AITA for telling my (23F) bf (28M) to get his 7 year old under control and that he doesn’t run this household?

Picture this: you’re 23, living with your 28-year-old boyfriend, and every other week, his 7-year-old son barrels into your home like a tiny tornado, leaving a trail of chaos—pee-splashed toilets, toy-strewn floors, and a sink full of dishes. You’ve begged for rules, for supervision, for anything, but your boyfriend just shrugs, blames autism, and calls you a nag. Then, when you snap and tell him to get his kid under control—or you’re out—he storms off, dubbing you “emotionally abusive.” Oof.

It’s a domestic dumpster fire, and our redditor’s at her wit’s end. She’s not just cleaning up messes—she’s footing the grocery bill and dodging snarky texts from the kid’s mom for daring to step in. Is she the asshole for laying down the law, or is this a boyfriend problem with a side of kid chaos? Let’s dig in.

‘AITA for telling my (23F) bf (28M) to get his 7 year old under control and that he doesn’t run this household?’

Parenting a 7-year-old—autistic or not—doesn’t mean letting them trash the joint while you sip coffee and shrug. This boyfriend’s checked out, leaving her to play maid and villain. Her blow-up wasn’t dainty, but it’s a scream for respect in a house she’s bankrolling. Autism’s no free pass; structure helps kids thrive, not flounder.

Child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene says, “Kids do well if they can—lacking skills isn’t the same as lacking rules,” . Studies show autistic kids can follow routines with clear guidance—her preschoolers prove it (CDC). BF’s excuse is a cop-out, and his ex’s “don’t parent my kid” jab? Hypocritical when he’s shoving it all on her.

This is a power imbalance begging for a reset. She’s not wrong to demand he step up—her house, her rules. Advice? Set a firm boundary: he parents or she’s gone. Document everything—mess pics included—and prep for a solo exit if he won’t budge.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s got her back—mostly. Here’s the rundown:

They’re split but spicy—some crown her NTA for standing tall, others tag ESH for her sticking around a dud. From “leave him” to “he’s the real kid,” it’s a chorus of tough love. Do they hit the mark, or just stir the pot?

So, there she stands, mop in hand, staring down a boyfriend who’d rather blame than parent. She’s not the asshole for demanding control—her home’s a warzone, and she’s the only one fighting. Reddit’s half-cheering, half-prodding her to bolt, and it’s hard to disagree: this guy’s a mess, not the kid. Maybe her tone was sharp, but her point’s razor-sharp.

What’s your ruling? Would you stick it out or pack your bags? Hit us up—how would you tame this household havoc?