AITA? my dad got a tattoo in the style of our matching tattoo with his new family and now i want to get mine covered?

An 18-year-old’s plan to cover a matching tattoo with her dad turned into family drama after he got a similar one with his new wife and stepkids, making her feel replaced. His dismissive attitude and lies about skipping their court-mandated weekends deepened her hurt, leading her to cut contact after learning his move was imminent. This story, drawn from a Reddit AITA post, explores betrayal and boundaries in blended families.

It resonates with anyone feeling sidelined by a parent’s new life. Social media users rallied behind the daughter, condemning her dad’s actions. With tattoos symbolizing broken bonds and a stepmom’s influence at play, it’s a raw tale of loyalty and loss. Let’s dive into the details and see what the community thinks about her choice to erase their shared ink.

'AITA? my dad got a tattoo in the style of our matching tattoo with his new family and now i want to get mine covered?'

The daughter’s bond with her dad shifted after his remarriage.

my father (41m) and my mother (40f) divorced three years ago. i live with my mother. my father remarried a year ago. his wife has two children (18f) (15m). me...

it was a simple outline tattoo of a photo of us. after my dad got married, things started to get a bit more distant between us because he started to...

A canceled weekend and a new tattoo sparked hurt.

besides that, i think he doesn't want to see me around them. i don't know why, after all, i've never treated his wife or stepchildren bad. yesterday he refused to...

and he reposted a story of him hanging out with his new family that. while looking at the photo i saw that he got a new tattoo on his arm....

She confronted him, feeling their bond was undermined.

now i know that millions of people have these tattoos and it's not my original design. still i'm disappointed that he got a tattoo with his new family in the...

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now i'm thinking of getting it covered or removed. i called my dad in the evening and asked him why he was hanging out with his family instead of meeting...

so "we planned it earlier" is a pretty b__lshit excuse. he also knows that i'm totally okay with spending time with his family. when i told him that he said...

then i asked him why he got his new tattoo in the same style as ours. he said he didn't think it would be a problem for me. i told...

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i think i'm going to get my tattoo covered. you can do the same." in result he thinks i'm overreacting and i shouldn't be so selfish. my mom says what...

The conversation with her dad revealed deeper issues.

edit: tomorrow i will try to talk to my dad face to face. i hope to discuss openly about whatever the issues are between us and find a way out....

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update: this morning we had breakfast together and had a long talk. it turned out that the problem all this time was my stepsister. he told me that she was...

he also said that she didn't feel at ease around me, which i was really surprised about. we hadn't fought once, and we hadn't even been together long enough to...

he wanted to be a good father figure in her life. still, he said that i might get closer to my stepsiter in time, who knows when. he also said...

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honestly, it would really make me feel like an ah to get mine covered while he keeps his, i'm not sure what to do. lastly, the hardest thing for me...

his wife got a better paying job and he's going to start a business with a friend there. he told me that he will be very busy with all the...

he also promised to visit me often after the move, which i don't think he'll be able to keep. i guess he's really moving into a part of his life...

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Her stepbrother’s revelations exposed lies and a looming move.

update 2: today my stepbrother replied to my story and we started talking. i told him about the latest things and he told me a lot of things i didn't...

in fact, her discomfort isn't so great that she couldn't stand to be in the same place with me. it was my stepmother who asked him not to invite me...

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he's not sure if this is based on something or not. when i asked my mom about it, she said she never met that woman even once. i think her...

also, i didn't mention here, but my dad told me they are moving in november. my stepbrother told me they are moving next week and that was the plan all...

he also asked me not to let his mom know about this conversation. my dad wasn't really like that, he was a good man. i mean, all those lies, cutting...

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he's moving away next week anyway. i told my mom about this and asked her to call my dad, tell him that i would never see him again. my mother...

The daughter’s decision to cover her matching tattoo with her dad stems from feeling devalued by his identical tattoo with his new family and his lies about their time together. His dismissal of her hurt and prioritization of his stepfamily, influenced by his wife, signal a betrayal of their bond. Her choice to block him reflects a need to protect herself from further rejection.

Dr. John Gottman, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Trust in parent-child relationships requires consistent honesty and prioritization of the child’s needs”. The dad’s failure to honor court-mandated weekends and his vague excuses, like “it’s not that simple,” erode trust, especially when paired with the stepmom’s exclusionary actions. The tattoo, a symbol of their unique bond, lost meaning when replicated, amplifying her sense of being sidelined.

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From the dad’s perspective, he may have aimed to bond with his stepdaughter, but replicating the tattoo style without consulting his daughter was insensitive. His stepmom’s influence, as revealed by the stepbrother, suggests she’s driving a wedge, possibly due to unresolved issues with the daughter’s mom. The dad’s acquiescence risks alienating his daughter permanently, especially with the uncommunicated move.

