AITA For Refusing to Pay My Cat-Sitter?

An eleven-year-old calico cat named Daisy became the center of a heated family dispute when her sitter’s carelessness led to scratches and a night spent outdoors. A 29-year-old woman, Daisy’s owner, was furious to learn her beloved pet was left unsupervised, despite clear instructions to keep her leashed.

What makes it even more complicated, the woman’s refusal to pay the sitter triggered a debate with her brother-in-law, who believes the sitter deserves some compensation. Was she too harsh, or was standing her ground the right call to protect her furry friend? Let’s dive into this messy tale.

‘AITA For Refusing to Pay My Cat-Sitter?’

The drama kicked off when the woman needed someone to care for Daisy, her cherished cat.

I (29F) have an eleven year old calico named Daisy. A year ago, I moved a few hours further from home for work, which came with the issue of needing...

My fiance (34M) and I were lucky to find somebody pretty quickly through a pet sitting app, but she ended up being unavailable during the week of our trip.

This came up over dinner at my sister's house, and her daughter/my niece suggested her cousin (BIL's family) Ava (18F), saying she's been looking for some side jobs to make...

I contacted Ava and she accepted the job. I invited Ava over a couple days early so she could meet Daisy and get acquainted with the space. The most important...

I showed Ava the harness and leash I use to take Daisy on walks, explained the risks of letting her out unsupervised, and she seemed to understand.Fiance and I left...

The trip was wonderful, but a troubling surprise awaited at home.

We finally got back yesterday, after a genuinely lovely week, and met Ava as she was finishing up with her last drop-in.During our reunion, I found scratches on Daisy. I...

At first Ava's story was that she didn't know, and then she admitted it might have happened when they went on a walk. I went to find the harness to...

I asked Ava point blank if she let Daisy out by herself and she finally admitted yes, that Daisy wouldn't stop hounding her for food and treats and that she...

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She then FORGOT DAISY OUTSIDE ALL NIGHT. She said she realized when she dropped back in the next morning for a feeding and a walk and Daisy wasn't waiting just...

Ava’s negligence sparked a fiery argument about payment.

I was furious at the point and asked Ava to leave. She asked what about the money, and I told her she wouldn't be getting paid. She got upset and...

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She has texted me an apology since, but I've also received some texts from my BIL, who is mostly taking her side in the issue and saying I should absolutely...

I told him I'll be putting my money towards a vet visit, which I have an appointment for tomorrow..AITA if I stand my ground here?

The woman added some context to clear up misunderstandings.

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EDIT to clarify a few things: 1) Ava is not a family member of mine. She is my BIL's niece (technically step-niece, as his sister is Ava's step-mother). I do...

Family is not a factor here for me. I didn't know her at all and admit I should've been more cautious about hiring her. BIL said she was a very...

Won't be making that mistake again. To those suggesting I still pay Ava, but dock the vet bills from her pay, if I do that it will result in her...

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I have told her and BIL this and expressed more than once that the best I will do is compromise and consider us square- I don't pay her, she doesn't...

Entrusting a pet to someone else hinges on trust, but what happens when that trust is shattered by carelessness?

The woman’s predicament stems from relying on Ava, an inexperienced 18-year-old, to care for Daisy. Ava’s failure to follow the critical rule of not letting the cat out unleashed led to Daisy’s injuries. This wasn’t just a minor slip-up; leaving Daisy outside all night reflects serious negligence. The question of payment arises: should Ava be compensated despite her mistake?

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The brother-in-law’s stance, suggesting partial payment, acknowledges Ava’s effort over the week. Yet, Daisy’s injuries tip the scales toward accountability. Society often views pets as family, making any harm to them deeply personal. Animal behavior expert Dr. John Bradshaw notes, “Pets rely entirely on humans for their safety, and any failure to protect them can lead to serious consequences” (The Animals Among Us, 2017). Ava’s actions risked Daisy’s health, potentially exposing her to diseases like FIV.

Advice:

  1. Draft a clear contract: Outline rules and consequences for pet-sitting to avoid misunderstandings.
  2. Vet sitters thoroughly: Check references and experience, rather than relying on recommendations alone.
  3. Monitor remotely: Use pet cameras to keep an eye on your furry friend in real-time.

See what others had to share with OP:

The online community lit up with opinions, ranging from fiery support to measured takes.

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These commenters firmly believe Ava doesn’t deserve payment, as her negligence put Daisy in danger. Some even raised concerns about serious risks, like disease exposure.

NorthernLitUp − NTA. Tell her you'll pay her whatever is left of her fee AFTER the vet visit, provided your cat doesn't need anything due to her injuries. Daisy very...

That's the part that would terrify me. Quite frankly, she'd be lucky if you didn't sue her for the vet care if Daisy did contract a disease.

