WIBTA For Not Allowing Our Guests To Use The Pool?

A husband dreads tomorrow’s family barbecue because his brother-in-law repeatedly ignores pool safety rules with toddlers who can’t swim. Despite a previous incident where the kids nearly entered unsupervised and without life jackets, the wife insists the pool must stay open for the dozens of excited children. In addition, what makes the story more complicated is the husband’s fear of liability and drowning risks clashing with family expectations.

He considers locking the pool entirely or banning the reckless relatives, sparking tension with his wife who views it as the event’s main attraction. Social media users weigh in on insurance nightmares, legal liabilities, and whether safety trumps fun at a crowded gathering.

‘WIBTA For Not Allowing Our Guests To Use The Pool?’

The host lays out strict pool rules after a close call with unsupervised toddlers.

I (39M) am married to (38F). My wife's family is huge. Like, big and tight knit. Most of her family either lives a bit north of us, others live in...

Most of her family is coming, Overall, no big issues except our pool. I don't feel comfortable with kids in the pool unless they have a life jacket, and an...

my BIL was trying to let his two kids which are both under 5 in the pool with no life jacket or parental supervision, under the explanation "they can swim,"...

Frustration mounts as he proposes locking the pool to prevent repeats.

Well they're coming over again, and I'm considering locking up the pool this time. Or at least not allowing my BIL or his kids to enter it if the previous...

WIBTA? My wife thinks im wrong because the pool is the thing the kids (a WHOLE LOT OF KIDS) will be most excited about.. Will add any other information that...

Home pools turn festive barbecues into high-stakes zones where one lapse in supervision can lead to tragedy.

Drowning ranks as the leading cause of death for children ages 1-4, with most incidents occurring during brief lapses in adult watch—often under 5 minutes. The CDC emphasizes that even “water-safe” claims from parents prove unreliable, as young kids lack judgment around depth and fatigue. Hosts bear legal responsibility under attractive nuisance laws, meaning an accessible pool invites liability regardless of verbal warnings. Locking access or requiring certified supervision isn’t overkill—it’s standard risk management.

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Some argue backyard gatherings imply swimming access, especially with kids hyped for it, but this ignores how alcohol and distractions compound dangers. The wife’s push to keep it open prioritizes fun over facts, potentially enabling negligence.

As the American Red Cross states: “Constant, careful supervision by a responsible adult is the best way to prevent drowning—there is no substitute” (source: American Red Cross Water Safety).

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Social media users overwhelmingly backed the host’s safety-first stance, stressing drowning risks and homeowner liability.

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Famous_Specialist_44 − I think your pool urgently needs a sanitisation cycle because a skunk/cow/insert fictional animal here died in the pool. It is therefore not usable for 48 hours because...

Print off a fake bill and leave it on the table from a company called Swim Healthy, Instant Treatment then spend the evening complaining they aren't instant at all and...

CottontailSchuyler − NTA. Lock up the pool unless there is someone designated to supervise the pool (preferably with BLS training). Children drown terrifyingly quickly and it’s very hard to tell...

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Auntie-Mam69 − NTA. Print this out and hand it to your BIL. Better yet, email a link to it and tell him you will not let his kids in your...

No_Address6240 − Nta explain your insurance just does not cover guests and lock the pool. You invitation does not give guests access to everything in your house. That includes your...

A couple of responses pushed for compromise, noting the barbecue’s appeal while demanding ironclad supervision rules.

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Ok-CANACHK − On one hand, having a cookout with a pool available and not allowing swimming is a big AH move . On the other letting kids swim without any...

You and your wife need to get on the same page pronto. All children need to be wearing proper life jackets, swims, whatever

AND EVRY CHILD IN THE SWIMMING POOL AREA REQUIRES AN ADULT THERE , SUPERVISING! ! if any parent pushes back, "but they'll be fine" "I'm here to visit, not lifeguard"...

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HortenseDaigle − WIBTA? My wife thinks im wrong because the pool is the thing the kids (a WHOLE LOT OF KIDS) will be most excited about. NTA however, you must...

Is she willing to act as a sober lifeguard when/if her relatives allow their kids to use the pool? The kids will only be excited about the pool if they...

Light-hearted suggestions emerged to dodge drama while keeping the pool off-limits creatively.

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mrsrubo − Hire a lifeguard for the party. Yes, YTA to have a backyard bbq around a pool and not let people swim.

Far_Information_9613 − NTA. If a kid drowns you will get your ass sued off and the entire family will blame you.

Some comments with many different opinions come from readers.

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Kialya − The problem is basically not if you’re going to let them use the pool or not but if they actually get in the pool. If one of those...

you’re gonna be liable anyway - doesn’t matter if you had a lock on it or if you tried every precaution in the world to try to prevent somebody from...

Sucks, but that’s kind of what it is. You may want to hire a lifeguard or just have somebody on hand full-time to watch everybody swimming to make sure nobody...

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AnakinSkywalkerisfav − NTA, my grandparents used to have a pool, and they would never have let two preschool age children swim with **no supervision** at all. And yeah, having them...

The husband stands firm on pool locks or strict oversight to avert disaster, despite his wife’s resistance and family hype around swimming. Community consensus favors caution over courtesy, citing irreversible consequences of lax rules.

Have you enforced house rules that upset guests for safety reasons? How do you balance fun with liability at family events?

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