AITA for not wanting to cancel weekend plans to my cottage because my girlfriend can’t make it?

A long-awaited weekend escape to a cherished family cottage turned tense when a man’s girlfriend, caught by a last-minute work schedule, demanded he cancel the trip for himself and seven friends. Citing her sacrifices, she expected loyalty, but he saw her request as selfish. Was he wrong to stand firm, or is she overstepping?

Reddit users stormed into this relationship rift like adventurers claiming a campsite, cheering the OP’s resolve, roasting the girlfriend’s entitlement, and blending wit with sharp insights. From urging him to enjoy the trip to spotting red flags, the comments light up this drama. Let’s dive into this heated saga and uncover the community’s take!

‘AITA for not wanting to cancel weekend plans to my cottage because my girlfriend can’t make it?’

The OP (26M) and his girlfriend (24F) planned a cottage weekend with friends:

We (my gf 24F and I 26M) made plans about 2 months ago to invite 7 of our friends to my family cottage for the weekend.

It is a shared cottage with alot of family going back 4 generations so really hard to book a weekend on our little google calendar unless it's at least 2...

On Thursday, his girlfriend revealed she can’t attend due to work:

We are currently thursday evening and my girlfriend just let me know that she can't make it this weekend because she has to work both Saturday evening and Sunday morning.

She expected him to cancel the entire trip, sparking a fight:

I didn't think anything of it thinking she would just not be coming. She immediately got mad as she was expecting me to cancel this weekend just because she can't...

Her justification is that she does alot of me (which she does) and that I should do this for her.

The OP found her demand selfish and refused to cancel:

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I would drop anything to help her or be with her if she needed me but she's just working. I find it selfish and I don't understand why she doesn't...

TLDR: my girlfriend wants me to cancel the weekend at my cottage because she can't make it and has to work.

This cottage clash lays bare a struggle between personal freedom and relationship expectations. The OP is entirely justified in refusing to cancel a meticulously planned weekend involving seven friends, especially given the effort to secure the cottage and his extra work shift. His girlfriend’s demand, tied to her contributions to their relationship, smacks of control rather than partnership, as her absence stems from work, not an emergency.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship scholar, notes, “Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect, not demands for sacrifice” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). The girlfriend’s expectation that the OP and his friends abandon their plans reflects a lack of reciprocity, possibly driven by FOMO (fear of missing out) or a need to test loyalty. Canceling would unfairly disrupt others’ schedules, especially with such short notice.

Culturally, group plans like a cottage getaway carry social weight, and prioritizing one person’s absence over the group’s commitment risks resentment. Her failure to secure time off, despite two months’ notice, isn’t the OP’s burden. Her appeal to past favors suggests scorekeeping, a warning sign in relationships.

The OP could validate her feelings while holding firm, perhaps offering a special plan for when she’s free. A candid talk about mutual expectations could prevent future conflicts. If her controlling behavior persists, couples counseling might uncover deeper issues. For now, honoring his plans respects both his friends and his autonomy.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users charged into this relationship storm with the fervor of explorers staking out a wilderness trail, championing the OP’s stand, condemning the girlfriend’s overreach, and weaving humor with piercing reflections:

Supporters stood firmly with the OP, defending his right to keep the getaway:

binger5 - Man she kind of sucks. Canceling your plans is not a huge deal, but she's trying to cancel the plans of 7 other people. NTA

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Jerseygirl2468 - NTA so you're supposed to do what, sit at home and do nothing while she's working? It's unfortunate she can't go, but there's no reason for you to...

Acrobatic_Hippo_9593 - NTA - you don’t cancel weekend plans for 7 people because your girlfriend can’t make it. That’s not fair to anyone.

[Reddit User] - She’s going to be working. It’s your family’s cottage, does she seriously expect you to cancel the weekend for your 7 friends so they can’t go either?...

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Edcrfvh - NTA. You invited 7 friends who rearranged their schedules to go. Not going because she can't go would be inconsiderate to say the least.

Critics skewered the girlfriend’s entitlement and controlling tactics:

GhostParty21 - NTA. Your girlfriend should’ve put in a time off request two months ago or asked someone to take her shifts weeks ago. Now if she did and it...

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Her justification that she does a lot for you doesn’t make sense because she isn’t actually asking you for support. She’s not asking you to cancel because she’s having surgery...

Also, you invited 7 friends. So she’s expecting 8 people to have their weekend plans cancelled on short notice because she had to work? That’s a wild level of selfishness...

Persontoperson31 - She has fomo. It’s childish. The fact she didn’t make sure she was off work is actually disrespectful to you, the outrageous request is a cherry on top....

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Low_Attention_974 - NTA She’s selfish to the extreme. What’s next? If she has to work then you now have to stay home & do nothing? No more friends unless she...

Honestly for me, I’d probably not have an amazing time. But that’s not the case. This is multiple other ppl. You would not expect her to stay home, nor would...

Humorists chuckled at the absurdity of derailing everyone’s weekend for one absence:

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Habsguy99 - Ima little confused why this is an issue at all. You might want to start thinking about who your with no if your an a__hole or not because...

She’s working she can be jealous she is missing it but to ask you to sit at home and do what ? Nothing while she works is a little insane

ParkerGroove - So GF wants to cancel 8 other people’s 2-month planned for weekend because she suddenly can’t go? I’m not going to tell you to dump her because it’s...

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It sucks, and she may be resentful but she shouldn’t take it out on you or your friends. You are not the AH. Have fun! !

Insightful voices probed the relationship’s dynamics and fairness of expectations:

scononthelake - If one of the other 7 people couldn’t attend, would you not go?

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Forsaken_Pick3201 - NTA - you are hosting your friends. It was made in plenty of time. As you said, getting the time at the cottage is hard, so you may...

wayward_painter - NTA you worked extra and planned the weekend. She obviously dropped the ball or this is a toxic relationship test to see if you'll cave for her. She's...

Romy39 - NTA. You have 7 friends who also made arrangements to go to the cottage. Doesn’t seem right to cancel the entire event just because your GF can’t attend....

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Confident_Ad_919 - You have 7 people going to your cabin and she expects you to cancel the night before?

This cottage controversy sparked a fiery debate over loyalty versus fairness, with the OP standing tall against his girlfriend’s demand to nix a long-planned group getaway. Reddit users backed his choice, blasted her controlling streak, laughed at her FOMO-driven logic, and questioned the relationship’s balance.

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A heartfelt talk could ease tensions, but his right to enjoy the weekend with friends stands firm. What’s your verdict? Was he wrong to prioritize his plans, or was her demand a bridge too far? Share your thoughts below!

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