays and Christmas and chores for years. So they want us...

Honestly I don’t feel like we should have to pay them back the money. It isn’t an insignificant amount of money and when we bought the house everything inside became...

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The post wrapped up with a final note from OP.

Edit. Basically all the new comments coming in have been repeats for awhile now, so I think I got as good of an outlook from both sides as I’m going...

The dispute mixes legal ownership with ethical considerations around children. The buyers gained title to abandoned items upon purchase. Allowing kids to keep and use them seemed reasonable at first. Returning altered property strained relations. Privacy violation and lost savings fueled anger.

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Parents saw no harm in an apparently old diary. Neighbors viewed it as invasion regardless of intent. Money represented years of child effort. Refusal cites law while ignoring emotional impact.

Child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham notes that “teaching empathy involves considering how actions affect others’ feelings, even unintentionally.” (Markham, 2018) This fits the diary comments and spent savings. Legal rights hold, yet kindness often builds community.

Practical steps include honest discussion with neighbors. Offering partial reimbursement as goodwill fosters peace. Teaching kids about privacy and found items prevents repeats. Balancing rules with compassion strengthens relationships long-term.

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Social media responses divided between strict property rights and calls for kindness. Many defended the legal stance while criticizing neighbor parenting. Others pushed for reimbursing a child’s savings. Comments blended law, empathy, and suspicion.

Several users supported no obligation but noted underlying concerns:

JuliaX1984 − As a kid, I never would have felt safe leaving money in an abandoned house. Anybody could have found it.

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Petefriend86 − NTA. My dad used to clean houses for my grandpa between buying/selling, and that stuff is what we in the business call "loot. " If you leave something...

SnarkyBeanBroth − NTA. However, it might be worth wondering why that girl felt she needed to keep her diary and her money somewhere other than her own home.

I am not arguing that you are legally or morally wrong here, I'm just pointing out that it possibly says something about her home situation that her "safe space" was...

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Yes, it could just be a kid being a derp. If my kid had made such a derp decision, I'd be glad to get the diary back (and use that...

A kid who hides her money because her sibling/uncle/parent "borrows" it. The parents are really trying to make this a you problem, and that makes me wonder how likely scenario...

midwest73 − NTA - So they let their daughter trespass into a house before you legally bought it and used it for her stash. Nevermind the fact that no action...

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Only after all is said and done and you're moving in are they suddenly concerned. I don't know what's worse, the parents entitlement after no action and demanding repayment or...

Others emphasized legal ownership and trespass issues:

APartyInMyPants − Like, did you tell the neighbors that maybe it’s a bad idea for their daughter to go wandering around an abandoned property and house? ? Where was this...

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In the house or on the exterior property? You’re NTA, but I also empathize with the neighbor’s daughter.

But, like, the house had been abandoned for a decade, you’ve been renovating and in and out of the house for months. How were you to know it was the...

RevolutionaryDiet686 − NTA As soon as you close on a property the contents belong to you. The only time that changes is if their is an agreement before closing that...

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A few urged goodwill despite rights:

WolfOffSesameStreet − NTA. you have no obligation to return the money. But I would give her money back considering it's a child's money she spent her whole life saving up.

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I can't imagine how devastating losing everything is to a little child. If I were that child I would consider you and your family AH's for the rest of my...

cab2013 − This is a kid. It is $370 in change. Odds are it took her forever to save that up. I get that it became your house but before...

Lyly11559 − You don’t have to return it, but it if you want good relationship with neighbours and their daughter - it would be nice gesture.

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[Reddit User] − I would have returned the money to the kid since you knew how much it was. The law is with you. Innate goodness…not so much.

Abandoned property legally transfers to new owners. This family followed that rule with found items. Returning a read-and-commented diary plus refusing lost savings created neighbor conflict. The core lesson balances rights with decency. Laws protect possessions. Empathy often smooths community ties, especially involving kids.

Would you repay a child’s hidden savings as goodwill, or stand firm on ownership? How much does neighbor peace factor into decisions like this?

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