AITA For not knowing if I want to attend my sons wedding?

A 58-year-old mother stands at a crossroads, grappling with a decision that’s tearing her heart apart: should she attend her son’s wedding to the woman he cheated with? Her 36-year-old son, a surgeon, is marrying his mistress, Kimberly, just six months after divorcing his high school sweetheart, Lindsey.

The twist is, her husband is all in for the wedding, brushing off the affair as water under the bridge. Social media users have chimed in, and their takes are as fiery as you’d expect. From calling out the son’s behavior to questioning the husband’s silence, this story dives into family secrets, trust, and the messy aftermath of infidelity. Let’s unpack this emotional rollercoaster.

‘AITA For not knowing if I want to attend my sons wedding?’

Family ties and heartbreak set the stage for this drama.

My (58F) son (36M) is marrying his mistress (44F) six months after he divorced his first wife. For context, my son and his ex-wife, whom we will call "Lindsey,"

met and started dating when they were freshman in high school. They got married when they were 26 and were married for 10 years. I loved Lindsey; she was so...

What makes it even more complicated is how the truth came to light.

My son is a surgeon, and she always supported him. My son divorced his wife six months ago; he was cheating on her with another woman named "Kimberly." I found...

Beyond that, the mother’s trust in her husband took a hit.

I told my husband, but it turned out he always knew about the affair. I asked him why he didn't tell me, and he said it wasn't his business and...

he said this was their marriage, not ours, and they needed to figure it out. I told Lindsey about the affair, and when Lindsey confronted him, my son told her...

The final twist comes with the wedding invitation and a tough choice.

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They divorced, and my son and Kimberly got engaged. Their wedding is in two weeks, and I was invited, but I don't know if I want to go. Lindsey was...

I'm still upset that my husband didn't tell me, and I told my son I don't know if I want to attend his wedding, and he replied, "If you don't...

I told him I didn't want him to, but he said, "I'm going to my son's wedding. I don't like that he cheated, but it happened, and there isn't anything...

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The situation is a tangled web of loyalty, betrayal, and moral dilemmas. The mother’s hesitation to attend her son’s wedding stems from her disapproval of his infidelity and her lingering affection for Lindsey. At the same time, her husband’s secrecy adds another layer of distrust, making her question the family’s values. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Trust is built in very small moments… when someone chooses to prioritize honesty and vulnerability” (Gottman Institute, 2023). The husband’s decision to withhold the truth may have fractured that trust.

From a psychological standpoint, the mother’s conflict reflects a struggle between familial duty and personal ethics. Supporting her son’s wedding could feel like condoning his actions, while staying away risks alienating him. Socially, infidelity often carries a stigma, yet many families sweep it under the rug to maintain harmony. This case highlights how such choices ripple through relationships, affecting not just the couple but the entire family.

What makes it even more complicated is the husband’s stance. His acceptance of the affair as “done and dusted” suggests a pragmatic approach, but it dismisses the mother’s emotional turmoil. This dynamic raises questions about communication and alignment in their marriage. Should she attend to keep the peace or stand firm in her principles?

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

The online crowd didn’t hold back, offering a mix of support, skepticism, and sharp insights. From cheers for standing up to infidelity to side-eyes at the husband’s silence, the comments paint a vivid picture of divided opinions.

This group rallies behind the mother, urging her to hold her son accountable and questioning the family’s moral compass.

ketocavegirl − I wish more people held their friends and family accountable for their behavior. A lot of people, especially parents, feel they have to support their adult family through...

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I feel like this just enables the person. Why would they start making better decisions if there are basically no consequences? If they know they are going to lose respect,...

[Reddit User] − NTA This is a messed up situation and your son did something the average person should find unforgivable. I say stick by your guns. The reason you...

and more about you probably having better morals - I doubt you wouldn't have said something to Lindsey if you knew as long as your husband did (and frankly, him...

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DryContract8916 − NTA exactly what your son said, don’t support him cheating on his wife and marrying his mistress after six months… you have every right not to support him.

These commenters pull no punches, slamming both the son and husband for their roles in the drama.

gingergirl73 − Your son and your husband are both AH’s. Your son for cheating and your husband because he basically supported the affair. He knew about it and never said...

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Tells you so much about his character. I wouldn’t go to the wedding either and I’d be skeptical on how much you can trust your spouse at this point.

SnooWords4839 − NTA - Since your husband is pro cheating, you need to check the state of your marriage.

Accordingtowho2021 − NTA but I wonder if your husband has cheated on you before. I also wonder if your son found out and kept it a secret. Something to think...

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This group speculates on the husband’s motives and the family’s history, adding a layer of intrigue.

[Reddit User] − Personally I wouldn’t go. I don’t support a**ltery and lies.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I'm sorry this happened. A heads up that your son likely learned this behavior, though. Your husband seems incredibly adept at lying, or at least keeping...

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And I can't imagine anyone in my family having the audacity to marry the mistress 6 months later. It's clear your husband gave your son the signal that this was...

It makes me wonder how early your son was receiving the message that this is okay, and what other secrets they've been keeping from you pertaining to "other women" throughout...

Kampfzwerg0 − Your husband lied to you. That’s your bigger problem. He lied to you and kept a secret. Wouldn’t be the first time. I would be so mad if...

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Has he ever thought about what it does to your DIL? That she could have get an STD because of him? Your husband did two horrible things. He supported his...

Fun-Yellow-6576 − NTA. Why is your son getting married? He obviously doesn’t believe in the sacrament of marriage! You can stay home and miss it if you don’t feel you...

The community’s takes range from principled stands to biting suspicion, reflecting the complexity of family loyalty and betrayal.

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This story lays bare the messy reality of family dynamics when trust is broken. The mother’s torn between her love for her son and her disapproval of his actions, while her husband’s secrecy adds fuel to the fire. Social media users are split—some champion her right to skip the wedding, while others dig into deeper issues, like the husband’s questionable loyalty. The situation leaves no easy answers, only tough choices.

What would you do in her shoes—attend the wedding to keep the family intact or stay away to stand by your values? How would you handle a spouse who kept such a secret? Share your thoughts below!

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