AITA for kicking out my sister because she got pregnant?

He opened his home to his sister and her three kids when she had nowhere else to go. Fresh out of an abusive relationship, his sister, a single mom, pleaded to stay in their basement for six months to get back on her feet. What started as a kind gesture quickly turned into a burden, as her irresponsibility and demands strained his marriage to the breaking point.

Tensions exploded when she announced she was pregnant again, despite her unstable situation. Her request to stay longer pushed him to a tough choice: ask her to leave. Was he too harsh, or was it the only way to protect his family? This story has sparked heated debates about loyalty, responsibility, and family limits.

‘AITA for kicking out my sister because she got pregnant?’

It all began when his sister faced a desperate situation:

My sister(34F) was in an abusive relationship with her ex. Before that she had another relationship with a guy who left when she got pregnant. She currently doesn’t get any...

My mom was also a single mom and doesn’t have money to spare but would have taken her in. My sister didn’t want to go back to our home town...

I was really close with her growing up but even I have to say she has damaged my marriage with my wife. Initially my wife was understanding but my sister...

His wife tried to help, but his sister didn’t step up:

My wife helped her with resumes and interview prep but my sister didn’t seem motivated to apply for jobs. She had a job at a cafe my wife did all...

and the owner was desperate so they hired her without any experience. She worked there for 2 months and then stopped showing up saying she was sick of the work.

His sister neglected her kids, putting pressure on his wife:

She would forget to pick the 2 eldest children from school and my wife had to do it several times a week. This is when she wasn’t working so she...

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One of the kids fell in the tub and was generally ok except for a bruise but she blamed my wife even though no one knew she was out of...

Things took a shocking turn when his sister revealed she was pregnant:

Then my sister said she was pregnant and asked to stay until the baby came. We were shocked and demanded to know why she’s having another child when she was...

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He made a tough call, leading to a heated fallout:

I told her she needs to leave as this is the end of our 6 month agreement. She was shocked we didn’t agree because she is having a baby and...

I told her it was because of her refusing to work and being irresponsible with her kids and getting pregnant is the final straw. She is moving out to be...

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The 2 older kids is going with our mom as he won’t allow them to stay. I am afraid he will be abusive like her ex and I feel guilty...

This story captures the heart-wrenching clash between family loyalty and personal boundaries. OP tried to help his sister in a desperate moment, but her refusal to take responsibility—from quitting her job to neglecting her kids—pushed his marriage to the brink. Her pregnancy in such an unstable situation only deepened the strain.

Family therapist John Gottman notes, “A strong marriage requires partners to prioritize each other, especially under external stress” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). OP’s sister leaned heavily on his wife, even blaming her for incidents like her child’s fall. This behavior shows not just irresponsibility but a lack of respect for the boundaries of OP’s household, putting his wife in an unfair position.

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The sister’s pattern of poor choices, like quitting her job and getting pregnant while dependent, suggests a deeper issue of relying on others to fix her problems. While her past in an abusive relationship deserves empathy, her lack of effort to rebuild her life made it hard for OP to keep supporting her. Asking her to leave, though painful, was a way to protect his marriage.

OP should focus on repairing his relationship with his wife, who bore the brunt of this ordeal. He could also keep in touch with his sister to ensure her and her kids’ safety, perhaps connecting her with social services or counseling. This balance allows him to care without sacrificing his own family’s stability.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Most agreed OP was right to protect his marriage:

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FAFO-13 - "NTA. And your sister is a piece of s__t. Anyone who puts d__k before their own children isn’t a good parent. Good thing those kids aren’t going with...

Jazzy404404 - "I'm sorry, but this really shouldn't be your issue. She knew what she was doing and thought you guys would just take care of her like last time.

Just because they are family doesn't mean you have to enable her behavior. She decided to have these kids: so she needs to be an adult and take care of...

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Caspian4136 - "NTA You helped her out when she needed it and she took advantage of you guys. She had no intention of finding a job, much less keeping it.

Seems she likes to skate through life by depending on everyone else to do everything for her. She sounds very lazy and entitled, not to mention stupid as she got...

GuvnaBruce - "Even if she had not gotten pregnant, you are NTA for asking her to leave at the 6 months per the agreement. She was already putting all of...

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you would also very likely be raising the new baby for her as well. She was taking advantage of your kindness massively and then made another terrible decision."

Confident-Nature-545 - "Nta. You can't save everyone. You gave it a good try but some people just don't learn and change. Don't let that guilt errode your conscience or your...

Cybermagetx - "Nta. She needs her tubes tied. And I dont care if people get p__s. I feel sorry for her kids. Growing up with her as a mom."

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Bonnm42 - "NTA Your Sister is taken advantage. She also sounds like she is treating your Wife like her own personal servant. I’d threaten to leave too if I was...

Top-Bit85 - "If you let her stay to keep her family together, your wife has told you that your own family would split up. NTA"

RavenclawEC - "NTA! You have been more than a good brother by letting her stay, rent free, for 6 months. .. She is an irresponsable human being and there is...

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ohhellnooooooooo - "NTA, kick her out, change the locks, call CPS, go No Contact for the rest of your life"

Purple-Clerk-8165 - "Your sister should have been gone when she was sneaking out of the house and yelling at your wife for not watching her kids.

Or making your wife pick up her kids from school because your sister is lazy. You need to put your wife first. Your sister just wants to mooch off of...

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bathroomstallghost - "NTA she brought this on herself"

Terra88draco - "NTA You can’t help those who feel entitled and see nothing wrong with their choices. You have to protect your family (your wife and any kids…I don’t remember...

Some expressed concern for the future of the sister’s children:

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Ambroisie_Cy - "I'm more worried with for the third and fourth kids that will be stuck with your sister and her new boyfriend than your sister. If someone doesn't want...

justmeandmycoop - "Report her to CPS as she leaves."

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OP’s decision to ask his sister to leave came from frustration and a need to protect his marriage. His sister, despite her struggles, failed to take responsibility for her life or her kids, and her new pregnancy added more strain. Still, sending her to a potentially risky situation with a new partner leaves OP wrestling with guilt, especially as her family splits apart.

Should OP keep supporting his sister from a distance to protect her kids? Was his choice too harsh given her circumstances? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep this conversation going!

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