AITA for buying myself an Xbox when my bf said he got me one for my birthday last year?

Waiting for a birthday gift is usually exciting, but for one woman, it slowly turned into a year-long source of frustration and doubt. Her boyfriend told her he had bought her an Xbox for her birthday last June, something she genuinely looked forward to after years of using an older console. Months passed, visits came and went, yet the Xbox never appeared, only explanations that felt increasingly thin.

As her next birthday approached, the situation took another turn. Tired of waiting and unsure whether the gift even existed, she bought the Xbox herself. What followed was anger, accusations, and a heated argument that left her questioning the relationship itself. When she shared her story on social media, thousands weighed in, and their reactions helped push her toward a final decision that surprised no one.

AITA for buying myself an Xbox when my bf said he got me one for my birthday last year?

The situation started with a birthday promise that instantly raised expectations and excitement.

My bf(20yo) and I(24yo) have been dating for about a year and a half now. We’re long distance and he’s been out here to visit me about four times, for...

Last year on my birthday(in June), he had told me he got me an Xbox. I was really excited because I’ve had mine since 2016.

We met for the first time last October. He didn’t bring it with him that time. No big deal. He only had a small bag that time.

Months passed, visits happened, but the promised gift remained mysteriously absent.

Fast forward to December, he came out for Christmas. He bought a bigger bag, and even asked if he could bring his PS5 so we could play games together and...

After Christmas he went home, and I asked about the Xbox. Whenever I asked him he got frustrated and said I was nagging him about it but he’ll just send...

A few weeks go by, and nothing. So I ask him again, and he gets really upset again. He said it was in a box under his bed and he...

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It got to the point where I just said that it didn’t matter whether or not he bought it I just wanted to know.

Tension escalated as doubts formed and proof only raised more suspicion.

We go into a huge fight about it again, and I told him I wanted proof that he actually had it. He sent me a picture of the box.

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I was suspicious about it because he had mentioned to me before that his best friend had the same Xbox I wanted.

So in my head I was thinking that he had just taken a picture of his friends old Xbox box. But I promised him I’d let it go after he...

That was sometime in January. My birthday is coming up again, and we were on the phone and he was talking about things to get me.

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For his birthday I had gotten him a game and a vinyl wrap for his PS5, so I had told him a wrap for the Xbox would be cool(my way...

After nearly a year of waiting, she made a decision for herself.

I promised him I wouldn’t bring it up again, but.. it’s been almost a year. He’s coming out for my birthday, so I thought maybe he’d bring it.

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We were texting about my gift the other day and he had mentioned he needed to buy what he was getting me. So to me, it sounded like he wasn’t...

I’ve been wanting this Xbox for so long, and I was sick of waiting so I went looking on eBay and bought one. It’s coming this weekend, so I had...

I told him not to be mad, but I bought myself the Xbox. I tried to explain my reasoning and that I didn’t want to wait anymore because my Xbox...

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But he got so mad at me and just said “that was a f***ing waste of $500” so I offered to pay him back for it and he said he...

Now he’s really upset with me and it has me questioning if it was messed up that I ended up buying the Xbox for myself.

TL;DR. My boyfriend told me he bought me an Xbox for my birthday last year in June, he never brought it. I bought it for myself and now he’s pissed...

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His explanation, apology, and aftermath only deepened her internal conflict.

UPDATE: He ended up sending a long text this morning about how pissed he was and that it was stupid that I bought it for myself.

He was going to bring it, the only reason he didn’t tell me was because it was supposed to be a surprise for my birthday.

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He said he’s pissed because he bought more accessories for the Xbox too, so he’s spent well over $600, but now that I bought one for myself I should keep...

I told him that he should’ve just sent it in the first place and it wouldn’t have got to the point where I had to buy it myself.

I also explained that I didn’t need expensive gifts and that if he didn’t get it for me and just wanted to impress me, he should’ve told me when I...

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He explained the reason everything was so expensive was because I liked gaming and legos (which are expensive) so it wasn’t to impress me.

He apologized because he made me so upset about it for so long, and that he didn’t think about it because it was under his bed.

I told him I felt like he never listened or cared about it because I had “nagged” him multiple times about sending it but he somehow still forgot.

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He apologized for being lazy and making it seem like he didn’t care about it, how he should’ve brought it in the first place, and that he was wrong for...

I’m even more conflicted at this point, maybe I should’ve just waited for my birthday but it genuinely sounded like he wasn’t going to bring it.

At the heart of this situation is not a gaming console, but trust. The poster waited nearly a year for something she was told existed, repeatedly asking for clarity. Each time she did, her concerns were brushed off as nagging. Over time, this dynamic can wear down anyone’s sense of security in a relationship.

