AITA for refusing to continue to babysit my niece and nephew?

A mother’s decision to stop babysitting her niece and nephew has unleashed a family firestorm. After agreeing to temporarily watch her brother’s kids when their daycare closed, the 35-year-old, still on maternity leave, asked for $100 a week to cover costs. Her brother’s refusal and harsh words led her to end the arrangement, prompting a social media smear campaign.

This story, shared on social media, captures the tension between family favors and personal limits. With three young kids of her own, her choice has divided opinions, pulling readers into a relatable debate about fairness and family duty.

AITA for refusing to continue to babysit my niece and nephew?

The situation began when her brother and sister-in-law faced a childcare crisis.

My (35F) husband, Dustin (42M) and I have three kids, all boys ages 7, 5 and 8 months. My brother Chris (37M) and sister in law Rachel (33F) have two...

My husband went back when our little one was 4 months. Chris and Rachel came to my husband and I about 2 months ago saying their daycare could no longer...

I told them I would be willing to so long as it was temporary and not long term. Both assured me they were seeking out a new center that could...

Initially, the arrangement worked, but doubts soon crept in.

The first few weeks were fine but as it’s been longer and longer, my husband and I are staring to doubt they are actually looking for a new center. They’ve...

A park outing led to a candid conversation about the situation.

We took all the kids to a park on Saturday and I spoke with my brother about whether or jot they had found a mew daycare. He said they had...

I told him I completely understood and reminded him me keeping the kids was supposed to be temporary. I asked him if he and Rachel could start paying me $100/week...

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Her brother’s reaction escalated the tension significantly.

He called me outrageous for even asking citing “we’re family.” I tried explaining how much more money my husband and I were spending having them in the house 5 days...

At this point, I told him I would no longer be watching the kids and not to bring them Monday (yesterday) morning.

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The fallout spread online, drawing in family and friends.

Since Saturday, Chris and Rachel have blasted Dustin and I on social media which has caused all kinds of friends and extended family to reach out, many calling us assholes...

When my mom reached out I explain the above and she’s now on on mine and Dustin’s side. Rachel, Rachel’s sister, and my brother have continued to text Dustin and...

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Dustin and I are really having a hard time wrapping our heads around us being the assholes in this situation so we figured we’d ask Reddit who the assholes are...

The mother’s decision to stop babysitting reflects a need to protect her family’s resources and well-being. Caring for two additional young children, alongside her own three, including an infant, is a significant burden, especially during her recovery from childbirth complications. Her request for $100 a week—likely far below standard daycare costs—was reasonable, yet her brother’s dismissal and insults show a lack of gratitude.

Her brother and sister-in-law’s failure to actively seek new daycare suggests they were exploiting her generosity. Their social media attacks further indicate entitlement, turning a personal dispute into public shaming. As family therapist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and appreciation.” Their refusal to contribute financially or acknowledge her efforts violates this principle.

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From a social lens, this situation underscores the pressure family members often face to provide unpaid labor under the guise of “family duty.” Her brother’s “lazy” comment dismisses her health needs, reflecting broader societal expectations on mothers. She could consider a calm, firm conversation to reiterate her boundaries, offering a short grace period for them to find new childcare. Exploring local daycare options herself to share with them might ease the transition. Therapy could help her navigate family dynamics and manage stress from the backlash.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many users supported the mother, emphasizing her right to set boundaries.

Catlore − NTA. They're taking advantage of you. I'd honestly call their old daycare to see if they really closed, and if not, do they have spots and how much...

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(EDIT: OP confirmed the daycare really did close.) I'm not one for getting into it on social media, but you might respond something like: "I have my own three kids,...

I agreed with the condition that it was short term. It's now been two months, and you have not made any strides towards finding a new daycare. "You have also...

or bath supplies, and now you are trying to shame me for putting my own family's needs first. You're not even willing to pay me $100 a week to partly...

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Well, good news, I'll be returning to work soon, and need to dedicate my remaining time off solely to my own children. Please make arrangements now, because after [date, maybe...

"If anyone in our circles of family and friends thinks I'm wrong, they're free to either take up the job or pitch in to pay us back for the costs...

Foggy_Radish − NTA. It's so hard to say no and stand firm on your boundaries, good job! I ended up in your position for well over a year for the...

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And they never looked for one (in my case). You and your husband have every right to say no to them using you like that. for all those calling you...

 

FancyPantsDancer − NTA- $100 a week sounds like it could just cover what you're spending on them for supplies. Your brother loses his daycare from you because he resorted to...

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Calling you daycare for still being on extended maternity leave was really low. Resorting to social media is never the answer. Rachel's sister can either provide daycare or cough up...

 

OneEyedMilkman87 − They knew they were taking liberties with your generosity, and are upset and angry that their free unlimited childcare is ending. NTA. P. s you sound like good...

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If they are going to cuss you out because you stop doing them a huge favour, it's a "them problem". Best of luck!

Some highlighted the family’s entitlement and suggested stronger measures.

Individual_Ad_9213 − NTA. Two months is way more than enough time for them to have found new day care placements for their children. Their failure to even offer to contribute...

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BigBigBigTree − he called me lazy for still being on leave when my baby is 8 months old "Alright well then I'm going back to work and you can watch...

Emergency_Ad_5935 − NTA. The fact they won’t even cover their own children’s expenses says everything. They’re cheap, and they’ve been taking advantage of you.

A few injected humor to lighten the mood.

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BurnAfterEating420 − Rachel, Rachel’s sister, and my brother have continued to text Dustin and I about what selfish assholes we are for not helping them in their time of need....

NTA They had a good thing going, refused to pay a pittance amount compared to what daycare WAS costing them, and decided to go into insult mode too. this is...

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extinct_diplodocus − NTA. Congratulations on closing your (unpaid) daycare center! They took your favor to them and turned it into an entitlement.

After two months, it's apparent they thought they had a good thing going and were never going to look for a costly alternative. Ignore the flying monkeys. Eventually, they'll become...

Specific-Succotash-8 − Good lord, no, NTA. They’re just pissed because their free childcare is going away. They were taking advantage of you in a huge way, and their lack of...

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This mother’s choice to end free babysitting for her brother’s kids was a stand for fairness after her reasonable request for compensation was met with insults. While her brother and sister-in-law’s public shaming paints them as victims, her focus on her family’s needs resonates with many. Should family always help without expecting anything in return? Share your thoughts below.

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