AITA (30F) For Hiring A Babysitter To Look Over My Kids After My Sister Broke Rules I Set For Her?

A 30-year-old mom, enjoying a couples’ getaway, suddenly hired a babysitter to replace her sister after a surprising incident. She left her two kids (ages 4 and 2) with her sister and brother-in-law, setting strict rules like no church visits or exposure to violent content. Everything seemed fine until she received photos of her kids playing around a bomber plane during a tour arranged by her brother-in-law, an Air Force test pilot.

Feeling her “no violence” rule was broken, she swiftly called in a babysitter to take over. Her sister called the reaction overblown, insisting the kids loved the experience. The online community erupted with opinions, leaving many to wonder: did she go too far in doubting her sister’s judgment?

‘AITA (30F) For Hiring A Babysitter To Look Over My Kids After My Sister Broke Rules I Set For Her?’

It all started when the mom entrusted her kids to her sister with clear guidelines:

I(30F) Have 2 Children (4M , 2F) with my boyfriend(36M). My boyfriend and I are on a couples vacation together. We left our kids with my Sister(26F) and her Husband(27M)...

They have looked after our children before and have been excellent. We have set out rules for them, such as they cannot attend church with them, no violent movies or...

When things seemed to be going smoothly, the mom got a batch of photos from her sister:

Like I’ve said, they have been good about following the rules, but yesterday I asked my sister to send me the photos they had taken of my children thus far....

however the last 12 photos were of my children playing around a bomber plane. For context, my BIL is a test pilot for the Air Force, and flys chase planes...

The sight of her kids near planes shocked and worried the mom:

I got photos of them standing around them, and one photo of my son inside of one. My sister also mentioned via text attached to the photos that my kids...

Convinced her rules were violated, the mom took swift action:

ADVERTISEMENT

To clarify, my sister and BIL have always been instructed to try to make things fun for the kids as long as it fell within our rules. So they don’t...

I however felt this was a pretty clear breakage of the “no violence” rule, and immediately hired a babysitter my neighbor frequently uses to look after them.

Her decision stirred up tension within the family:

ADVERTISEMENT

I told my sister to take my kids back to our house and leave them with the babysitter. She told I was being ridiculous, and it wasn’t a violent experience,...

My kids are still under supervision of the babysitter, and my boyfriend and I are wondering if we should cut our vacation short to take care of our kids. My...

The mom’s concern centers on shielding her kids from anything she deems “violent.” Her “no violence” rule reflects a desire to control their environment, especially at such young ages. However, associating a plane tour with violence may stem from her personal views on the military, while her sister and brother-in-law saw it as an exciting, educational outing. This clash in perspectives fueled the conflict.

ADVERTISEMENT

The plane tour, as described, involved no direct violence—kids simply walked around parked planes and watched a takeoff. Child psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour notes, “Preschoolers are often fascinated by big, powerful things like planes without grasping complex concepts like war” (The New York Times, 2023). For the kids, this was likely just a fun adventure, not a harmful experience. The mom’s reaction, though rooted in care, may have overstated the situation’s impact.

The online community raises a fair point: imposing strict rules on family providing free childcare can create unfair pressure. The sister and brother-in-law went out of their way to make the kids’ stay enjoyable, and the mom’s swift decision to hire a babysitter may have felt like a lack of trust. This risks straining family ties, especially since her sister had been reliable before.

The mom should consider an open conversation with her sister to understand her intentions and clarify her own concerns. If strict rules are non-negotiable, hiring a professional nanny from the start might be wiser than relying on family. Balancing child protection with maintaining family relationships is key to moving forward.

ADVERTISEMENT

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The online community didn’t hold back, diving into the debate with passion and wit:

Many users felt the mom blew the situation out of proportion, calling the plane tour harmless:

Lunatunabella - My husband just popped off to me that if OP thinks touring a plan is violence, then in that line of thinking she should have never left the...

ADVERTISEMENT

professorfunkenpunk - YTA. You sound completely unhinged. I bet the kids had a great time.

Electronic_Fox_6383 - Unless the plane was actively dropping bombs at the time (which is hard to do while parked, lol), I don't see how them touring a plane with a...

I get the connection, but I think you're reaching. You're also teaching the people around you to lie to you in future. If she hadn't shown you the pics, you'd...

ADVERTISEMENT

Jennbunni50 - YTA. Give me a break lady. They weren’t doing anything violent. Your bil is a test pilot. Do you really think they would put your children in danger?...

Some took a humorous yet sharp jab at the mom’s overreaction:

One-Awareness3671 - Oh my goodness, you actually took the time out to type all of this looking for validation. YTA, kudos to your sister and BIL for making the kids...

ADVERTISEMENT

What is so violent about a parked bomber plane? Unless they took the kids to a war zone and your kids were deploying the missiles, I honestly don’t see what...

gooma1960 - Please be fake. If not, you have one of the most serious cases of virtue signaling ever. This is an asinine thing to make into an issue. There...

BroncosGirl7LJD - my boyfriend and I are wondering if we should cut our vacation short to take care of our kids Yes please do and don't ever leave them again...

ADVERTISEMENT

You are the only two who can protect these innocent children from airplanes, on the ground, not moving. You're f__king ridiculous. I truly hope your sister has learned from her...

Serious_Watercress38 - Yup, YTA. If they watch Bambi are you also going to call the babysitter?

Others offered deeper insights, pointing out the fallout of her actions:

ADVERTISEMENT

CreateChrist - Yea. ..you and your husband are waaasy too harsh. .. and if you think your babysitter is going to do a better job. .. it's only a matter...

Your son was learning about being a pilot. ..with an uncle and aunt that went faraway and above a common experience. I suspect jealousy is what made you pull this...

Low-Combination-8363 - If you want to have strict and unusual rules for you kids, hire a nanny. Don’t use family doing you a favor. YTA

ADVERTISEMENT

DELILAHBELLE2605 - You are a huge AH. Wow. You need to chill the f__k out. Your sister is providing you with free childcare while you go off on vacation. She...

Enjoy your last kid free vacation. Bet no one will be lining up to watch your kids again. And boy oh boy are you going to have a rough time...

Some urged the mom to rethink her approach and make amends:

ADVERTISEMENT

Taurus67 - Good lord YTA and ridiculous too! I hope you apologize to your sister

Reddit User - YTA. Grow up. Planes flying isn't violence. And you can't avoid violence in the world, to shelter your children from it (if Power Rangers is too much?...

ADVERTISEMENT

War is humanity, the one thing we're constantly proficient in. To the point in much of Western society it is more acceptable to see violence than a boob, or even...

mustang19671967 - You are a nut job . You leave them with these people who obviously love them , and younsay no church . Ok in general I have no...

Then they are playing by planes . The four year old Doesn’t know a bomber plane . All He sees is the plane wings and sitting inside cockpit how Cool...

ADVERTISEMENT

Khanover7 - YTA. Are you ok? I hope you didn’t travel to your vacation by plane considering the potential for violence.

The mom’s drive to protect her kids from anything she sees as violent is understandable, but her quick move to replace her sister with a babysitter may have hurt family ties. While her intentions were rooted in care, many argue she misjudged the plane tour, which was likely just a fun outing for her kids.

This situation highlights how differing views can spark family tension. Should the mom apologize to her sister and enjoy the rest of her vacation? Or was she right to enforce her boundaries? How would you handle this kind of misunderstanding with family?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *