AITA for warning people that my sister lies a lot?

A 29-year-old woman quietly signals friends when her 26-year-old sister spins another tall tale, shielding others from believing harmful fabrications. The sister, a compulsive liar since childhood trauma, now faces jail after impersonating an off-duty officer during a trespassing incident. The warning system—subtle headshakes—spared embarrassment until the sister caught on.

In addition, what makes the story more complicated is the poster’s deep loyalty despite the lies, refusing to abandon a sibling who struggles for attention. Confrontation revealed the alerts, sparking accusations of betrayal. An update shows consequences catching up faster than any talk.

‘AITA for warning people that my sister lies a lot?’

Sibling bonds weathered severe childhood trauma, yet one habit persisted unchecked.

My Sister(26) just found out that I(29) warn people I know before they meet her that she is a compulsive liar. I love my sister a lot but she has...

Even dumb little things that don't make sense half the time. I can always tell when she is lying but other people can't and I don't want my friends or...

A discreet system evolved to protect relationships without public shaming.

So whenever she says something I know is a lie around my friends they look at me and I shake my head no and this is a system I have...

My sister isn't a bad person and we both had very hard childhoods and went through a lot of truama so I give her grace and ask that you do...

Discovery during a coworker meetup led to confrontation and an explosive update.

Well yesterday she met a coworker of mine who I warned that she lies a lot to before hand. She said something that was outrageous and my coworker looked at...

My Sister saw it and on the way back to my house asked me why sometimes I shake my head no when she talks. I explained why, exactly as I...

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I wasn't mean or cold about it and my Sister knows that I have an issue with her lying all the time already. We'll she thinks I'm an a**hole now...

Update: Hey everyone just a quick update, my sister is currently in jail for lying about being an off duty police officer to another undercover since she didn't know he...

He friends and her were trespassing and got caught and she tried to pretend she was an off duty officer and when asked for information she obviously couldn't provide it....

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trespassing and vandalism. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice about this situation and I was going to sit her down and chat about her making seriously bad choices...

Compulsive lying rooted in trauma demands intervention, not accommodation.

The poster’s alerts prevent collateral damage while avoiding direct confrontation. Opposing views label it disloyal, yet unchecked lies erode trust faster than warnings. Socially, enabling pathological dishonesty risks legal fallout, as seen in the jail update.

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In addition, what makes the story more complicated is the attention-seeking cycle, where silence feeds the habit. Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains: “Pathological liars often escalate without boundaries; loved ones must protect others without abandoning hope for change” (source: MedCircle, 2024). Therapy adherence remains crucial.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Many users endorsed the warnings, viewing them as protective rather than punitive.

TheMandolin − NTA she is a liar, it’s perfectly fine and even a good idea to warn people about it. If she’s lying due to a mental health condition that...

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preventing people from overreacting to the lies denies her that attention and thus doesn’t feed the cycle her brain is trying to start. And it protects your friends from being...

kurokomainu − ETA: It seems like she lies about you too, in ways that seriously defame you. Of course you are justified in warning people in advance that she lies.

What's the alternative? Having people believe that you are a criminal, d__g addict, and whatever she comes up with next? NTA She is a liar. It may be compulsive,

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but that makes it something that she needs to recognize herself and deal with in whatever way she can, not something those who love her need to enable so she...

If she had a disorder where she randomly windmilled her arms, leading her to hit people in the face, you would be justified in warning others of the fact

beforehand so they could be ready to turn aside and avoid her swings. You're not obliged to do the figurative equivalent of leaving people to be blindsided by a smack...

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autistic_and_angry − "Well she thinks I'm an a**hole now because now everyone is going to think she is liar. " NTA. That ship sailed. She is a liar, whether malicious...

analogascension − NTA. I would sit her down and explain to her that she is an adult now and she is actively embarrassing herself and you as her family by...

To protect yourself, you've been forced to give caveat when she speaks. If she still doesnt comprehend what this means, then she should be in a care facility.

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wurmchen12 − Not at all. My dad was a “ teller of tall tales” too. I warned people also most of his stories he tells as fact are just that,...

He was annoyed over that. Did an ancestry DNS several years after dad passed and not a drop of Indian in the line, not even an “ other”.

A few commenters balanced empathy with tough love, questioning full loyalty.

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Only-Breadfruit-6108 − You say she’s not a bad person, but honestly, if she’s not trustworthy, then she’s not a good person. That’s about as much grace as she deserves. You’re...

For her own good, but you know she doesn’t want that. You were disloyal; and she’s right to be angry, but because she’s not a good person, she’s a chronic...

SmolandDepresso − I would like to say my sister is currently seeing a therapist but I have no idea how that is going for her or if she is honest...

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I do not wish to cut my sister out of my life after the things we went through together as kids I can't just abandon her. I love her very...

I want her to get better and I dont think me cutting her off completely would help. I try to avoid her being around my friends and such if possible

but she visits semi often as many people dont want to be her friend(understandably so) but sometimes we go out and run into people or my friends unexpectedly stop by...

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Two replies brought humor to highlight the absurdity of denial.

boring_pants − You're doing it wrong. You're not supposed to warn people yourself, a third person should announce that "one of these siblings always lies and one always tells the...

Kitchen-Purple-5061 − NTA. If she doesn’t want people to “think she’s a liar” she should stop lying to people

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The poster revealed her quiet alerts about a sister’s chronic lies, earning support for safeguarding others amid family loyalty. The jail update underscored escalating risks, with hopes for a turning point.

How far should love stretch when habits harm everyone involved? Have you managed a loved one’s compulsion without enabling—what worked?

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