AITA for not supporting my brother’s relationship with my cheating ex and not attending their wedding?

A family feud erupted when a man discovered his brother was dating his cheating ex. After a painful breakup three years ago, the 25-year-old was shocked to learn his 26-year-old brother was now engaged to the woman who betrayed him repeatedly during their five-year relationship. His refusal to support their wedding has split the family, with his sisters backing him and others pleading for peace.

The decision to boycott the backyard wedding has ignited heated arguments, with the brother dismissing the man’s pain as immaturity. Torn between loyalty to himself and family pressure, he’s standing his ground, but the emotional toll is heavy. This raw story of betrayal, sibling rivalry, and moral conviction pulls readers into a messy debate about forgiveness and boundaries. Was he right to take a stand, or should he let it go?

AITA for not supporting my brother's relationship with my cheating ex and not attending their wedding?

The heartbreak began three years ago when the man caught his ex cheating repeatedly.

I (25m) broke up with my ex (24f) three years ago after she cheated on me a bunch of times. I didn't know she was cheating for a long time...

One of her friends spilled that she'd been hooking up with random guys in clubs every time she went out with them. I broke up with her that night. We'd...

His brother’s new relationship with the ex blindsided him, sparking feelings of betrayal.

It was a huge deal for me. 5 years we'd been together too and I loved her but I don't believe she ever loved me.. My family knows what happened...

My brother (26m) had a long time girlfriend when I was with my ex and when we broke up. They broke up last year and then he started dating my...

Family opinions split, with some supporting the man while others urged reconciliation.

My sisters (22f and 29f) are on my side and think he's s**tty to date her but the rest of the family are like *maybe she's grown* and *it's not...

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The wedding announcement pushed the man to take a firm stand against attending.

* I have never supported their relationship and a few weeks before Christmas they announced they were getting married and sent out wedding invites for March of this year. It's...

Family pressure intensified, but the man held firm, questioning his brother’s loyalty.

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My brother's pissed. Our other two brothers (24m and 28m) and our parents are like please don't do this. My brothers think I'm being s**tty to the other brother and...

My brother told me he'd support me. I asked him how he'd like for me to find his ex and marry her and he was like that's different and their...

I told him he was marrying the woman who cheated on me and he doesn't see why that would p**s me off. It's a whole thing but I'm standing my...

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The man’s refusal to support his brother’s wedding stems from deep hurt and a sense of betrayal. His ex’s repeated infidelity shattered his trust, and his brother’s choice to marry her feels like a second blow, especially given their close sibling bond. The man’s decision to boycott, supported by his sisters, reflects a need to protect his emotional well-being, while the family’s push for unity highlights differing views on loyalty and forgiveness.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner notes, “Betrayal by a sibling can feel as profound as romantic betrayal, as it violates family trust” (The Dance of Connection, 2001). The brother’s dismissal of the man’s pain as immaturity suggests a lack of empathy, which fuels the conflict. Socially, many view dating a sibling’s ex—especially one with a history of cheating—as a breach of loyalty, as reflected in supportive online comments.

The family’s pressure to “let it go” may stem from a desire to avoid conflict, but it risks invalidating the man’s feelings. His brothers’ suggestion to let the marriage fail naturally ignores the emotional toll of attending a wedding tied to his trauma. A healthier approach would have been for the brother to acknowledge the man’s pain before pursuing the relationship, fostering open dialogue.

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The man’s stance is justified, but a conversation with his brother—calmly explaining his hurt and setting boundaries—could clarify intentions. If the brother remains dismissive, the man is wise to prioritize his peace. Moving forward, he should lean on supportive family members, like his sisters, and consider therapy to process lingering pain from the breakup and this new betrayal. The family must respect his boundaries to heal the rift.

Check out how the community responded:

Many users backed the man, condemning his brother’s lack of loyalty.

Sassy-Peanut − Not the AH - Give your brother a large box of penicillin as a wedding present then wait for him to come crying to you when she cheats....

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Ok_Childhood_9774 − NTA. Just tell your brother you're showing him the same loyalty he and your cheating ex showed you: none. It's disappointing that your parents and other brothers support...

Any-Expression2246 − You don't have to support anything you don't feel is right to support. Knowing what she's done, your brother sounds like a dumbass. Why would anyone want to...

Cursd818 − NTA Tell the rest of your family how disgusted you are by their behaviour, and that it makes you question how many of them have loose morals and...

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Your brother trashed your family, and everyone siding with him is also trash reconsider whether you want anything to do with such despicable people going forward. And your sisters are...

Some users dug deeper, questioning the brother’s motives or the story’s context.

wishingforarainyday − NTA but your brother is a major one. I wonder if they cheated while you were still in a relationship. It might be worth a conversation with his...

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Your parents and brothers are jerks too for supporting his garbage behavior. I hope they all see these comments. Why would they expect the person who was hurt be the...

ghjkl098 − How sure are you that he wasn’t f**king her while she was with you?

Sad-Librarian-5179 − NTA. & to be totally crass. ..updateme when he discovers her cheating.

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A few brought humor to lighten the heavy mood.

GuanoLouco − Ask his ex to be your date to the wedding. Then you don’t need to speculate how he would like it

Amazing-Wave4704 − NTA. You and your sisters should plan some trip for that weekend and just leave town. ...

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Tipsy-boo − NTA The fact he expects his family to help with his wedding to someone who hurt someone else in the family is laughable.

The man’s refusal to attend his brother’s wedding to his cheating ex has torn his family apart, highlighting raw wounds and clashing loyalties. His stance, backed by his sisters, prioritizes his emotional health, while his brother and other family members dismiss his pain, urging forgiveness. Social media users largely support him, though some suspect hidden layers to the betrayal.

The situation raises questions about family loyalty and healing from past hurts. Should he hold his ground, or try to mend the rift? How would you navigate this family drama?

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One Comment

  1. I think you need to be mature. We all have relationships that don’t work out. She was your girlfriend, be grateful you weren’t married
    If you don’t want to be at the wedding, don’t go. Wish them both well for their future together.

    If it doesn’t work out you can always gently say I told you so (if you must).

    If it does work out , you won’t have lost your relationship with your brother…