Am I wrong to want to end our marriage because of my wife’s secretive spending and eating habits?

A husband reveals his morbidly obese wife’s secret $700-a-month fast food delivery bill, hidden among rotting groceries and $15,000 in debt, despite his financial support and pleas for forgiveness. The constant lies and hidden paperwork erode trust, prompting him to quietly plan a divorce.

To complicate matters, her addictions clash with his role as support—paying her bills while she spends half her income on deliveries. He sees this as a betrayal, not a disease, and is ready to flee before he sinks deeper into ruin.

‘Am I wrong to want to end our marriage because of my wife’s secretive spending and eating habits?’

Financial support masked escalating hidden consumption patterns.

My wife is morbidly obese and weighs about about 350 pounds. I recently found out she lies about her eating habits. I asked her why so many restaurant containers are...

She confessed she racked up $300 on a credit card ordering fast food. And that is while I am trying to help her pay off $15k in credit card debt....

I found she spends close to $700 a month on fast food deliveries while I work. Nearly every day. She hid it from me and lets food in our fridge...

Cross-verified deceptions confirmed daily $100 orders and cover-ups.

A few times, she tried to hide the food wrappers. I cross checked the dates of food deliveries with her texts and found she lied about eating our food while...

More lies. I am planning a divorce and she does not yet know. I have tried to give her chances to rein in her eating disorder. She ignores me. I...

Clarifications highlighted unequal finances and shutdowns on health talks.

Edit: A couple items to clarify/answer: 1. We are both in our 40s with no childeen. 2. Her credit cards are in her name, not mine. But it is still...

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And I pay her medical bills, rent, groceries, utilities and car expenses while she claims to not earn much money. She spends about half her pay on fast food. 4....

Secret binge eating signals a compulsive disorder, not just a weakness of will, requiring professional intervention beyond ultimatums. The wife’s $100-a-day orders and the vicious cycles of addiction hidden in the wrapping paper—deception perpetuates cycles of shame, eroding marital trust while sapping shared resources. The husband’s financial bailout allows without addressing the root cause; divorce protects assets but misses the possibility of recovery. Her closure prevents dialogue, but his “thick-skinned” framing suggests resentment trumps empathy.

Opposing perspectives see the lie as a betrayal to justify leaving, prioritizing self-preservation amid a $700 monthly leak. What complicates the story is that shared finances tie his stability to her hospitalization.

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Eating disorder expert Dr. Ovidio Bermudez says on the National Eating Disorders Association website, “Binge eating disorder involves recurring loss of control—secrecy and guilt perpetuate the cycles; recovery requires therapy, not just confrontation.” Boundaries are supportive, but abandonment is potentially fatal.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Many users equate it to addiction, endorsing divorce to halt enabling.

SarahTwirls − NTA leaving her would be no different then leaving someone who suffers from d__g addiction. You can’t enable her behavior and it’s f__king with your finances.

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bluefurniture − You're not the AH but she needs a therapist badly.

Cautious_Web_8160 − NTA. I don’t think what she is lying about is the issue (could be any addiction) as much as her decision making - lying, overspending, racking up further...

I have some compassion for her, but she will bring you down with her if you don’t escape the marriage. You can’t fix her. Only she can.

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WtfChuck6999 − NTA. I was gonna say you need to sever any joint accounts immediately or she will drain ALL your money. This is coming from a recovered addict. Not...

changelingcd − NTA. She's an addict, and will continue to destroy her health and your joint finances like addicts generally do. Go restart your life while you still can.

A few commenters urge therapy suggestions before exit, blending compassion with realism.

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Kgates1227 − You have every right to get a divorce. But has there been any discussions about her getting treatment? You know if she can stop on her own, she...

There may even be a co morbidity. You don’t have an obligation to stay with her, but maybe as a friend suggest treatment and fast. In the meantime, make sure...

altarwisebyowllight − She needs serious help. Food addiction like this has an underlying mental or emotional cause, and she won'tbe able to stop until she can address that.

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Just telling her to rein it in is not enough. It's not that easy. With that said, it is up to you whether or not you can provide the support...

You have to take care of yourself before you can really take care of others, or you'll drown, too. So no, you're NTA if you feel you can't help and...

Some share recovery insights or note lost respect, adding relatable edges.

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bigfatkitty2006 − OP , it's over. Your verbiage of "to fill her face" indicates there's no love or respect left. End it now.

Euphoric-Deer2363 − No. That's unacceptable. My ex used to do that with alcohol.

Broad_Woodpecker_180 − Food can be as much of an addiction as any substance and very destructive as well. I am overweight but 40lbs lighter than I was 4.5 months ago....

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Often food that are not good for us such as fried and greasy food tend to be the ones we crave. At some point we lose the ability to tell...

Still she won’t change unless she wants to and commits to it. You can’t cheat and lose weight. I eat about 1/3 of what I used to but in reality...

I have not had fast food, pizza,pasta, parties since I started my program. Do I want them sure but I want back in shape more. I do remember a time...

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The husband shields finances from his wife’s concealed bingeing and debt spiral, viewing lies as the final straw after ignored health pleas. Online consensus treats it as addiction warranting separation, with some pushing pre-divorce therapy offers.

Ever enabled a partner’s hidden habit? Share exit strategies or intervention tips below.

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