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Gemzanity − NTA at all. Shes lucky your cat didn't get lost or worse. I'm currently dog sitting to help my friend out. As I'm not usually around dogs he's...

You bet I'm following that list to the letter because he knows his dog better than I do. Although we're getting on quite well. She even took me for a...

Velharthis009 − This is tough but, I'm going to say NTA. If she wants to be paid so badly, tell her sure, but it will have the vet bill subtracted...

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Your cat had scratches and was left out OVERNIGHT? ! Yeah, once she realizes she'd most likely be out of pocket paying for all the bloodwork and labs kitty probably...

She could have put the cat in another room for the 60 seconds it took to fill her bowl, or locked herself in a room while she did so. What...

This group agrees Ava messed up but suggests paying her partially, minus vet costs, for her efforts.

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ScarletNotThatOne − Info: Is the vet visit due to harm incurred from the unleashed walk? If so, then NTA for not paying. Normally she would deserve to get paid for...

But if she intentionally disregarded your clear instructions and that caused damage, then it's fair for the cost of the damage to be deducted from the pay.

devsfan1830 − NTA ~~but honestly if the cat is ok, pay her with a docked day BIL suggested and NEVER hire her again. Edit to add: Depending on the degree...

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If Daisy is otherwise acting ok and nothing looks infected, she'll be fine. It would be a totally different story had she not come home at all. Count yourself lucky...

~~ Edit 2(last one): FIV was mentioned in another comment and I completely forgot about stuff like thta. Mine are indoor only with a healthy fear of the door opening...

These voices highlight the dangers Daisy faced, from predators to health risks.

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PumpkinSpiceTrauma − NTA. Small pets left outside overnight are often carried off and killed by coyotes. She put your cat in SERIOUS danger.

TheSecretIsMarmite − She forgot she'd dumped the cat outside and left her out all night and only realised the next morning? What the hell was she smoking? The Vet bill...

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Just_here2020 − NTA I’d say that you want to be fair. You will give her any remaining money after you paid for the vet visit and paid for any necessary...

In the interest of fairness, she needs to agree to be responsible for any vet bills that are more than the petting sitting fee which arise due to her negligence....

Some brought levity or shared their own pet-sitting horror stories, while still criticizing Ava.

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skiveman − NTA. Stand your ground. I've done some pet-sitting in my time for both cats and dogs and I can quite honestly say that if I fucked up as...

She THREW the cat outside, to fend for itself because the cat was fussing too much because it hadn't seen any human for hours. Some cats are very greedy and...

This girl was young and she acted her age by showing her inexperience. I can imagine this girls thoughts - cats are cute, cats are no trouble, this'll be easy...

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blondie6684 − We had an 18yo watch our dogs. She stayed at our place. She invited people over, who stayed the night (possibly in our bedroom). They did what I...

Including in our bedroom. Someone left a cigarette butt in a bathroom cup. That wasn’t even the worst of it.

They apparently took drinks out onto our deck, dropped a glass over the edge that broke, did not pick up the broken pieces, and our dog stepped on it and...

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These commenters believe Ava deserves nothing, with some suggesting she cover the vet bills.

Lady-Faye − NTA. The cat was injured in her care, because of her neglect and she shouldn't get paid. I'd feel a little differently if she had called you because...

rora_borealis − NTA. Take your cat to the vet to be checked out. Then forward a copy of the receipt and tell the girl that what would have been her...

Make sure she understands that if she continues to badmouth you or harass you, you will go to small claims court.

effinnxrighttt − NTA. And you shouldn’t pay her. She’s 18, she is now an adult and should have understood the responsibility she was taking on. You explicitly stated Daisy couldn’t...

Not only did she have Daisy outside without the leash, she left her outside over night. If you plan to pay her at all, I would suggest whatever the fee...

Due to her egregious error, you are taking the vet bill out of her pay and will give her any remaining funds on x day. As your for BIL, he...

TheGodMother007 − NTA- The one rule you gave her was not to let the cat out she lets the cat out, for an entire night & she gets hurt. If...

If anything, she is getting off easy that you're letting her walk away without payment. She should take this as a lesson learned not to mess with people's babies.

PumpkinSpiceTrauma − Everyone saying that she should be paid is insane. You actually think that money is more important than that cat’s life? The cat was hurt when she got...

The community largely sides with the woman, stressing that Daisy’s safety outweighs any payment. Some suggest partial payment, but most agree Ava needs to learn accountability.

The woman faced a tough call when her cat Daisy was injured due to Ava’s negligence. Her decision to withhold payment stemmed from anger and concern for her pet, while her brother-in-law argued Ava deserved some compensation. This story highlights the weight of responsibility in pet care and navigating family tensions. What do you think of her stance? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!

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