AITA for wanting another child when years ago my children were taken away?

A woman dreams of starting a new family, but her past—neglecting her three young children until they were placed in foster care—has drawn fierce opposition from her mother and even her husband. The question looms: can she move forward after carrying such a heavy history?

At its core, this is a story about redemption, the struggle to rebuild family trust, and the enduring weight of past failures. Let’s dive into her journey, from difficult choices to the heated debates it has sparked online.

‘AITA for wanting another child when years ago my children were taken away?’

The story starts with a young woman’s struggle as a single mother, overwhelmed and making choices that changed her life forever.

Years ago, I had 3 kids with my ex, but he left when our third was born. At that time, I was a single mom, struggling with my mental health...

I made a lot of bad decisions. Neighbors complained, child services got involved, and eventually they determined I wasn’t providing a safe environment. My kids were placed in care, and...

Years later, a new relationship brings hope, but her desire for a baby stirs up trouble.

Three years later, I met a better man, and we’ve been together since. Now we’ve started talking about having a baby. Things blew up when my mom found out.

She came over one day, and my husband casually said he couldn’t wait to have kids running around the house. My mom immediately asked if I was pregnant.

What started as a casual chat turned into a fiery argument, leaving family ties strained.

I told her honestly that we were thinking about it. She got very upset, saying I was the last person who should even consider another child after what happened with...

Even her husband’s words cut deep, pushing her to question whether her dream is justified.

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My husband knows about my past. He comforted me but also admitted that my mom “had a point.” That really hurt. We later made up, but my mom still insists...

I feel like I’ve grown and changed a lot since then. But my mom doesn’t believe me. Right now, we’re still not talking. So… AITA for even wanting another child...

When past mistakes block future dreams, how do you prove you’ve truly changed?

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This woman’s story centers on her wish for a second chance at motherhood after failing her first three children. Her mother’s outrage stems from a real fear: that she hasn’t addressed the issues that led to her past neglect. As psychologist Dr. Gabor Maté explains, “Real change requires facing old wounds and building new skills” (In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts).

Her desire for a child suggests a longing to make things right, but her tendency to deflect some blame raises doubts about her readiness. On a broader level, this story highlights society’s struggle to balance forgiveness with accountability, especially when children’s well-being is at stake.

Advice: She should engage in therapy to confront past mental health struggles and prove her growth through concrete actions. Create a clear plan to ensure she can provide a safe, stable environment for a future child. Openly discuss her growth with her mom and husband to show she’s serious about change.

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Here’s what people had to say to OP:

The online community didn’t hold back, delivering sharp criticism and thoughtful advice on this emotional saga.

Many argued she hasn’t earned the right to try motherhood again, given her past.

[Reddit User] − YTA. You lost custody, which is very serious. There are even laws banning people from having pets after mistreating them — children deserve even more protection.

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sooleawa_sage − YTA. Your kids ended up in foster care. Please don’t think about having more unless you’ve truly done the work to change.

yellowsteakrocks − YTA. Child services don’t just remove kids for nothing. If you ended up struggling again, the same thing could happen all over.

Throwout4789 − YTA. You were 25, old enough to know better. Just having a new partner doesn’t erase the past.

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Commenters stressed the gravity of her actions and their lasting impact on her children.

CalgaryChris77 − YTA. Before having more kids, you should go to therapy and really examine whether you’re ready. Those decisions back then could have been fatal for your children.

sheramom4 − YTA. You were not a child when this happened. You were 25. All three of these children were born when you were an adult and living independently. Blaming...

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You severely neglected three infant/toddlers in order to party. There is no excuse for that. You didn't make "mistakes." You caused them life-long harm. Do you even know if they...

Some offered deeper insights, urging her to face her past before moving forward.

halcyonmeadow − YTA. It would be different if you had shown grief over losing them, but you admitted you felt relieved. Kids aren’t something you can just “start over” with.

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Freckled_daywalker − YTA. You still blame your mom instead of taking full responsibility. Unless you’ve truly addressed your past, her concerns are valid.

Others were blunt, insisting she shouldn’t have children at all.

ScienceNotKids − YTA. You lost 3 children because of negligence. You've proven you cant and shouldn't have children. You should have gotten your tubes tied. Do it now.

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GelatinousPumpkin − YTA, jesus christ. Your children are still out there and you want to make new one after giving up on them?

The community largely agreed that she must fully own her past before even considering another child, and her family’s doubts are well-founded.

This story reminds us that past mistakes can cast long shadows, especially when it comes to parenting. Change is possible, but it demands real, proven effort—not just words. Do you believe someone can truly change after such serious mistakes? If you were her mother, how would you react to her wanting another child?

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