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From the boyfriend’s perspective, he later claimed the gift was meant as a surprise and that he had spent even more money on accessories. Still, surprises lose their charm when they cause prolonged stress. A healthy surprise usually builds excitement, not doubt or arguments that repeat for months.

According to Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, “Trust is built in very small moments, where partners choose to turn toward each other rather than away.” Repeatedly avoiding questions or reacting with anger sends the opposite message. Even if the Xbox did exist, the lack of follow-through damaged trust long before the purchase she made herself.

A more constructive approach could have been simple honesty early on. Clear communication, setting expectations, and addressing delays openly would have prevented resentment. Instead, the situation escalated until buying the Xbox became an act of self-preservation. In that light, her decision wasn’t about impatience, but about regaining control after months of uncertainty.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many users immediately sided with the poster, convinced the Xbox never existed at all…

Agreeable_Pumpkin_37 − NTA, that “XBox doesn’t exist” he just wanted brownie points without making the brownie. Also him getting mad over it every time is kinda a red flag so...

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NCKALA − NTA. OP wrote '. .. so I offered to pay him back for it . .." NO NO NO, you are paying him back for what? For something...

Anxious-Routine-5526 − NTA. He *never* bought the Xbox and *never* intended to either. He's not upset you wasted $500. He's upset you didn't let it go

and have shown him up by getting what you wanted instead of being strung along indefinitely. He can't pretend he got you a generous gift anymore. He had a *year*...

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GothPenguin − NTA-I’d be stunned if the Xbox he supposedly bought for you at this point even existed. You did what you needed to do.

Candis__SG − NTA There was never an Xbox. Notice he is mad that you got yourself what you have wanted for over a year but not concerned that he has...

Others shared similar experiences or offered more balanced takes, pointing to immaturity and poor communication…

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UnluckyDimension3765 − NTA. He lied about having it the whole time. My ex has said he had gotten me a perfume for Christmas

And I wanted to exchange gifts cause I had his and it was past Christmas time. I kept asking when we could exchange gifts and he would keep pushing it...

The day of exchanging gifts (2nd week of January) on his snap maps he was at the store getting it. .....I eventually grew tired of his behavior and broke up...

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razzyaurealis − NTA, WHY is he holding on to this supposed Xbox for so long? ?? I know if I actually bought MY SO something, I'd wanna give it ASSAP?...

AND HES had so. many chances to give it to you for Christmas? ? And now two birthdays? ? So he's just letting it sit under his bed? ?

Kyurengo − NTA That's absurd. Waiting more than a year for something that could be sent via mail. Maybe he bought it but kept it, gave it to someone else...

what seems more like it, didnt buy it and just wanted brownie points with you. The fact that he became so defensive or even mad it's telling how inmature he...

Even more when he brought his own ps5. Was he truly expecting that you wouldnt ask? ? I'd reevaluate my relationship with someone so childish.

Now it's about a console. But what would happen in the future with actually important things. Will he keep gashlighting you, being mad and then making himself the victim? ?...

FairyCompetent − He has very obviously been lying. This is why those few years in your early 20s are so important. You started dating this person when they were a...

He is not mature enough for a real relationship right now, and he will not grow in this one. Please break up, because he has lied repeatedly and because he...

A few comments used humor or blunt honesty to underline the issue…

Angela5782 − Nta. ..He lied about console but. .If he would lie about gift for whole year(the gift that he promised

and then gets audacity to be angry at you for buying it yourself(he 100% didn't even buy it)) I can't imagine about what else he is actively lying to you.

. If I was you I probably would think if I would want to be in relationship like that. .. Red flags are really screaming 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Arrowflightp90lady − Nta He never bought it, he's a narcissist and wanted the attention of buying you a nice gift without actually buying it. That would be a deal breaker...

CrabbiestAsp − NTA. I don't like to assume s__t, but if he really did buy you an Xbox and was so concerned about wasting $500, he would've given it to...

[Reddit User] − He needs to be your ex boyfriend. He’s a pathological liar and a gaslighter. NTA

MaggieLuisa − NTA. If he did buy you one, he wasted his own money, it’s no good to you sitting under his bed.

pleasedontrefertome − NTA he never bought it. He wanted to impress you, but ended up making himself look like a fool instead.

In the end, this story wasn’t about an Xbox, but about trust, follow-through, and respect. Waiting nearly a year for a promised gift, only to be met with anger and excuses, would test any relationship. After reflecting on the situation and hearing outside perspectives, the poster chose to walk away. Do you think buying the Xbox herself crossed a line, or was it the final step toward clarity after months of mixed signals?

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