AITAH for not covering for my coworker with a sick kid, resulting in her being fired?

Work and family life often collide in unexpected ways, and sometimes that collision leaves lasting scars on our professional relationships. In this post, a 25-year-old hospice nurse shares a controversial incident at work that resulted in a coworker’s termination. Despite working in a flexible, salaried role that allows her to set her own hours, she was faced with a dilemma when a new coworker, Mandy, reached out for help covering an on-call shift.

While the job demands an on-call rotation, the OP has always prided herself on her reliability and has never missed a shift. Unlike many of her colleagues, she has no children and thus a more flexible schedule. When Mandy—who has four kids and struggles with childcare—emailed asking for someone to cover her shift because her babysitter fell ill, the OP offered to trade shifts in exchange for having Valentine’s Day off.

However, when Mandy declined the trade and tried to negotiate further, the OP refused outright. This decision, which ultimately led to Mandy’s firing, has stirred debate about whether the OP was being unfair or simply standing up for herself.

‘AITAH for not covering for my coworker with a sick kid, resulting in her being fired?’

Relationship and workplace experts emphasize that setting clear boundaries is essential for maintaining both personal and professional integrity. Dr. Emily Roberts, a psychologist who specializes in workplace dynamics, explains, “When someone repeatedly fails to fulfill their responsibilities, it’s important for colleagues to establish clear limits. Offering to trade shifts is a fair approach, but if the terms are non-negotiable, you’re well within your rights to stand firm.”

In this case, the OP’s offer to cover Mandy’s shift in exchange for a shift trade was a balanced compromise designed to help out without disrupting her own schedule. Dr. Roberts further notes, “The workplace is not only about getting the job done; it’s also about ensuring mutual respect. When a coworker leverages personal circumstances to demand flexibility, it can create an imbalance that ultimately harms the team.”

She stresses that the OP’s decision to refuse further negotiations reflects her commitment to both her own responsibilities and the integrity of the on-call system. “Hospice care is incredibly demanding, and each missed shift can impact patient care. If a coworker’s repeated failures cause disruptions, it’s necessary to enforce policies consistently,” she adds. Moreover, Dr. Roberts highlights that while compassion is an important quality, it should not come at the expense of fairness or professionalism.

“When a colleague repeatedly calls out for help due to personal challenges, there should be a system in place that supports them without compromising the team’s efficiency. If that support isn’t reciprocated, setting boundaries becomes crucial.” In this context, the OP’s stance is not an act of selfishness but rather a responsible effort to balance empathy with the practical needs of her job, ensuring that all team members contribute equally without undue burden on any single person.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the OP’s actions. Many commenters argued that Mandy’s repeated absences and her inability to secure reliable childcare were her own responsibility, not something the OP should have to fix. Numerous users pointed out that the OP’s offer to trade shifts was entirely reasonable and that her refusal to further negotiate was justified.

Several voices in the discussion emphasized that workplace policies are in place for a reason, and failing to meet them—regardless of personal circumstances—can have serious consequences. Overall, the consensus was that the OP acted appropriately to protect her own time and ensure the team’s integrity, and that Mandy’s firing was a result of her own shortcomings.

In conclusion, this story underscores the delicate balance between compassion and responsibility in the workplace. The OP’s decision to stand firm on her shift-trade offer reflects a commitment to fairness and the importance of setting clear boundaries—especially in a high-stakes environment like hospice care. What do you think?

Should colleagues be expected to continuously accommodate personal emergencies at the expense of team responsibilities, or is it fair to enforce strict policies to ensure everyone contributes equally? How would you handle a situation where personal challenges conflict with professional obligations? Share your thoughts and experiences below; your insights might help others navigate similar workplace dilemmas.