AITA for dropping off my friend’s dog at a doggy daycare when I was supposed to be watching him?

What happens when a simple favor turns into a nightmare of unexpected messes and midnight howls? A young woman agreed to watch her friend’s dog for two weeks, expecting a well-behaved companion based on glowing descriptions.

Reality hit hard with accidents on the floor, a stressed-out cat, and endless barking. She confronted her friend, then opted for a daycare solution. The friend felt betrayed and questioned future trust. This clash highlights how mismatched expectations can strain friendships fast.

‘AITA for dropping off my friend’s dog at a doggy daycare when I was supposed to be watching him?’

The story starts with a request from a close friend during a tough time.

My friend (25F) asked me(24F) if I could watch her dog, Cody, for a two weeks while she went back to her home state to deal with some family issues....

Early visits to the friend’s home showed the dog in a positive light, leading to an agreement.

I had been to her house a few times, and, at least during the times I've been there, he's usually a sweetheart. I said yes, and when it came time...

Issues surfaced right away with house training claims.

First thing I realized is that Cody wasn't as house trained as she claimed. Maybe he knew it was wrong to pee in his house, but he clearly thought it...

It happened on the first day, and when I told her, she said she had let him outside rather than walking him like she usually would, so maybe he had...

The accidents continued despite efforts to manage them.

It had been on the vinyl wood floor and I caught it immediately, so I just let it slide, cleaned it up, and took him for a walk right after....

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Interactions with the cat created additional tension.

Second thing I realized is that, yes, he's friendly with other animals, but that doesn't mean good with other animals. Tawny had no problem with him when he was calm,...

Restrictions were imposed to protect the cat, but new problems arose at night.

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I ended up banishing him from the upstairs. But that led to another problem: Cody hated to be alone at night. He absolutely hated it, and made sure everyone knew...

A direct conversation escalated the situation.

I finally ended up calling my friend and telling her that her dog isn't as well-behaved as she claimed, and that she needed to tell me another friend of her's...

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or that I was just going to end up sticking him in a doggy daycare that she'd either have to pay for or pay me back for.

defenses and outcomes followed the decision.

She got upset and asked why I had agreed to dog sit if I was just going to dump him, but I agreed to dog sit a dog who was...

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She couldn't find someone she could trust to take care of Cody, so I found a non-expensive but still decently reviewed doggy daycare to drop him off at. She said...

but that she was really cross with me and wasn't sure if she could depend on me for things anymore. I felt totally justified originally,

but the more I thought about it, the more I realized realized I could totally understand why she'd be upset that I essentially went back on my word and also...

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Extra details addressed common questions.

Extra Info based on things I'm seeing commonly asked about and brought up: I know how to care for a dog. Before I moved out of my parent's house, I...

One of the reasons I was convinced she hadn't trained Cody as well as she claimed was because Prince never had accidents no matter where he was once I had...

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The daycare wasn't something I just chose on my own haphazardly. I looked through the places near me and she agreed on one for me to take him to according...

I followed the instructions of Cody's care given to me. 4 walks a day with 4 hour intervals starting at 8 with a last call to the backyard before bed....

I played with him indoors and outdoors and he'd sit with me on the couch during downtime. He didn't really beg for attention during the daytime, and he didn't beg...

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I wouldn't say Tawny is socialized with dogs per say, but Cody isn't the first dog she's been around. She's been around Prince, but we had him trained not to...

so she never had a problem with him. When my friend had told me "good with people and other animals", I had assumed that meant he probably had similar training.

Reflections showed mutual faults.

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Honestly, based on the mixed answers so far, I'll probably end up just splitting the costs with her. It seems both of us didn't think this through during her rush...

I had a standard for what I considered a trained dog to be based off of Prince without considering that not every dog is going to be like Prince,

and she didn't think about how Cody might be in a new environment he's never been before and assumed he'd behave as well as he did at home. A lot...

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The core conflict stems from mismatched descriptions of the dog’s behavior and the stresses of a new environment. The friend needed help during a family crisis and portrayed Cody as fully trained and adaptable. The sitter agreed based on that info but faced repeated accidents, cat conflicts, and noise. Emotions ran high because trust felt broken on both sides. The escalation happened when the sitter chose daycare without full prior alignment, turning a favor into a paid service.

The sitter felt deceived by overstated training claims, fueling frustration over cleanup and pet safety. Her insecurities about her cat’s well-being drove quick boundaries like upstairs bans. The owner likely feared for her dog’s safety in an unfamiliar setup and felt abandoned mid-crisis. Communication broke down early; neither fully discussed potential adjustments in a strange home, leaving empathy gaps on expectations.

Relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson explains that “secure bonds require honest vulnerability about needs and limits from the start” (Hold Me Tight, 2008). This applies directly—the owner downplayed issues, while the sitter reacted without exploring gradual fixes. Emotions overrode joint problem-solving, eroding their reliance on each other.

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To resolve, schedule a calm video call to share specific feelings without blame; say “I felt overwhelmed by the accidents” instead of accusations. Set future boundaries upfront, like trial visits for pets. Reflect nightly on one positive and one challenge during caregiving. Split costs as planned to rebuild equity, then agree on no favors without detailed prep.

See what others had to share with OP:

Social media users weighed in on the dog-sitting drama, splitting sharply over who bore more responsibility for the fallout. Debates centered on pet training realism, favor boundaries, and animal welfare in new spaces.

Many commenters blamed the sitter for lacking preparation and overreacting to standard adjustments.

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sheramom4 − YTA. Your entire list of "bad behaviors" are normal for a dog in a new environment and a cat who is not socialized. Of course he peed in...

It sounds like YOU were not prepared for typical dog behavior and then decided to use a service. She should not pay you back. She is not authorize your use...

