Am I wrong for not wanting to go to my dads work party?

A corporate summer party turned sour for a 15-year-old girl when her dad’s boss made an unsettling comment about her appearance. The original poster (OP) felt uneasy after the boss pulled her aside, saying she was “really blossoming” and could “meet a good husband” at such events. When she told her dad, he dismissed it as polite small talk, leaving her questioning her discomfort.

With this year’s Summer Social approaching, OP dreads facing the boss again and wants to skip the event. Yet, she worries about letting her dad down or overreacting to a “cringey” remark. Was she wrong to prioritize her comfort, or should she attend to support her dad? The community’s response and her update shed light.

‘Am I wrong for not wanting to go to my dads work party?’

OP describes her dad’s annual work event and its family expectations.

So every year my dads work holds a Summer Social. It’s a big important event, and my dad has always said it’s important for me (15f) and my mum to...

It’s usually pretty fun (apart from the evening bit which is boring) but there are obviously certain rules and etiquette to follow as it’s my dads work.

The boss’s remark about OP’s appearance leaves her uneasy.

Last year my dads boss (I’ve seen him at the socials every year since I was little) took me aside and said that I was ‘really blossoming now’ and that...

It made me feel pretty uncomfortable. I told my dad about it at the time and he said his boss was just being polite and that I’m overthinking it.

OP debates skipping the event but fears disappointing her dad; she later resolves it with him.

Anyway, this years social is coming up and I really don’t want to go as I can’t face the thought of seeing his boss again. But I know it’s important...

and I wonder if I’m just being over sensitive and perhaps he’s right, maybe his boss was just being polite but in a cringey kind of way?. What’s your opinion?...

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UPDATE: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all the support. I’ve spoken with my dad tonight (my mum and I don’t really have that kind of relationship) and told...

He apologised and said that he didn’t realise how much it was bothering me. We had a good talk about it and he said he’s going to speak to his...

It’s up to me whether or not I attend.. Thank you all so much for listening to me and offering advice. I’m so glad I did this.

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A seemingly harmless comment at a work event left a teenager grappling with discomfort and self-doubt. The core issue is the boss’s inappropriate remark, describing OP as “blossoming” and suggesting she could find a husband at a corporate event. For a 15-year-old, this comment—especially delivered privately—feels objectifying and unsettling. The act of pulling her aside amplifies the unease, signaling a boundary violation. Her parents’ dismissal of her feelings as oversensitivity further invalidates her instincts, a common challenge for teens navigating adult interactions.

From the dad’s perspective, he may see the Summer Social as a chance to showcase his family, and downplaying the boss’s comment could stem from a desire to avoid workplace conflict. However, this overlooks the impact on his daughter, especially as a minor vulnerable to inappropriate remarks. OP’s courage in addressing this with her dad, and his subsequent apology and action, mark a positive step toward validating her feelings.

Child psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour notes, “Teens need adults to listen and affirm their emotions to build confidence and safety” (Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood). OP’s gut reaction was spot-on, and her decision to speak up reflects growing self-awareness. The dad’s willingness to address the issue with his boss is encouraging, though he must follow through to ensure OP’s safety.

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This scenario highlights a broader issue: inappropriate comments toward minors, often excused as “generational” or “polite.” It underscores the need for adults to protect teens in professional settings, where social pressures can mask red flags. OP’s story is a reminder to trust one’s instincts and advocate for personal boundaries.

Advice: OP should continue trusting her instincts and feel empowered to skip the event if she’s uncomfortable. If she attends, staying close to her dad or mom can deter further interactions with the boss. Practicing assertive responses, like “That comment makes me uncomfortable,” can prepare her for any oversteps. She should keep open communication with her dad to ensure he supports her. If the boss’s behavior escalates, her dad should escalate the issue to HR or consider workplace changes to prioritize her safety.

See what others had to share with OP:

The online community rallied behind OP, calling the boss’s comment inappropriate and urging her to prioritize her comfort.

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Commenters labeled the boss’s remark as creepy and out of line for a minor.

Ok_Aide7125 − His boss is a creep

Pretty-Benefit-233 − You’re not wrong. That man is a creep and was wayyyy out of line.

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Mad_Cowboy_64 − Normal older men should be paranoid about coming off as a creep. But as a supervisor he should be even more cautious. A good rule of thumb is...

That goes double for employees children. He’s a creep. His statement was not even exclusionary of himself so he could have been saying you’d make me a good wife one...

Users encouraged OP to trust her gut and offered strategies for the event.

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HunterDangerous1366 − His boss could have said 'Wow OP! You've grown so much since last year, how are you? How is school? ' You know, normal and polite small talk...

Instead, his boss made a comment on your appearance/body, and your dad is expecting you to be grateful? Brush it off? If you haven't, tell your mum. I wouldn't want...

sunsetrise013 − Ew. I remember men making comments about me, my body, and my age when I was freshly 18. They would imply that now I was an adult, they...

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Even as an “adult,” it didn’t feel right. Go with your gut. You are already uncomfortable and thinking about not going because of those uncomfy feelings. Don’t go.

If your dad tries to argue that it would make him and your family “look bad,” then maybe he needs a different job if it depends so heavily on your...

I do not wish to share the same space as him. ” That’s it. You can even say “No, thanks” and that should be the end of it. “No” is...

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But especially a 15 y/o girl. I’m sorry you went though that. Good luck and please update because your safety is the most important thing here.

ccandy73 − Last year you were 'blossoming' and this year it could be a 'playful' swat to your bottom. Nah, your dad's boss is overstepping for real. Is it possible...

Some criticized OP’s parents for downplaying the issue and highlighted the event’s problematic culture.

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PLRGirl − Thank you everyone! It’s such a relief to know it’s not just me! I can’t reply to everyone rn but yeah it’s definitely a culture of all the...

Kind of ‘look how great my life is, you can have this one day’ Just wanted to stress my dad is literally the best, it’s just this one thing that...

generation’ which is why I was doubting myself, but you’ve all given really good advice about staying close to my dad to discourage anything further and speaking up loudly if...

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Minute_Feeling_307 − ICK! !!!! 🤢 🤢 Its f__king gross. Listen to your instincts, you've just gotten a lesson in how to spot these fuckers. The first sign is when they...

Watch out for unsolicited shoulder rubs next. 🤮 For some reason this happened to me a lot. You are not wrong at all. But I can see this getting messy...

[Reddit User] − My daughter is 11 and i probably would’ve given my boss a headbutt to the nose had he said that, but that’s just me. I don’t know...

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BoJo2736 − "Dad, if he does that again, I will not be polite. Are you sure you want me there? "

The community validates OP’s discomfort, calling the boss’s comment inappropriate, especially toward a 15-year-old. They urge her to trust her instincts, stay near her parents if attending, and hold her dad accountable for addressing the issue. Some criticize her parents’ initial dismissal and note the company culture may enable such behavior.

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This story emphasizes the importance of trusting a teenager’s instincts and protecting them from inappropriate comments, especially from older adults. Open communication with family is key to resolving such conflicts.

Have you ever felt uneasy about someone’s comment but were told you were overreacting? How did you stand up for your boundaries?

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