AITA for skipping my own wedding to see my dying grandma?

A man faced a heart-wrenching choice: postpone his carefully planned wedding to stay by his dying grandmother’s side. This story dives deep into the clash between family loyalty and romantic commitment. He chose to remain at the care home with the woman who raised him, rather than walking down the aisle. But that decision left his fiancée feeling hurt and humiliated.

The tale spread like wildfire across social media, sparking heated debates. Some praised his devotion to family, while others questioned his fiancée’s lack of empathy. Was he wrong to prioritize his grandmother over his wedding? Let’s unpack this emotional story.

‘AITA for skipping my own wedding to see my dying grandma?’

The story kicks off with a glimpse into a deep family connection, where this man was raised by his loving grandmother.

This actually happened about 5 months ago, but since my girlfriend (no longer engaged) refuses to let it go, and I honestly don’t think I’m in the wrong, I figured...

Now, my biological mother is a useless d**g addict that I’ve never cared for nor wished to pursue a relationship with. She left me with my grandma and I was...

The twist is, just days before the wedding, a call from the care home changed everything.

About a year ago, we (me and my uncles) had to put grandma in a care home. This was a hard decision to make, but we simply didn’t have the...

Fast forward to my wedding, a few days beforehand we get a call from the care home saying grandma’s condition was deteriorating rapidly and she most likely would pass away...

Beyond that, tensions flared when he tried explaining his decision to his fiancée.

She doesn’t pass as soon as expected and it extends up until the day of my wedding. I called my fiancée multiple times and explained we had to postpone the...

Not only was I not in the best state of mind (again, she’s my mother to me) but I needed to be by her side when she passed. I felt...

ADVERTISEMENT

My fiancée was extremely (to put it mildly) opposed to this and insisted I get ready as soon as possible. She obviously did not want months of planning to go...

She also said there was no point in me being there since she won’t even know I’m there due to her dementia. I understand why it might seem that to...

What makes it even more complicated, this choice left a crack in their relationship.

ADVERTISEMENT

She ended up passing the night of my wedding. My fiancée didn’t talk to me for roughly two weeks before we finally began patching things up. She said I was...

She thinks that as my fiancée she should take top priority no matter what. My opinion is that weddings can be rescheduled (albeit costly) and being with my grandma when...

So yeah that’s the back story. We have both agreed to go with the majority judgement given here and move on from it. Will answer questions when possible but will...

ADVERTISEMENT

This story cuts to the core of a tough question: is it wrong to choose family over a partner in a moment of crisis?

The man saw his grandmother as his true mother, the one who raised him. His decision to stay by her side during her final moments stemmed from deep gratitude and duty. Yet, his fiancée felt sidelined, believing her role as his soon-to-be wife should come first. Her frustration is understandable—cancelling a wedding is costly and embarrassing.

But her comment that “there was no point” in him being there due to his grandmother’s dementia reveals a lack of empathy. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, once said, “Understanding and supporting each other is the bedrock of a lasting partnership” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). Her absence during his grief raises red flags about their compatibility.

ADVERTISEMENT

Society often expects partners to prioritize each other, but that doesn’t mean abandoning family. A loved one’s death is a one-time event; a wedding can wait. Her inflexibility hints at deeper issues that could haunt their future.

Advice: Sit down and openly discuss your priorities and values. Consider couples’ counseling to navigate crises together. Reflect on whether you both can build a relationship rooted in mutual respect and understanding.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Social media lit up with opinions on this story, from heartfelt support to sharp criticism, with a dash of humor thrown in. The community largely split into those backing the man’s choice and those waving red flags about his fiancée’s behavior.

ADVERTISEMENT

Most users rallied behind him, arguing that being with his grandmother was non-negotiable.

[Reddit User] − NTA, Weddings can be re-aranged, the death of a loved one can not.

tropicaldiver − NTA. In fact, she would no longer be my GF. The "I should always be most important" argument rings h**low with me. Why? Because it is all about...

ADVERTISEMENT

A spouse wanting you to go to the grocery for milk is not more important than caring for a sick friend (as an example). Here, we have two major life...

One can be rescheduled and one cannot. Simple: postpone the wedding and be with your grandparent. And here is where I judge her harshly: If you had done the wedding,...

And you would have hated the wedding itself and, ultimately, likely resented her as well. She was putting her very narrow interests over your well being and honoring someone important...

ADVERTISEMENT

ixxaria − NTA- Yes I get when you marry someone you are creating a new family with that person. But to me it's pretty basic. If she loved you like...

(who if I read between the lines is your world when it comes to family) was going down, she should have rallied her family and friends and started calling every...

and that the wedding is still going to happen but right now the man she loves needs her and so the wedding will be rescheduled. The fact is that if...

