AITA for saying I don’t support a family friend’s choice to be a teen parent, even though I was a teen parent?

A man who became a father at 15 was asked by a coworker to guide his 16-year-old daughter, who’s planning to get pregnant. Shocked, he refused to offer advice on managing teen parenthood, believing it’s a risky choice he can’t endorse. His coworker’s anger sparked a heated debate, leaving him wondering if he’s in the wrong.

This story stirred tension at work, at the same time igniting a firestorm of opinions on social media. Should he have helped, or was standing firm the right move? Let’s dive into his story, the community’s reactions, and expert insights on navigating this tricky situation.

‘AITA for saying I don’t support a family friend’s choice to be a teen parent, even though I was a teen parent?’

This man shares his journey of becoming a father as a teenager—a path full of challenges, even with family support.

So, I (31M) became a dad at the grand age of 15, and then again at 17. My kids are now 16 and 14, and I’m still married to their...

My son was conceived through a lack of birth control, and my daughter happened due to a very rare case of my then-girlfriend’s birth control not working. We had very...

I’m not naive enough to think that we weren’t extremely lucky to have supportive families who helped out with both finances and childcare.

That said, it wasn’t exactly easy to be a dad so young, and even though I wouldn’t give my kids up for anything in the world, I would delay having...

The drama kicked off when a coworker made an unexpected ask, revealing a plan that caught this dad off guard.

A couple of weeks ago my coworker ‘Dave’ (late 40s/early 50s) asked me to speak to his daughter ‘Lily’, who’s 16. Dave told me that Lily is planning to get...

Obviously, I took this to mean that he wanted me to dissuade Lily but I figured out this wasn’t the case about five minutes in to the conversation with Dave....

Refusing to play along, the man stood his ground, leading to a fiery argument and some self-doubt.

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I just told him there was no chance in hell. I’m not about to help a 16 year old girl who’s actively deciding to have a baby. If she was...

Having a baby is a scary situation if you weren’t planning it (hell, it’s scary anyway) and it’s even worse as a teenager.

Dave turned very angry and told me that his daughter needs my advice, saying I was useless if I wasn’t going to help her.I flat out refused because I’m not...

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I think I might be the AH because Lily is clearly going to try get pregnant regardless of my opinion, and she’ll need some advice - advice that will probably...

On the other hand, I don’t think I’m the AH because teenage pregnancy is f**king dangerous and I don’t anyone should actively try become a teen mum/dad. AITA?

Becoming a parent as a teen is tough, but should someone who’s been there encourage a teen’s deliberate choice to follow suit?

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This man’s refusal to advise Lily stems from his own grueling experience as a teen dad. Despite his success—thanks to rare family support—he knows the physical, emotional, and financial toll of teen parenthood. His stance isn’t judgmental; it’s protective, rooted in the reality of health risks and lost opportunities. He’d help if Lily were accidentally pregnant, but endorsing a planned pregnancy feels like enabling a dangerous choice.

Dave’s anger, though, highlights a disconnect in parenting priorities. His support for Lily’s plan raises red flags about her well-being, as teen pregnancies carry risks like higher maternal complications and educational setbacks. Social media echoes this, questioning Dave’s role and urging caution. The broader societal view warns against normalizing teen parenthood without serious reflection.

Dr. Laurence Steinberg, a leading adolescent psychologist, notes, “The teenage brain isn’t fully equipped for major life decisions like parenting, often leading to long-term consequences” (Age of Opportunity). This underscores the need for guidance, not encouragement, in such cases.

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Advice: Dave should seek a counselor or family therapist to discuss Lily’s intentions and their risks. The man could offer to meet Lily, sharing his struggles as a teen dad to gently discourage her plan. Both should connect Lily with educational resources on reproductive health to inform her decision.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The online crowd didn’t hold back, dishing out shock, wit, and concern over this wild situation. Here’s what they had to say.

These commenters slam Dave’s support for his daughter’s plan, backing the man’s refusal to get involved.

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discolemonvde − NTA. If you go in and give her advice it’ll give her even more reason to get pregnant. It is her fathers job to talk some sense into...

[Reddit User] − Of course you're NTA. You're against her getting pregnant specifically because you know how difficult it was and how against-the-odds it was that you succeeded despite having...

And frankly the fact that your 50something coworker is not only supportive of but seemingly pushing his 16 year old daughter to get pregnant is f**king creepy as all hell.

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EverydayEverynight01 − NTA Hold the fk up. That 16yo girl is PLANNING on getting pregnant and her father supports that? What in the fk that is messed up. People, you...

With clever analogies, this group supports the man’s stance, stressing that past struggles don’t obligate him to back a risky choice.

theexyon − NTA - Just because I've been in a car accident once doesn't mean I'm morally inclined to advise other people on how to deliberately demolish their vehicle.

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Eliyora − NTA - Dave sounds like an irresponsible parent by endorsing his 16-year-old in having a baby. You're honestly in the right to not support it IMHO. Teen pregnancy...

These folks worry about Lily’s situation and suggest stronger interventions, like reporting or counseling.

wonderingmind72211 − NTA. You went through it and you know how hard it is. He should be the one listening to you. ..and why is he supporting her on getting...

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kiraIsuAlivr − NTA. You're just not going against your better judgement. It's stupid for dave to ask you flr advicr and then get mad that your advice was "don't do...

Daydreams_of_pretty − NTA. Is it possible this is a situation you could report to child protective services (or a similar derive if not in the US). Her parent isn’t promoting...

This group argues the man has no duty to help, and Dave and Lily should seek resources elsewhere.

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thatcanadianlife − NTA. I think you if you met with Lily you would be encouraging this insane idea. I can’t believe Dave is even encouraging this.

Since this is a PLANNED pregnancy they (Dave and Lily) can spend time looking up resources themselves. They shouldn’t be planting this on you - to provide advice for this...

Abbessolute − NTA. She's intentionally trying to get pregnant at 16? Such a bad idea. ...Not sure why her father is supporting this ridiculous idea.

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From stunned reactions to sharp advice, social media agrees: teen pregnancy is a serious risk, and this man’s refusal to endorse it is spot-on.

This story highlights a hard truth: teen parenthood is a rocky road, and not everyone should cheer it on. The man’s decision reflects his lived experience and a desire to shield a young girl from the struggles he faced.

Personal experience shapes perspective, but it doesn’t mean you have to support a dangerous choice. Education and family guidance, not encouragement, are key to helping teens make wise decisions. What Do You Think?Should he meet Lily to share his story, or keep his distance? If you were Dave, how would you guide your daughter in this situation?

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