AITA for Cancelling a Trip and Now Being Pressured to Pay for the Airbnb?

A Reddit user recently opened up about a group trip that turned into a months-long ordeal of harassment, hostility, and unexpected financial demands. What began as a simple disagreement over doing a favor for a friend quickly spiraled into public humiliation, social tension, and even threats. The poster had originally agreed to join a shared Airbnb trip, booking flights and planning everything in good faith.

But after a heated fallout with one of the group members — who began behaving aggressively and spreading negativity — the user decided to back out before the trip took place, losing money on non-refundable flights. Months later, the same people started demanding that he still pay his share of the Airbnb, despite never going. The situation left the poster questioning who was really in the wrong.

'AITA for Cancelling a Trip and Now Being Pressured to Pay for the Airbnb?'

The trip started as a standard group getaway but quickly became tense due to one friend’s demands.

Earlier in the year a friend (or ex-friend now) wanted to go on a group trip with a shared Airbnb. A few people said they wanted to come but didn't...

and one guy booked an Airbnb with 3 double beds/6 people, with cancellation up to a certain date (About a week in advance I think). Then I booked my flight,...

The conflict began when the poster refused a request for unpaid work, leading to public humiliation.

All was well, until one evening my friend asked me to take a picture of him the next morning for his agency for a big modelling job, a bit of...

and made a compromise to do it in the afternoon when I leave for work. The next morning he texted me that he was really pissed off about that, and...

Things escalated at a public event, intensifying the poster’s discomfort and concern.

A few days later, I enter an event run by one of my clients. As I walk in, he calls out "f__k off, get the f__k out of here, you're...

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I went back to find him, and he was angrily explaining to someone how I "didn't get the headshot for him despite all that he'd done for me" and didn't...

Attempts to resolve the conflict before the trip proved unsuccessful.

I told someone that I'm going on this trip in a couple weeks but that we'd obviously had a falling out, he said that's the sort of thing you need...

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So, the next day I tried to call him, no answer, asked when a good time was to call and he said "maybe tomorrow." Next day I call him, no...

Ultimately, the poster canceled flights but faced ongoing harassment months later.

A bit of back and forth which went nowhere, a bit of discussing with other people who said he's being ridiculous. Additionally nothing was being planned for the second week...

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I decided to tell them in the group chat I'm cancelling my flights (At a cost of £200) a few days prior to the Airbnb cancellation date, then left the...

only one person reached out to ask what was up (As if she didn't already know) but didn't mention anything about the Airbnb costs. I left it a few more...

After the trip, harassment continued, and demands for payment emerged.

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They go on the trip, everybody asked me what had happened, and everybody sided with me on it - you can't get angry because someone won't do unpaid work for...

I thought the trip would have lightened him up and he would come back with an apology. Nope, he still had it in him. We didn't interact but a whole...

This has been going on since early May! It's this constant "have you made up with him?" over and over. Every now and then he'll mention that I "still owe...

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he's gone from asking me to apologise to now asking me to pay for the Airbnb. Sometimes I'll walk into the bar we frequent and he'll say "f__k off" under...

Now the guy who booked it is in my Instagram DMs saying "would appreciate it if you could pay" I told him I could call him the next day to...

A couple days later "please pay for this. if we meet again [at the bar] it'll get hostile. pay for it and let's move on." Personally I think I did...

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I think they should have come to me before the trip to sort this out, not 4 months later. I take the "it'll get hostile" as a threat, and I...

He keeps texting me and I haven't responded, because I'm not sure what to say and he's being really forceful as opposed to debating it.

Navigating toxic dynamics in friendships can be more complicated than it seems. Experts in social behavior note that situations like this one highlight the importance of establishing boundaries and protecting oneself from harassment. Conflict over money or obligations, particularly when combined with ongoing hostility, can create unnecessary stress and strain mental health.

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Dr. Melissa Hall, a psychologist specializing in interpersonal relationships, explains: “When someone uses intimidation or repeated threats to enforce an expectation, it becomes a form of coercion. The person being targeted is not morally obligated to comply with demands, especially if they were transparent and reasonable in their initial decisions.” This scenario demonstrates that cancelling a commitment under legitimate personal reasons does not automatically translate to financial liability, especially when notice was given in advance.

