AITA for not wanting the share my wedding left overs with my SIL?

Have you ever felt your belongings were taken by a family member without your permission? A newlywed couple faced this exact issue when the bride’s sister-in-law (SIL) helped herself to a large portion of their wedding leftovers, stored at the mother-in-law’s house. To make matters worse, the SIL later called to ask for more cookies and cupcakes for work. The bride’s anger sparked a fight with her husband just days after their wedding.

This situation raises questions about family boundaries and respect. Was the bride petty for getting upset, or did her SIL cross a line? Let’s dive into the story and the lively reactions from the online community.

‘AITA for not wanting the share my wedding left overs with my SIL?’

The couple entrusted the mother-in-law to store their wedding leftovers.

AITA or am I just being petty over my SIL raiding my wedding leftovers. So my wedding was a Saturday and we had guests in from out of town leaving...

I easily had 8 trays of food, 10 boxes of cupcakes and 3 trays of cupcakes left. We arrived Monday after the wedding to retrieve our stuff to take to...

The bride’s frustration grew when she learned her SIL took the food.

I was furious but bit my tongue until a couple days later. Turns out the SIL went and raided our stuff taking food and cookies to take home with her....

The same day we picked up our stuff we also received a phone call she wanted more of our cookies and cupcakes to take to work. AITA for getting pissed...

I was furious but bit my tongue until a couple days later. Turns out the SIL went and raided our stuff taking food and cookies to take home with her....

The same day we picked up our stuff we also received a phone call she wanted more of our cookies and cupcakes to take to work. AITA for getting pissed...

The bride clarifies her anger and the broader family dynamic.

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Update for those asking. The food was pack up and taken to MIL’s house following the reception because she had the room at the time to keep it for us...

Had the SIL asked I would have been more than willing to share it was a decent amount of food and sweets. I’m upset that she didn’t ask us, took...

I’m not a selfish person but i was upset when I wanted to get something it was gone. I’ve said to my husband many times while we were dating about...

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and he just blows it off maybe because he knows how his family is. Don’t get me wrong I love my in-laws but sometimes they really over step their boundaries

This situation highlights the importance of boundaries within family dynamics.

The bride felt violated when her SIL took most of the wedding leftovers without asking. This action shows a lack of respect for the couple’s property. Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship expert, emphasizes: “Respecting personal boundaries builds trust.” — Gary Chapman (Ph.D., Psychology), The 5 Love Languages, 1992. The SIL needs to understand that taking items without permission is unacceptable.

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At the same time, the husband’s dismissive attitude worsened the conflict. He should prioritize his wife and address his family’s boundary violations.

Beyond that, storing the food at the mother-in-law’s house created confusion about ownership. The couple needs to set clear rules when entrusting items to others.

Suggestions include discussing family boundaries openly. The husband should address his sister’s behavior directly. Additionally, planning how to share leftovers in advance can prevent misunderstandings. Clear communication is key to resolving such issues.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The online community on social media buzzed with opinions, from outrage at the SIL’s actions to calls for a calmer resolution.

Most supported the bride, calling the SIL’s actions disrespectful.

ckptry − NTA I could see her taking a tray or two of food but she took 5 trays of food and 7 boxes of cookies in 1 day if...

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Europeangirl101 − NTA. Why? Just why do some people think they're entitled to someone else's belongings? And without even asking? Also, your new husband has to start learning which family...

Tall1SF − NTA. It sounds as if you had a lot of leftover food. She had no right to just take the food YOU paid for. if she had asked...

Some highlighted the absurdity of the SIL’s behavior and the mother-in-law’s role.

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icepeak12222222 − NTA this is just not done. It is consulted beforehand. And usualy if even the close family doesnt offer you dont even ask.

And one thing is to maybe think you are entitled to take without asking. Ok you might act on this and take one ration of each not polish more than...

It almost sounds like the mother in law said to her daughter What on earth they will do with this stuff you take it. ... I mean a mother of...

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IamMaggieMoo − That is beyond rude and I would probably let SIL know that you'd had plans for the food from YOUR wedding. Perhaps when it is her birthday or...

MIL didn't even have the decency to contact you first and ask if it is okay. They were in her fridge so she should have said to SIL you can't...

A few suggested it might be a misunderstanding and offered diplomatic solutions.

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SnooHesitations9269 − NTA. Did you have plans for all the items? If so, she needs to replace them. If there was a casual feel that people can take things home...

You’re running high on wedding emotions - congrats btw ! - and this soured the afterglow. Of course you’re angry she didn’t ask and she just took. And that’s ok!

fallingintopolkadots − NTA. It sounds like SIL took a LOT of food, food that you and your new husband paid for. While it sounds like there was a ton leftover...

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(since they were told they could take at the wedding, and this was after the wedding). I think you should have asked what you wanted to keep and how much...

On the other hand, I do think that it would be best to ere on the side of it being a miscommunication and not have been done with malice and...

(maybe she considered the wedding weekend to be included, or MIL didn't want to bother you, and / or that there was so much food that would seem to go...

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MenAreLazy − NAH unless there is proof of malice. This could easily be a case of unclear expectations. Keep in mind I allowed people to take togo stuff from the...

and clearly your MIL was under that impression as well as she let SIL take it. Not only that, SIL called to ask about more, which she wouldn't do if...

Some focused on the husband’s role and the need for family boundaries.

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MabsMessenger − INFO: Who made/paid for the food? ETA: NTA for sure! You paid for the food; you decide who gets the leftovers. SIL is an entitled AH. Draw the...

If your spouse doesn't back you on this and address his family's line crossing (and it's his job, not yours), then he's an AH, too.

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Jaded-Permission-324 − NTA OP, and since your husband doesn’t appear to have your back on this, I’d suggest going to marriage counseling, or the next thing y’all will be discussing...

Just going by what you said, your SIL Is so entitled that she thinks it’s okay to take copious amounts of food without asking for permission first, which makes her...

Others asked for more details or suggested a direct approach.

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Comprehensive-Fun47 − What did you say on the phone call? “No, there’s no more food for you to take to work. Actually, I had plans to keep all of the...

Avlonnic2 − INFO: What was your MIL’s involvement and understanding when you sent the food to her home?

theassholethrowawa − Info: Why did you start fighting with your husband?

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[Reddit User] − NTA. .. "No we wont be giving up any more of our food, our supply has been diminished more then we expected already. Next time please ask...

Clearly, the online community split into various perspectives, from outrage at the lack of respect to calls for a calm resolution.

This story shows how a lack of respect for boundaries can hurt even during joyful moments like a wedding. Most of the community supported the bride, emphasizing that her SIL should not have taken the food. However, some suggested it might be a misunderstanding and urged a gentle approach. The husband’s indifference escalated the conflict, highlighting deeper issues.

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Clear boundaries with family are essential. Open communication prevents misunderstandings. The couple needs to agree on handling similar situations moving forward. What would you do if a family member took your belongings without asking? How do you set boundaries while keeping family harmony?

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