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rainwaterkisses − YTA. Not only to your friend, but mostly to your cat. I have a cat, and I would never DREAM of bringing a dog that she doesn't know...

You shouldn't have agreed to this in the first place. Poor Tawny. Dog-sitting is best done in the dog's house, rather than removing the dog from its familiar environment. If...

It's a bad idea from your friend as well, so this is verging on ESH, but I'm leaning towards you being the bigger AH because I feel bad for your...

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Sometimesitsamonkey − ESH I doubt your friend was completely honest about him being potty trained. Though, they do make belly bands that would have been far cheaper than boarding and...

Your cat sounds like a cat setting boundaries. The dog sounds like a normal dog when it’s excited. You don’t say anything about aggression, just lack of boundary. Your cat...

I’m sure he did whine all night. That’s not a misbehaving dog and you set yourself up for this problem. That’s a dog in an unfamiliar situation. You set him...

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I know a lot of people have good experiences. Until they don’t. Like dog parks. They rave about them until the vet bill comes in after a fight. I would...

I would also feel like I can’t depend on you, even if you are partly justified. It doesn’t sound like this dog has behavioral issues other than not completely potty...

The rest of what you describe sounds like a dog. It sounds like you took on something you weren’t ready for and didn’t have much knowledge of. The owner should...

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You don’t say how many days she had to pay for care and that can add up really quickly, nor does it tell me how much time you gave the...

PumpkinPowerful3292 − ESH - This: 'She got upset and asked why I had agreed to dog sit if I was just going to dump him, but I agreed to dog...

You wouldn't have dumped him doggie daycare if he didn't have the problems he did at you place. Normally when you have an animal that needs to stay in a...

you take the time to introduce them into the home with the other people to see how they actually do with the owner there. You two didn't do that. I...

A strong group backed the sitter, emphasizing the owner’s incomplete disclosures and the favor’s limits.

Apart-One4133 − NTA. As a dog owner of 16 years myself (with 2 dogs) it would have been up to me to make sure that my dog would have gotten...

Meaning I would have started going to your place some evening with my dog to make sure all is good. Then I would have left him alone with you a...

To detect any problems sure, but to also prepare my dog so that he knows he’s in a place of trust. There’s no telling how an animal can act without...

(Family issue) and she was in hurry. In that case I wouldn’t have been angry at you for bringing my dog somewhere else if he was behaving badly and putting...

It’s not like you dump the dog in a stranger’s home or the side of the road, you left him in an establishment that dogsit. It’s perfectly fine. Maybe propose...

New-Rooster-4558 − NTA. Lol. All the YTAs as if it wasn’t a favor and the dog was not as trained as the owner led OP to believe. I would have...

Reddit has always been so biased towards dogs but it is ridiculous to expect OP to adjust everything for a dog that pisses and whines and stresses out her cat...

online_enilo − NTA I think you handled everything well under the circumstances. I also think it's wild for people in the comments to claim that it's a reasonable expectation that...

If someone had my (house trained) dog for two weeks and that kept happening I would've asked them to have her checked by a vet, cause that's not normal.

Could be that your friend hasn't socialized the dog enough for this kind of situation and it's unreasonable to expect you to hold your end of the deal when what...

[Reddit User] − NTA dog p__s n__ty. And prioritize your cat. It just didn’t work out. Dog day care took great care of him just as you would have and...

LatinoInfluenza − NTA, The owner was dishonest about the conditions and that’s all that is relevant. If she knew her dog behaves that way in new environments then that’s something...

My dog gets separation anxiety and anytime a friend of mine needs to dogsit or house sit I always recommended they go walk and use the bathroom more frequently.

BoxBeast1961_ − NTA! You didn’t sign up for dog p__s on your floor, cat torment & nightly howling. Just no. Imho it was super nice of you to find a...

Some offered balanced or pointed views, questioning norms or seeking details.

Velinna − Am I going crazy? It’s not normal for a dog to keep peeing indoors after several days if it’s healthy, potty trained, and doesn’t have some sort of...

And if it’s a very anxious dog, OP should have been prepared by the friend, as high anxiety dogs require a lot of special attention. It doesn’t sound like that...

RaineMist − INFO Did you have to fill out any application? Most doggy daycares have certain requirements and since you're not Cody's owner, you wouldn't have any information on him...

When I had my Chihuahua girl borarded, I had to get her the boredetella shot so she could socialize with others.

Scenarioing − The key take away. .. Don't agree to watch someone's dog. Especially in your own home.

IncidentProud8807 − Nta. Your actions are reasonable and make sense to me

chonkosaurusrexx − I'm leaning NTA, mostly because I would never leave someone with my dog with someone for two whole weeks without making sure that they were a good fit.

When my friend had offered to watch my dog next time I went on holiday, I started taking my dog over to her place so she was familiare with the...

She had her own little corner with blankets and a water station, and got comfortable. Then my friend watched her for the day so my dog got used to being...

When I was traveling next time, my dog already felt safe and at home there, and my friend never had any problems at all. If there had been troubles along...

Not even making sure that the cat and the dog got along before leaving him there for two weeks was a risk that might not work out.

I dont think you should have comitted to this without being sure your cat would be good with the dog either, but I ultimately land on it being the dogs...

This tale shows how pet-sitting favors can unravel from unspoken assumptions about training and environment changes. Both parties learned that clear details upfront prevent resentment. The sitter protected her home and cat, while the owner faced unexpected costs. Kindness matters, yet honesty about limits builds stronger bonds. Splitting expenses acknowledges shared oversights.

Have you dealt with a pet favor gone wrong? When helping friends with animals, do you insist on trial runs first, or trust descriptions alone?

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