AITA for telling my parents about my friend’s dad trying to pay me to date his son?

A 15-year-old girl just wanted to be friends with Kyle, a boy with autism, but things took a strange turn when his dad offered to pay her to date him. The uncomfortable offer left her rattled, and when she confided in her dad, it sparked conflict in Kyle’s family, straining her budding friendship. Now, she feels guilty for causing a mess, as Kyle avoids her, leaving their connection in limbo.

Was the OP wrong for telling her parents about the bizarre proposal? Or was Kyle’s dad out of line for meddling? This heartfelt story of a teen friendship tested by an adult’s overreach will tug at your heartstrings. Dive in to decide who’s in the right and how this delicate situation could have been handled!

‘AITA for telling my parents about my friend’s dad trying to pay me to date his son?’

A new friendship sparked at school:

I (15F) started a new school in April last school year so I didn’t really have a lot of time to make new friends before summer. I ended up sitting...

He’s a little weird and turns out he’s autistic, but I didn’t want to eat alone so I saw he had a space camp tshirt on and asked him if...

and it was actually kind of nice because I didn’t have to say much and it was interesting plus he was really excited to talk about it, so win-win. We...

The friendship grew stronger:

He’s in a couple of my classes this year so even though I have other friends now we still hang out. He invited me this weekend to come over for...

It sounded fun so I went and met his parents and they seemed really happy that he had a friend over. Like his mom was super clear that I can...

A strange offer from Kyle’s dad:

I had to go home since it was getting late and Kyle’s dad said he would drop me off since it’s just like 10 minutes away and he was going...

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Kyle’s dad was doing the dad chat while we were in the car and then said it was really nice of me to be friends with Kyle and asked if...

And then it got really weird because he was like trying to talk me into dating Kyle and said if I’d take him to the homecoming formal he’d pay for...

Sharing with her parents led to consequences:

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I wasn’t going to tell anyone but my dad figured out that something was wrong so he came and asked me if everything went ok for real and I told...

Kyle was out of school Monday and Tuesday and yesterday he was looking really bad and like he was avoiding me so I asked him if he had been sick....

So my parents must have talked to his parents about what happened and now I feel like I messed up because it caused a big deal and hurt Kyle and...

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Update: The OP tried to salvage the friendship:

Edit: Thank you for all the responses and advice. I talked to my parents about it last night and they did talk to Kyle’s mom. Kyle’s mom said she would...

My parents don’t want me to go over to Kyle’s house again but they said that Kyle could come here if I want while they’re home or maybe they could...

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I texted Kyle last night and said I hoped he was feeling better and that we’re cool if he still wants to be friends. I haven’t heard from him and...

and even if everyone else thinks he’s a weirdo he’s actually nice and smart. I wouldn’t even have minded going to the stupid dance with him as friends if he...

Second Update: The friendship fell apart:

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Edit2: Some people wanted to know how it was going. Kyle and I aren’t friends anymore I guess. He stopped talking to me and avoids me at school so I...

His mom wanted to plan a trip with my mom to the air and space museum nearby as an apology and a chance for us to hang out but since...

My parents said that he might come around later because feelings can be really intense for autistic people and he might not be able to talk right now but if...

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This story underscores the importance of respecting personal boundaries, especially for teenagers navigating friendships. The OP, a 15-year-old, acted appropriately by confiding in her dad about Kyle’s father’s unsettling offer to pay her to date his son. This inappropriate proposal not only crossed a line but also placed the OP in an uncomfortable position, ultimately harming her budding friendship with Kyle, a teen with autism.

Child psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour, in Under Pressure, emphasizes that teenagers need adults to respect their personal boundaries, particularly in friendships. Kyle’s father’s actions, though possibly driven by a desire to help his son socialize, were wholly inappropriate.

Offering money to ensure the OP took Kyle to a school dance disregarded both teens’ autonomy and feelings, potentially making Kyle feel devalued, as if he couldn’t form relationships naturally. For someone with autism, who may already struggle with social cues, as noted by Dr. Tony Attwood, this could lead to embarrassment or withdrawal, explaining Kyle’s avoidance.

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The OP’s decision to tell her dad was the right move for a teen facing an unsettling situation. Her parents handled it well by addressing the issue with Kyle’s mom and setting boundaries, like barring the OP from visiting Kyle’s home. However, the fallout—Kyle’s distress and the end of their friendship—is a painful consequence, likely due to his sensitivity to the family conflict. The OP’s guilt is understandable but misplaced; she’s not responsible for the actions of an adult.