ADVERTISEMENT

She had a chance to do that even before taking the vow and she failed. If she was upset about not getting to marry you, she could have supported you...

Sounds like the wedding itself with it's pomp and circumstance was what really mattered in this case. I hope you really look at that before you move forward together.

Yeah the invested money in a ceremony and party was probably a hit, but no money will ever be equivalent to the final moments you had with your grandma.

ADVERTISEMENT

Some didn’t just support him—they slammed his fiancée’s lack of compassion, urging him to rethink the relationship.

w3iss − Your grandma did one good thing for you before she left: she showed you the true colors of your girlfriend. NTA.

[Reddit User] − NTA. And what’s really telling about your girlfriends character ( or lack thereof) is her statement, “There was no point in me being there since she won’t...

ADVERTISEMENT

If she couldn’t empathize and mourn the death of your mother figure with you, she clearly isn’t the one for you. As a nurse who deals with death, dementia &...

Yes your grandma may have lost her ability to speak, take care of herself, and remember your name, but don’t doubt that some part of her recognized you. Your voice,...

Dying is scary business, but I’m sure that some part of her took comfort in you being there with her, and I hope you take comfort from that knowledge as...

ADVERTISEMENT

notyouraveragestupid − NTA. First of all OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Your pain is unimaginable to me and I am so sorry you have to go through...

If my fiancé had a loved one on their deathbed literally DAYS before the wedding, I would INSTANTLY postpone the wedding. Even if your g-ma had passed within the hour...

ADVERTISEMENT

Are you expected to push all that sadness down because your wedding is supposed to be a “happy time”? I understand there is an incredible amount of planning that goes...

This is a ridiculous mind set to have and can will be toxic for your marriage. I strongly strongly urge you to drop this girl. You need to be surrounded...

You deserve to be with someone cares more about being with you than throwing a party. Again, I’m sorry you had to go through this situation, but run dude, run.

ADVERTISEMENT

GissNiaMia1819 − NTA in any way! First off, YOUR MOTHER FIGURE WAS DYING AND WHERE TF WAS YOUR FIANCE? !? The fact that she wasn't by your side while you...

Seriously? !? Weddings are a party. The end. A marriage is work, and sometimes that work is inconvenient and painful but supporting your partner through the trials of life is...

If she was a committed partner, she wouldn't have been arguing with you over the phone about attending the wedding. She would have been by your side helping to make...

ADVERTISEMENT

Please consider the tragic timing of your wonderful grandmother's passing as the best and last gift she could have given you. Your fiance's true character has been revealed, she only...

Good luck in everything, you sound like such a wonderful, stand up dude. Obviously grandma did right in raising you.

Also, I created a profile on reddit JUST to make this comment because I can’t believe that people are being sympathetic to the GF. GTF over it! It’s a god...

ADVERTISEMENT

A few comments brought humor or curiosity, while still leaning toward supporting him.

huge-red-flag-co − NTA Please give us a call. Our business suits your needs.

flxrence − NTA, but just out of complete curiosity. .. She said I was completely assholish to her and humiliated her by not showing up INFO: You called ahead to...

and she GOT READY, turned up for the guests and let everyone believe you left her at the altar? There are some pretty big red flags in her behaviour, OP,...

PoopDoopTrixie − NTA. I, PERSONALLY. .. would not be with this person following such an incident. This is a HUGE loss, a death of the person who cared for you...

A wedding can be rescheduled. Or just turned into a giant party if everyone on the guestlist is there and updated on why you're absent. I mean. ... I MEAN....

Would ANY your wedding guests have kicked up s**t if someone made an annoucement like, "Hey, the woman who raised the groom is dying, he went to be with his...

Let's say a prayer, send out good vibes, and try to enjoy the event with love and gratitude in his absence. " I'm trying to stay tactful here. .... NTA....

One comment called him out, but with a humorous twist.

mylifeforthehorde − YTA for not dumping her ass out of your life after this stupidity.

One comment was garbled, likely deleted or anonymized.

cuntliflower − attractive rich dog pet attraction run sugar sheet elastic nutty This post was mass deleted and anonymized with

Social media overwhelmingly sided with the man, praising his loyalty to his grandmother. Many saw his fiancée’s reaction as a warning sign, urging him to reconsider the relationship.

This story highlights a raw conflict between family and love. He chose to be with his grandmother—the woman who raised him—in her final moments, but that left his fiancée feeling abandoned. Both have valid feelings, yet the question remains: can these priorities be reconciled?

What do you think of his choice? If you faced a similar situation, would you prioritize a major event like a wedding or the final moments with a loved one? Share your thoughts!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *