My (30M) best man (31M) stole my wife (30F) and I think he’s back to take my girlfriend (29F).

Six years ago, a man’s best friend betrayed him in the worst way possible: by starting a relationship with his wife while he was still legally married but separated. The situation, involving a tightly-knit friend group, created layers of hurt, resentment, and complicated social dynamics that continued to affect him years later. Now, he faces a new dilemma—his current girlfriend has reconnected with that same friend, who once played a disastrous role in his marriage.

This story highlights the lasting impact of past betrayals on present relationships. The man is torn between his desire to propose to his girlfriend and his fear that history could repeat itself. The tangled web of loyalty, trust, and old wounds leaves him questioning his next move and how to protect his emotional well-being.

'My (30M) best man (31M) stole my wife (30F) and I think he’s back to take my girlfriend (29F).'

A best friend’s betrayal turned a close-knit marriage upside down, shattering trust and friendships in the process

Six years ago I (30M) was getting married. My best friend (31M) Judas, fake names to protect identities, was my best man. I was getting married to Leah (30F). Our...

there were 8/9 of us, and we always did everything together, days out, game nights, holidays etc. anytime a friend would bring another female friend into the group Judas would...

as he was genuinely just naturally very funny and charismatic, which is a big part as to why he’s everyone’s best man, but he was never a threat to our...

Strains on the marriage created tension as limited time together and different priorities pulled the couple apart

Just over a year into our marriage, Leah and I start having issues, I’m in the army so I’m at camp through the week, returning home Friday evenings and leaving...

and she’d mostly want alone time, just the two of us, as she will have seen the group through the week. This amongst other things caused a lot of arguments...

A shocking event on a friend’s canceled wedding exposed Judas’ manipulative side, further complicating the social circle

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While all this was going on two of our friends; Judas’ cousin Andrew (29M), and his fiancé Phoebe (29F), were a three days away from their wedding day (Judas of...

when Andrew confessed to Phoebe that he had been cheating on her with a coworker for 6 months, so could not go ahead with the wedding. On what would have...

(Worst best man ever). Those two had always been very close to be fair, but we were all very surprised finding out. They apparently drunkenly did it a few more...

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The aftermath of divorce revealed the lasting impact of betrayal and the reshaping of relationships within the friend group

While Leah and I were ‘separated’ I’d still be trying my best to resolve things and work it all out, but she was slowly getting less and less interested in...

They had gotten into a relationship, and he was basically living in the house I was paying half the mortgage for. (Worst best man ever). When I found this out...

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Naturally, Leah and I went through the whole divorce process, and her and Judas were happy in their relationship. Judas, Leah, and Andrew were all out of our little friend...

The resurfacing of Judas now threatens to undermine trust in the narrator’s current relationship, complicating plans for a major life event

Fast forward to now; Phoebe and I have been in a relationship for 3 years now. Leah and Judas have split, she’s now with some other man, and he’s single....

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Judas was his best man, so who knows what’s going to happen down the line with the worst best man, and Andrew’s new wife. Yesterday I wanted to surprise Phoebe,...

I waited for her to go to work and then I came back to decorate the bedroom with flowers, her favourite chocolates etc. I park my car a block away...

I’m 90% sure the face I see is Judas’ but she very quickly ends the call. Early in our relationship she drunkenly confessed to me that she thought her and...

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So my heart sank. She told me it was just her brother on the phone, but I don’t believe her. I had also surprised her with a trip to Disney...

if Judas has managed to worm his way back into her life. I need help, I don’t know what to do. I’ve been at my parents awake all night, and...

Or go ahead with the planned trip and proposal and feign ignorance for a happier life? I’m sorry this is so long, I have left it as short as I...

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TLDR: my worst best man got into a relationship with my wife while we were separated, and ultimately divorced, my current girlfriend confessed to having feelings for that best man...

Navigating relationships with past betrayals requires awareness, communication, and emotional boundaries. Experts suggest that trust must be rebuilt gradually, especially when old dynamics resurface. Dr. Karen Levy, a relationship therapist, notes, “When previous betrayals are involved, any new relationship should be approached with transparency and patience to avoid repeating past patterns”.

It’s important to distinguish between current reality and past trauma. The resurfacing of Judas in this story has triggered anxiety based on historical hurt, but assuming wrongdoing without evidence can strain the current relationship. Open dialogue and verifying facts—like confirming the FaceTime call—can prevent misinterpretation and unnecessary stress.

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Additionally, unresolved resentment toward the past can cloud decision-making in the present. Experts advise evaluating motivations: whether actions like proposing are based on genuine commitment or a desire to secure emotional stability. By addressing the uncertainty and prioritizing honest communication, the individual can make informed choices that protect both his heart and his current relationship.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many users reacted with humor or disbelief at the complicated situation, pointing out the chaotic friend group dynamics.

Admirable-Marsupial6 − Omg. Other ppl exist you guys!!

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Firm_Distribution999 − Your friends are so incestuous my god

captivecreator − What season of Friends did all this happen?

LittleLemonKenndy − Bro wtf come on man none of these people are worth your time. Keep contact with whoever you need to for the time being. And gtfo out those...

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Constant_Humor181 − I mean, you could always have asked to her Facetime call list to see who she was really on a call too. Then you \*know\* who it was...

Other users gave more practical advice about confronting or verifying facts.

relaxative_666 − Do I confront her on this? Yes. You tell her you swear you saw Judas on the Facetime call and not her brother and you had a bad...

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sonnackrm − This is the most military thing ever.

lordmwahaha − Not to be that guy- but tbh you treated your wife pretty poorly from your description. You literally never wanted to spend 1:1 time with her

and then you were shocked she would rather move on than work things out on YOUR timeline (because ig everything had to be your way). You sound like an awful...

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Unepetiteveggie − Friendship group i__est is always always messy. Why did you start a relationship with someone who nearly married your friend and then dated another of your friends (only...

Did you try dating outside of this group? You're in the military, don't you have friends there? I don't think you should propose and marry someone linked so closely to...

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Only_Tip9560 − I'd can the idea of a proposal for now. Personally I think you need a fresh start away from all this drama and without a woman who is...

Some commenters emphasized personal responsibility and reflection on the past.

West-Kaleidoscope129 − Somebody can only be taken from their partner if they want to be taken. But dude, you got with Pheobe. .. And dude, you ruined your own marriage...

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Did you think she would just be your bangmaid forever? ... Do you all live in a small village where there aren't any other people around to date/marry?

ShinyArtist − So you neglected your wife to the point you’re separated but somehow believe Judas stole her away because you still wanted to work on the marriage? Have you...

And then by that logic, you also stole your friend’s gf/ex? Andrew probably sees you worse than Judas. What happened with your wife was purely your own fault, she was...

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and Andrew probably also knows Judas wasn’t at fault. Though Judas is a bad friend for going after a friend’s ex, he didn’t destroy your marriage, you did that yourself....

You don’t have regrets when you’re with the right person, because everything that has happened or not happened has led you to be with the right person.

Plus, you also got with her when she was in her most vulnerable time so more than likely you both are using each other as some sort of rebound person...

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buckeyevol28 − Y’all sound like a bunch of losers who seem to think you’re shipwrecked on an island and can only h__kup/date/marry one another.

yrrrrrrrr − Eventually he’ll take you

HyperDsloth − Judas didn't ruin your marriage though. You did that all by yourselves. Him comming back into her life, is something you need to discuss with her. Let her...

This story illustrates the lasting consequences of past betrayals and the importance of communication and trust in new relationships. The resurfacing of a figure tied to previous trauma can create anxiety and doubts, but addressing these concerns openly can help clarify reality versus fear.

Readers are encouraged to consider their own experiences: How would you handle a partner reconnecting with someone from a painful past? Is it possible to fully separate old dynamics from a current healthy relationship? Share your thoughts and strategies in the comments to explore ways to navigate complicated emotional histories.

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