AITAH for telling my sister and her stepmom not to come over?

A new parent with a colicky newborn drew a firm line when family visitors ran hours late, refusing to sacrifice precious sleep for their convenience. The original poster, exhausted from caring for a reflux-prone baby, had agreed to a visit between 5:30 and 6:30 PM, only to learn at 7:35 PM that the sister and stepmom were still tied up elsewhere and planned to drop by much later via Uber.

What makes the story more complicated is the stepmom’s accusation of unreasonableness, clashing with the poster’s need to protect their fragile routine. With barely any rest already, the idea of staying up to entertain disrespectful guests felt like an unfair burden, leading to a boundary-setting edit where the poster thanked supporters and offered a future visit during school break.

‘AITAH for telling my sister and her stepmom not to come over?’

The visit was planned for late afternoon, but plans quickly unraveled as evening approached.

They were supposed to come over around 5:30-6:30pm.... It is now 7:35 and I texted my sister to see if theybwere still coming.

My sister said that they arrived at the other thing they were doing beforehand 2 hours late.... and should be leaving in about an hour or two...they'd get here by...

The poster’s hesitation grew amid newborn challenges, making the delay feel especially burdensome.

I was already iffy about them coming at 6:30, as i have a newborn and shes colicky with reflux.....Her stepmom says I'm being unreasonable.... But I have a newborn at...

Support from others helped reinforce the decision, leading to a polite alternative offer.

edit: thank you everyone... I sometimes have trouble asserting myself. I did hold my boundaries and offered my sister to stay sometime when school is out

New parents face immense pressure when family dynamics collide with infant care demands, turning simple visits into potential flashpoints. In this case, the poster’s refusal stems from chronic sleep deprivation—a common issue with colicky babies that can lead to heightened irritability and health risks if ignored. Opposing views, like the stepmom’s claim of unreasonableness, often prioritize social obligations over the realities of early parenthood, assuming flexibility that simply doesn’t exist when routines revolve around feedings and fleeting rest windows.

What makes the story more complicated is the layered family ties, with a stepsister involved, which can amplify guilt or expectations of accommodation. Yet the poster’s stance highlights a broader social shift toward recognizing parental limits, especially for mothers navigating reflux and colic without adequate support. Critics might argue that one-off delays deserve grace in blended families, but this ignores how repeated disrespect erodes trust and self-care.

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As child psychologist Dr. Laura Markham notes in her book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, “Setting boundaries with loved ones isn’t selfish; it’s modeling self-respect for your child.” This perspective underscores the long-term benefits of the poster’s choice, fostering healthier relationships by prioritizing immediate needs over fleeting visits.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many users rallied behind the poster, stressing how the late arrival disregarded the exhaustion of new parenthood.

Alive-Surround1280 − Nta, 100%. It's rude and disrespectful regardless of having a newborn.

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[Reddit User] − NTA- you have a newborn and your sleep schedule is more important than them visiting.

Foreign-Hope-2569 − When you are 2+ hours late, you need to offer to cancel. Text and say it no longer works for you and you will see them next time....

Bougiwougibugleboi − 2 hours plus late in the evening? “Sorry sis, the door is closed. We will do it another night. We are going down to bed at 9. Oh?...

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Queen_of_Meh1987 − NTA. If they can't let you know they're running late, that's on them.

A few commenters offered nuance, acknowledging family efforts while validating the need for clear communication.

curiousity60 − NTA They're not late for their visit. They missed it. They stood you up for a different destination/event. They overbooked their day. Your house isn't a 24 hour...

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RandomReddit9791 − NTA. They should've notified you that they were running late. It's exceptionally rude not to let you know that when you were waiting on them to arrive.

Others injected humor to lighten the mood, poking fun at the absurdity without piling on blame.

OliveGardenofRoses − Nta. I had someone text me 45 minutes after they said they’d be there when my colic daughter was first born talking about they were on their way...

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People think you just sit there with a newborn waiting for company instead of realizing that often times even offering them to join you is a favor to them.

Careless-Ability-748 − Nta they're being rude

Ok_Stable7501 − Uhh. I hate it when people do this. Nta

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The situation boiled down to a exhausted parent protecting their sleep amid a colicky newborn’s demands, ultimately holding firm against a significantly delayed family visit despite pushback. By offering a future alternative, the poster balanced boundaries with ongoing relationships, earning widespread approval for prioritizing well-being.

How do you handle flaky visitors when life gets overwhelming—do you bend or stand your ground? Share your own stories of setting limits with family during tough times.

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