AITA for injuring myself before my sisters wedding?

A routine bike ride turned into a family feud when OP (28F) crashed, sustaining bruises and a mild concussion just days before her sister’s wedding. Feeling dizzy, nauseous, and self-conscious about her injuries, OP considered skipping the event—only to face fury from her sister, who accused her of faking it to avoid her friend (OP’s ex).

Her mother piled on, calling her selfish and a liar. Despite a hospital visit confirming her concussion, the angry texts continue, leaving OP torn. Was OP wrong to prioritize her health over her sister’s big day? This story explores the clash between personal well-being and family expectations.

‘AITA for injuring myself before my sisters wedding?’

OP described her close relationship with her sister and the accident:

I (28F) and my sister (26F) have always had great relations. Recently, her fiancé, lets call him Josh, had proposed to her. She invited the entire family and a few...

4 days before the wedding I was cycling around the neighbourhood I live in. i accidentally took a sharp turn and planted face first into the concrete. I bruised my...

She decided not to attend, sparking outrage:

Unfortunately, I thought I shouldn’t go to the wedding. This reached my sister a few hours after I came back home and started treating my scar. And I tell you,...

She also accused me of doing this on purpose just so I wouldn’t have to see her friend (my ex). About 1 hour later I got an entire paragraph from...

OP explained her reasons for staying home:

There we’re 2 main reasons why I couldn’t attend the wedding. 1st, after the crash I felt extremely nauseous and dizzy. 2nd, I could not dare to walk into a...

Family pressure intensified, despite her health concerns:

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During the time I am writing this, it is 3 days before the wedding and I still feel extremely sick. My mother is scolding me for not being able to...

She says that my sister has attended all of my important events, my graduation, my own wedding, etc. I accept that, but getting bombarded by angry messages from my mom...

Update: Hospital visit confirmed a concussion:

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Hey! So here’s an update: Extreme nausea is an overstatement. I got a slight wave of nausea and some dizziness only in the evening. Yesterday, 3 days before the wedding...

I have just came back from the hospital for my overnight stay, since they had to examine me and all that. I’m doing quite good now, but everyone that are...

OP’s story highlights the tension between health concerns and family expectations, compounded by a lack of empathy from her sister and mother. A mild concussion, as confirmed by the ER, can cause dizziness and nausea, making it reasonable for OP to hesitate about attending a high-energy event like a wedding. Her additional concern about visible bruises reflects understandable self-consciousness, especially with an ex present. The family’s harsh reaction—accusing her of faking or being selfish—suggests underlying issues, possibly related to the ex or past family dynamics.

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Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma and health expert, notes, “Invalidating someone’s physical or emotional pain can deepen distress and fracture relationships” (The Body Keeps the Score). The sister’s accusation that OP injured herself deliberately to avoid the ex is baseless and dismissive, ignoring the medical reality. The mother’s aggressive texts further escalate the conflict, framing OP’s health needs as a betrayal, which is unfair and emotionally manipulative.

Societally, this reflects pressure to prioritize family events over personal well-being, especially for women, who are often expected to “push through” discomfort. OP’s husband’s support in skipping the wedding shows loyalty, but the family’s refusal to acknowledge her concussion suggests a lack of understanding about invisible injuries. OP should focus on recovery, following medical advice, and communicate her diagnosis calmly to her family, setting boundaries against further accusations. If tensions persist, a mediated family discussion post-wedding could address underlying issues, like the ex’s presence or perceived slights.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s reactions were mixed, with most urging OP to seek medical care and some criticizing her for prioritizing appearance over family. Here are the 13 comments, grouped by themes:

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Many stressed the need for medical attention, supporting OP’s health concerns:

thatrandomuncle - okay as someone in the medical field if you are feeling ill after 3 days after a bike crash YOU NEED TO GO TO THE ER! !! you...

Memewalker - NTA, but those are textbook concussion symptoms and you need to go to the hospital. I’m surprised you didn’t go to the hospital on day 1

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dontrackonme - This is a concussion. See a doctor and get treated

MousingJoke - INFO What is your doctor saying about you feeling sick after falling from a bike 3 days after? That is not normal OP

KeepLkngForIntllgnce - This is like an episode of Judge Judy. I face planted, but let me go on Reddit and ask whether I’m being an ass to my sister who’s...

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Priorities. Have you been looked at? Why is your family ripping into you? Unless this is a weird pattern of hurting yourself before important days of celebration - WTF! ??...

Some labeled OP YTA, focusing on her appearance concerns or timing:

happybanana134 - You need to sort out your priorities. '1st, after the crash I felt extremely nauseous and dizzy.' So see a dr. Get checked out.

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'2nd, I could not dare to walk into a public area with a large, bright red dot on my forehead.' This is a non-issue and if this is the reason...

Wandering_aimlessly9 - If I’m understanding correctly you decided 4 days before the wedding you couldn’t go bc you would have a red dot on your head and you were dizzy

and sick at your stomach…4 days beforehand? Yes YTA bc it was an excuse. Not one for having an accident but using nausea 4 days before and a mark on...

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BurntToastAndBlush - YTA - yesterday you fell off your bike so you immediately decide you can’t attend a wedding that’s happening three days from today due to current dizziness/nausea and...

And you claim you and your sister have always had a good relationship? If this bike accident happened hours before the wedding that would be one thing, but otherwise (with...

Constellation-88 - YTA. If you really wanted to go to the wedding, bruising and a scar wouldn't stop you. The only real issue is dizziness and nausea, which you have...

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At the very least, you go to the doc and get the dizziness/nausea looked at and THEN see how you feel day-of and if you're actually still too sick to...

Delicious-Mix-9180 - YTA… It sounds like you didn’t want to go to the wedding and are looking for an excuse to not go. I think that you probably do this...

Only other possibility that I can see is that you have a concussion and it’s so bad that you aren’t able to tell the story and make sense. Either way,...

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Others saw fault on both sides or sought more context:

myst_eerie_us - ESH. Also it's weird that you say you and your sister have a great relationship but it seems vitriolic. You even say your husband says she doesn't treat...

Courtneycopsey - Both TA I feel like you don't actually want to go anyway. It's not like you've broken a leg or bed bound. Your sister and mother shouldn't be...

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but I can absolutely understand some reasoning as to why your sister is angry. Why are you focused on how YOU will look at your sisters wedding. It's not about...

manchambo - INFO: did you want to go to the wedding before your accident?

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OP’s bike crash and concussion sparked a family firestorm, with her sister and mother’s harsh accusations revealing a lack of empathy. While her health concerns were valid, her initial focus on appearance may have fueled their skepticism. The ER visit confirms she’s not faking, but the family’s reaction stings.

Should OP try to explain her concussion to mend ties, or step back from her family’s vitriol? What do you think of their response? Share your thoughts below!

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