Moving forward, the OP should keep the door open for Kyle, perhaps with a gentle message reaffirming she doesn’t blame him, but avoid pushing him. She could benefit from talking to a school counselor to process her sadness and guilt. Kyle’s parents need to address the father’s behavior to prevent future oversteps. This situation highlights the need for adults to support, not manipulate, teen relationships.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The online community unanimously agreed the OP did nothing wrong, condemning Kyle’s dad’s actions while expressing sympathy for both teens.

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Most supported the OP and criticized Kyle’s dad:

Apart-Ad-6518 − NTA And neither is Kyle. ". ..Was like trying to talk me into dating Kyle and said if I’d take him to the homecoming formal he’d pay for...

That wasn't ok on any level. " I told him about Kyle’s dad. " You were absolutely right to do so. "He said not to worry about it and that...

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ObscureMrE − NTA - you have done nothing wrong, actually you have handled the situation way better than most teenagers would have done. I’m glad that you didn’t share it...

His dad messed this up, although I think he meant it in a good way while he was thinking as his son’s dad (knowing his condition) but it was a...

I don’t think he thought this through and was inappropriate about it. He should apologize to you for this though. It’s an unfortunate situation but it’s not the boy’s fault....

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MiscreantMarsupial − NTA. Kyle's dad is the big problem here, he's making everything super awkward. He basically asked you to lead his son on, which cannot possibly end well. You...

November-8485 − You told an adult. Which is who you’re supposed to go to. You never should have been put in that position. Don’t be upset. His dad put you...

Brainjacker − Whoooooooooooa. NTA at ALL. Kyle's dad essentially propositioned you on his son's behalf; he isn’t doing Kyle any favors as he gets ready to enter adulthood, and you...

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stophittingthyself − NTA You did the right thing and your dad did the right thing. Kyle's dad is a massive creep getting you alone to pressure you like that. If...

Maybe you two can arrange a safer place to hang out (though check with your parents first). Shame though, because a telescope controlled by a laptop sounds awesome.

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AvalonWood − NTA. Kyles dad was being weird and you were uncomfortable, it’s absolutely fine to tell your parents. Plus you’re assuming that Kyles parents are fighting because your parents...

that may not be the case at all, his dad may have told his mom what he’d said/suggested and she didn’t like it because she recognises it would have been...

It sounds like Kyle needs a good friend, don’t think you need to distance yourself from him but your dad is completely right that it’s up to you who you...

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MrsPomMummy − NTA Please don't feel guilty. It was absolutely the right thing to tell your dad. What Kyle's dad did was very inappropriate and it's good that he got...

Salty-Initiative-242 − NTA you did the right thing, Kyle's dad was the one who messed up and hurt Kyle.

CatteNappe − NTA. "Dad" deserved to get yelled at for trying to buy Kyle a date. He should have stayed pleased that Kyle had a friend, and now he's made...

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but even if he doesn't try to get past it so you and Kyle can continue to enjoy the friendship you had before. And maybe it would be a good...

Some encouraged the OP to maintain the friendship:

EJ_1004 − NTA You and Kyle are both fine in this. Neither of you did anything wrong. I suggest either chatting with or texting Kyle, whichever he’s more comfortable with,...

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There are no hard feelings and I would like to start hanging out with my friend again. Whenever you’re ready feel free to sit with me or let me know....

I do recommend staying away from his Dad though. His request was both creepy and inappropriate. The only reason you and Kyle should go anywhere or do anything is if...

Literally_Taken − My heart breaks for both of you. You have a lovely friendship with Kyle, and his parents should just let it be what it is. It is not...

There is plenty of time in life to find a partner. If it’s possible for you to return to your lovely friendship, please do so. Reassure Kyle that neither he...

misskhittypurr − NTA. Telling your dad was the right thing. It seems his parents are worried that Kyle hasn't had long lasting and/or meaningful FRIENDSHIPS. However, his dad went about...

Ratchet_gurl24 − Oh, honey, you didn’t do anything wrong. You did the correct thing in telling your dad. Kyle’s dad was absolutely in the wrong for what he said. It’s...

One comment highlighted the inappropriateness of Kyle’s dad:

[Reddit User] − Kyle’s dad is the a__hole. You’re both still kids and that’s super fucked up on the dad’s part. Good job talking to your parents about this.

This story serves as a reminder of the importance of respecting boundaries, especially for teenagers. The OP was right to tell her parents about Kyle’s dad’s inappropriate offer, but the fallout cost her a valued friendship. Kyle’s dad’s actions, though possibly well-intentioned, were misguided and harmful.

The OP should keep the door open for Kyle but protect her own feelings. What’s your take? Should the OP try to rebuild the friendship, or let Kyle decide? Share your thoughts below!

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