AITA for not letting my bio dad and his wife adopt me and refusing to comply with family therapy?

At 14, a teen was uprooted from the family he loved to live with a biological father who abandoned him as an infant. Now 17, he staunchly refuses adoption by his bio dad and stepmom, sitting silently through family therapy sessions meant to mend a bond he rejects. With his 18th birthday nearing, he counts down to reuniting with his uncle, his true pillar of support. But is his resolve justified, or is he shutting out a chance for connection?

This story explores the deep wounds of abandonment, the strength of chosen family, and a teen’s fight to define his own path. When loyalty and resentment collide, who’s right? Let’s dive into the details and see what Reddit’s community has to say.

‘AITA for not letting my bio dad and his wife adopt me and refusing to comply with family therapy?’

A Complicated Family History:

Losing Loved Ones and Facing Indifference:

Forced to Live with a Stranger:

Lingering Anger and Resistance:

Pressure from Therapy and Adoption Talks:

Clashes with Bio Dad’s New Family:

Failed Custody Battles and Family Tension:

Defiance Against Bio Dad and Therapy:

This teen’s story is a gut-wrenching look at the fallout of abandonment and the struggle for autonomy. The bio dad, absent for most of OP’s life, now insists on playing “father” by forcing custody and pushing adoption, disregarding the teen’s deep ties to his grandparents and uncle. This insensitivity, coupled with pressure from family therapy, has only deepened OP’s resentment. His refusal to engage or accept adoption is a natural response to feeling uprooted and unheard.

At 17, OP is old enough to know where his loyalties lie. His anger stems from being stripped of agency, a critical issue for teens. As adolescent psychologist Dr. Laurence Steinberg notes, “Teenagers need their voices respected, especially in matters of family and identity. Forcing integration into an unfamiliar environment can cause lasting psychological harm” (Age of Opportunity, 2014). The therapists’ push for adoption, ignoring OP’s disengagement, raises red flags about their neutrality and professionalism.

OP should stay resilient but strategic. He could request an independent therapist to express his feelings safely, away from his bio dad’s influence. Preparing for 18—securing documents like his ID and coordinating with his uncle—is wise. A calm but firm statement to his bio dad, like, “I need space to process my feelings; forcing me makes things worse,” might set boundaries. Given the bio dad’s history, maintaining distance post-18 may be healthiest for OP’s mental well-being.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit rallied behind OP, slamming the bio dad’s actions and cheering the teen’s resolve. Here’s what they said, grouped by perspective:

Supporting OP’s Stance:

Criticizing the Bio Dad and Family:

Questioning Motives:

OP’s story is a raw testament to the pain of abandonment and the fight to reclaim one’s identity. His refusal to embrace his bio dad’s family or therapy reflects a deep loyalty to those who raised him. Yet, the pressure from his bio dad, stepmom, and even therapists raises questions about fairness and respect. Is OP’s stubbornness justified, or should he consider opening up? What do you think of the bio dad’s motives? How would you navigate this at 17?