AITA For not getting my daughter braces?

A mother and her 21-year-old daughter clashed over a decision made years ago: not getting braces for the daughter’s teeth. The mother believed her daughter’s teeth were fine, backed by dentists who said braces were purely cosmetic. Yet, as a teenager, the daughter begged for them, feeling self-conscious about her crooked teeth. Her pleas were dismissed, and a later attempt with Smile Direct Club aligners backfired, causing a costly dental issue.

Now, the daughter demands her mother pay half of a $7,500 treatment, accusing her of neglecting her insecurities. Was the mother wrong to prioritize professional advice over her daughter’s feelings? This story dives into the emotional and financial fallout of a parenting choice, sparking a heated debate.

‘AITA For not getting my daughter braces?’

The story begins with the mother’s decision that braces weren’t necessary for her daughter, despite her growing concerns.

My daughter (21F) and I (48F) just got into a huge argument on the topic of why I didn't get her braces as a child. I personally felt that her...

and we were even told by several dentists that she does not need braces for any sort of purpose rather than cosmetically straightening them, so I thought it would be...

She would constantly ask me to get her braces once she became a teenager, claiming her teeth were overly crooked and she felt as if every one of her friends...

The daughter sought help from both parents, but financial constraints and dismissals blocked her path.

She then began approaching her father (father and I aren't together) to help her get braces, but he always insisted that he didn't have the money.

Eventually I agreed to get my daughter Smile Direct Club aligners when she was 17, and they worked for the most part. I didn't have to hear her whine about...

The aligners led to a serious dental issue, fueling the daughter’s anger and a demand for financial help.

Until she decided to go to an orthodontist to get real braces, and was told that she would need serious treatment because she had now developed a crossbite from the...

ADVERTISEMENT

She became furious with me, telling me that I practically neglected her feelings and insecurities about her teeth, and that I encouraged her to "ruin her mouth" by getting her...

Her treatment is estimated at $7,500 and she is demanding I pay for at least half, since I was the one who "ruined her mouth in the first place". AITA?

This mother faces a painful conflict: her daughter blames her for not addressing her teenage insecurities about crooked teeth, a choice that led to a costly dental issue. Dentists advised that braces were cosmetic, but the daughter’s persistent pleas revealed deep self-consciousness. Opting for Smile Direct Club aligners, which caused a crossbite, turned a dismissed concern into a serious problem.

ADVERTISEMENT

Teen self-esteem is deeply tied to appearance. Psychologist Dr. Susan Albers notes, “Insecurities about looks, like uneven teeth, can significantly impact a teen’s confidence” (Cleveland Clinic). By downplaying her daughter’s feelings, the mother may have unintentionally deepened her distress.

Some might argue the mother acted reasonably, trusting professional advice and avoiding unnecessary treatment. However, choosing a questionable solution like Smile Direct Club without thorough research shows a lack of care. Society often empathizes with young adults carrying the weight of childhood insecurities, and the daughter’s frustration is understandable.

The mother should acknowledge her oversight and consider helping with the $7,500 treatment cost as a gesture of reconciliation. An open conversation could mend their strained bond, and family counseling might help them understand each other better. Moving forward, parents must weigh both physical and emotional health in decisions affecting their kids.

ADVERTISEMENT

This story underscores that even well-intentioned choices can backfire if a child’s feelings are overlooked. A little empathy can go a long way in preventing lasting rifts.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many users criticized the mother for dismissing her daughter’s insecurities, stressing that braces address more than just function.

PopularFunction5202 − YTA. Getting braces for "cosmetic" reasons is why they exist. You could have given her a much better life now if you had forked over the money when...

ADVERTISEMENT

It's like you didn't even listen to what she had to say when she was a teen, and your responsibility as a parent is to care for the health of...

Do you not understand what a stigma it is to have even slightly crooked, slightly overcrowded teeth? And later, if you were willing to pay for Smile Direct, why didn't...

NeeliSilverleaf − YTA. It may be "just cosmetic" but it's something potential employers (among others) will judge her on. Straight white teeth are a class marker.

ADVERTISEMENT

Shot-Tomato-5512 − Absolutely YTA. You commented before saying there was overcrowding going on when she got older yet you still didn’t do anything except get something that would take longer...

Some defended the mother’s reliance on dental advice but faulted her for choosing a risky aligner option.

BastardsCryinInnit − I assume all the downvoted NTA replies are being downvotes by Americans who have a weird obsession with cosmetic dentistry.

ADVERTISEMENT

If you had genuine advice from dentists that they weren't necessary - what else are you supposed to do? They're the professionals we are supposed to trust.

I'm not American nor living in the US so very much in the "so long as your teeth are healthy and cause no issues, leave them be" camp. Part of...

But i dont think you owe your daughter anything. If you'd had medical advice that yes, she needs braces, and you hadn't bothered, this would be a different reply.

ADVERTISEMENT

But I also think this is a cautious tale for using cowboy alignment places like SmileDirect or what it's called. Loads of them about right now. People should be going...

Edit: Thank you for the awards! I should add when I wrote this post, there were very few replies, but 80% were downvoted to hell and all coincidentally N-T-As.

SpookyAutumns − INFO, really I'd need to know just how crooked her teeth were as a kid. Even if they were technically fine, as in she could chew and bite...

ADVERTISEMENT

_Duckylicious − I don't really want to get into the "crooked teeth are normal" vs "you trashed her mental health" culture war going on here, but the Smile Direct Club...

Either you thought her teeth were fine, or you didn't. Getting her a bootleg fix so she'll shut up about it doesn't mesh with either.

Others shared personal experiences, highlighting the lasting impact of insecurities and urging the mother to take responsibility.

ADVERTISEMENT

MorbidDeceiver123 − YTA, as someone who didn't get braces as a child, I got them myself when I was 30 years old as it was something that always bothering me...

Few-Independence-714 − YTA for getting her smile direct club when you could afford braces. You messed up her teeth intentionally or not. If you did even the slightest bit of...

beccabee333 − Based on your comment that she did have over crowding YTA. Teeth are one of the first thing people look at when speaking to someone! I needed braces...

ADVERTISEMENT

I’m now in my 30’s and still refuse to smile with my mouth open. I’m incredibly self conscious and I have zero doubt your daughter felt the same way! Braces...

Tag-sibol − Were you able to afford braces when she was younger?

The online community is split but leans toward faulting the mother for ignoring her daughter’s insecurities and choosing a risky aligner option. They emphasize the emotional weight of appearance and urge her to help fix the current dental issue.

ADVERTISEMENT

This story highlights the delicate balance of parenting—balancing professional advice with a child’s emotional needs. The mother’s choice to skip braces and opt for a flawed solution like Smile Direct Club sparked lasting consequences. The daughter’s anger offers a chance to rebuild their bond through understanding and support.

Listening to a child’s insecurities, especially about appearance, is crucial in parenting. Small decisions can have big impacts on self-esteem. Empathy and accountability can mend family rifts and prevent future conflicts. Have you ever felt your parents overlooked your insecurities? How did you handle issues with appearance growing up? Share your story in the comments!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *