AITA for refusing to take classes to help me take care of my autistic stepbrother?

Blended families can stir up tough choices, especially for teens. A 17-year-old shared on Reddit how he’s resisting pressure from his mom and stepdad to take classes on caring for his autistic stepbrother, Jake, 9. Years ago, he was dragged to these classes but didn’t take them seriously, resenting the changes Jake’s needs brought to their home.

Now, with their babysitter gone, the pressure’s back on. He’s offered to move out, but his mom insists he stays. Is he wrong to stand firm? Let’s unpack his story with expert insights and Reddit’s take.

‘AITA for refusing to take classes to help me take care of my autistic stepbrother?’

OP explained his resistance to the classes and family changes:

He felt pressured and resentful:

The issue resurfaced when their babysitter left:

His mom tried to reframe the request:

This teen’s story highlights the strain of blending families, especially when a child feels forced into caregiving roles. His refusal to take classes to care for his autistic stepbrother, Jake, stems from resentment over disrupted home life and a fear of being parentified. At 17, he’s entitled to prioritize his own needs, especially since he was coerced into the classes initially and feels his boundaries were ignored.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, notes, “Teens in blended families often resist new responsibilities, especially when they feel their lives have been upended without consent” (Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships, 2013). The stepdad’s ultimatum years ago—tying the move-in to the classes—set a controlling tone, and his accusation that OP is failing Jake ignores OP’s right to choose his role. The mom’s promise that babysitting is “off the table” feels shaky, given past broken assurances.

From the parents’ perspective, they may see the classes as a way to foster family unity and equip OP to connect with Jake. But pressuring a teen to take on specialized caregiving, especially after he’s offered to move out, risks alienating him further. Most agree that siblings, even step-siblings, aren’t obligated to become caregivers, particularly without mutual agreement.

OP should hold his ground but have a calm talk with his mom: “I want to support Jake, but I’m not comfortable with these classes or caregiving. Can we find other ways to connect as a family?” He should quietly prepare to move out at 18, gathering documents and exploring options with relatives. If tensions persist, family counseling could help set boundaries. For now, he should treat Jake and Ella kindly they’re not at fault while protecting his autonomy.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit overwhelmingly backed OP, calling out the parents’ pressure and warning about future babysitting expectations.

Many saw the parents’ tactics as manipulative:

Several emphasized OP’s right to opt out:

Some urged caution and kindness toward the younger siblings:

Others suggested practical steps for independence:

One shared a personal perspective on prioritizing their own child:

A few questioned the parents’ motives:

This teen’s stand against caregiving classes shows the strain of blending families when boundaries are ignored. His refusal to be parentified is valid, but his parents’ pressure risks pushing him away.

Reddit agrees: he’s not wrong to prioritize himself, but the parents’ promises seem unreliable. Should he hold firm or seek a compromise to keep the peace? What’s your take? Drop your thoughts below!