Opposing views sometimes emerge in group travel scenarios. Some argue that canceling trips may financially impact others and therefore create moral responsibility. However, experts stress the distinction between consequences of one’s choices and coercion by aggressive peers. The poster clearly informed the group and canceled within the Airbnb’s stipulated window, mitigating any genuine financial obligation.

Beyond that, the persistence of harassment months after the event can escalate from social friction to emotional abuse. Dr. Hall emphasizes the importance of documenting threats and seeking legal guidance if hostility becomes physical or overtly threatening. In this case, advice includes blocking abusive contacts and reporting threats to authorities, which protects both personal safety and financial integrity.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Many users supported the poster, praising their clarity and calm approach despite harassment.

No-Research3622 − “You had plenty of time to discuss the cost with me before the trip. I gave you enough time to cancel when I said I wasn’t coming, and...

That’s on you three to decide how it gets paid. I’ve already been harassed for months over a nonissue, and I will not continue this discussion as well. Maybe you...

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ForwardPlenty − Your friend is a controlling a__hole. Life is too short to have toxic people in your life. It sucks that someone else had to eat the cost of...

but in truty your toxic a__hole friend is the one who is responsible for you not going on the trip, and you gave plenty of notice. But it sounds like...

knight9665 − why are you friends????

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SnooWords4839 − Block this person! You canceled and didn't use the Airbnb, those that went need to pay, not you.

CoppertopTX − Tell the pair of them to p__s off. Send a screenshot of the group chat, with date and time, of where you stated prior to the "drop dead"...

Advise them if they want money from you, they can sue you. .. because there's not a court in the universe that would make one pay for a service they...

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Others offered advice on protecting personal safety and boundaries.

Equal-Brilliant2640 − Time to find new friends and a new bar to hang out at As for the AirBnB tell the guy “I have you plenty of notice I was...

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You should go harass him for the extra money. He’s the reason I dropped out” And then block everyone And maybe a fb post blasting everyone wouldn’t be a bad...

Quiet-Hamster6509 − " I cancelled my position at the air bnb within the cancellation period. You all chose to continue to go and therefore accepted the air bnb cost to...

Threaten me again and I will take all the threats and evidence to the police and file a restraining order. " YNW if they are models and they do act...

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Traditional_Curve401 − Blast this on FB and make a very public display to clear your name. No you don't owe money for a trip you canceled on in advance. Those...

ConvivialKat − As I walk in, he calls out "f__k off, get the f__k out of here, you're in trouble" Your "friend" seems to have had no problem at all...

I have no idea why people refer to people who treat them like crap as "friends" or bend over backwards to maintain any kind of contact. This person is a...

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Snowybird60 − You're not wrong. Ask him who's paying you back the £200 you're out because you had to cancel your flight.

Finally, some commenters emphasized accountability and standing up to bullying.

Lisa_Knows_Best − You don't owe them s__t. You should honestly send both of those guys a bill for the cancelation fees and ask who's paying you back.

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No-Gene-4508 − Tell the dude to back off before he gets the cops called on him for threats and being hostile.

Effective-Award-8898 − Copy the group chat details, tell the i__ot you canceled within the time he could have canceled if he didn’t have enough people to cover it. Then block...

I’m guessing they think you a doormat. You have two choices with bullies. Stand up to them toe to toe or stay away from them. If you take the abuse...

Sugarpuff_Karma − Respond & say -im not paying, I cancelled in advance, you had time to cancel the booking but chose to go ahead with it, whoever chose to go...

Muted-Explanation-49 − Not wrong Don't pay and anyone that ask blast him

This situation highlights the importance of clear communication, timely decisions, and setting boundaries with friends. Cancelling a trip due to harassment is not only reasonable but often necessary to protect emotional well-being. The poster acted responsibly by notifying the group ahead of time and cancelling within the Airbnb’s allowed window.

Readers are encouraged to consider: How do you navigate financial responsibilities when social dynamics go wrong? How do you protect yourself from long-term harassment? Has anyone else experienced being unfairly pressured to pay for a service they never used? Sharing these experiences can provide insight, validation, and strategies for standing up to toxic behavior.

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