The daughter could benefit from therapy to process her grief and anger, ensuring her tattoo decision is deliberate, not reactive. A letter to her dad, even unsent, could clarify her feelings. If he seeks to rebuild trust, he must prioritize transparency and time with her. Her boundary—cutting contact—is valid, but keeping lines open with her stepbrother could foster future clarity. Her pain is real, and her response protects her heart.

Check out how the community responded:

Most users supported the daughter, condemning her dad’s insensitivity and lies.

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princessluni − NTA Getting a tattoo in the same style could have been a cool idea if he'd talked to you first. That he didn't then appeared to avoid you...

Even if that wasn't the case, it's your body and you're allowed to tattoo whatever you want on it including covering up a previous tattoo. But that also means you...

NeeliSilverleaf − NTA. I'd want to get mine covered if I was in your place.

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DaxAshar − NTA. If your dad won't explain things to you then he can't be surprised when you form your own conclusions. As for the tattoo, its your body. I...

and your mom to see if you can get some clarity on his troubling behavior to see if that changes how you feel about the tattoo cover up. I'm mostly...

My_igloo_is_melting − NTA. You are being squeezed with changing circumstances. You are being told to "keep up" when you have no idea what to do, or what you are keeping...

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for changing everything for his benefit, but you are selfish for wanting things the way they were, the way he promised? Anyone who talks down to you "overreacting and selfish"...

Some urged caution or dialogue to avoid regret.

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YouthNAsia63 − Why don’t you get some tattoo covering makeup and just over it up for a few weeks or months till you have a good chance to think it...

You can always pay big money and go through a painful removal process later, and in the meantime, you can just cover it up. NTA for thinking about it. You...

daisiesanddaffodils − Info: I think the tattoo is not the real issue here, though I do think it's totally valid for you to be upset about the tattoo. I think...

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While I think you did great in the first phone call with asking questions instead of making accusations (that was a great first step for conflict resolution), next time you...

It would likely behoove you to write out what you want to say beforehand, like a letter. If you think he won't hear you out you can send it to...

I think you should just be upfront about how you've been feeling and maybe even what you think a potential solution could be. Something similar to this may work: "Dad,...

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I love you and I love my new step-family, and I've been trying to be open and friendly when I'm around. But I still feel like you've been pulling away...

I love you and I want to be part of your family because I am. Can you help me understand this vibe I've been getting that you don't want me...

but definitely stick to "I feel" statements, because thats the point of this convo, to share your feelings. I'm sorry you're dealing with this right now - I hope you...

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Bashdkmgt − NTA but as someone with an absolute f__k-tonne of tattoos I’ll offer one but if advice: wait a couple of months before you do anything involving a new...

Others criticized the dad’s broader behavior.

DesertSong-LaLa − NTA Your feelings matter and you feel devalued. He's being an ass. Changing the tat is a lifetime change; no need to rush. The overarching issue is your...

Mom made a suggestion to chat with him. 1) I'd want to know what transpired for him to support others getting the same tattoo when they are 100k+ options, 2)...

south3y − He likely faced pressure from new wife to get the tattoo to prove that she and her kids were as important to him as you. He's TA for...

Electrical_Bar7954 − NTA, but your dad is, I'd get that tattoo covered if it were me.

LowBalance4404 − NTA and I'm sorry you are going through this. I can feel the r__ection you are feeling through your words and how you wrote this. I'd honestly do...

Talking about it isn't worth it to me and I'd absolutely get my tattoo covered. You shouldn't have to beg for attention from your own father and to me, that's...

trinabillibob − NTA I would feel he cheapened the gesture/ moment. But your mum is right, sit downtalj to him raise your concerns.

Dentist_Just − Your Dad is the AH. I honestly question the maturity of a parent who would encourage a 16 year old to get a tattoo in the first place.

HumbledB4TheMasses − It isn't complicated, your dad is just a f__king c__ard. His new wife doesn't want to see you because it makes her uncomfortable and he won't stand up...

Get the tattoo covered, your dad doesn't care enough to even set a reasonable boundary of, "I want to see my daughter, and I don't want to have to hide...

[Reddit User] − Nta he brought it on himself

This daughter’s plan to cover her tattoo reflects deep hurt from her dad’s actions—replicating their special ink with his new family and sidelining her with lies. His stepmom’s influence and his move deepen the rift, pushing her to cut contact. Reddit backs her, seeing his betrayal, though some urge patience. It’s a story of broken trust and new boundaries. Should she cover the tattoo to reclaim herself, or wait for clarity? How would you handle a parent prioritizing a new family?

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