UPTADE AITA for calling my parents selfish for having me, knowing they’d pass down a hereditary illness, and going LC after they hid it, putting my child at risk too?
When family secrets cut deeper than any knife, the truth can shatter more than just trust—it can end generations of silence. In this story, a 26-year-old mother reveals how discovering her hereditary illness—and her parents’ decision to hide it—has forced her to confront painful truths. Not only has this secret jeopardized her own health, but it now threatens the well-being of her child.
With her family blaming her for “ruining everything,” she’s had enough. Feeling betrayed and overwhelmed by their selfish choices, she’s chosen to go low contact. Is she justified in calling her parents selfish for knowingly risking her future and that of her child, or is she overreacting to a secret that, while painful, was meant to protect them?
‘UPTADE AITA for calling my parents selfish for having me, knowing they’d pass down a hereditary illness, and going LC after they hid it, putting my child at risk too?’
When families conceal critical health information, the consequences can be profound. Renowned genetic counselor Dr. Robert Green advises, “Honest disclosure about hereditary risks empowers individuals to make informed decisions about their health and family planning.”
Concealing such information not only undermines trust but also denies family members the opportunity to seek early intervention or counseling. This breach of trust can be deeply destabilizing, leaving emotional scars that affect relationships for years to come.
The psychological toll of learning about a hereditary illness later in life is immense. Experts emphasize that open, compassionate dialogue is crucial in such scenarios. Dr. Green explains that timely genetic counseling can help families understand the implications of their genetic risks and prepare emotionally and practically for the future.
When secrets are kept, however, individuals are left to grapple with feelings of betrayal and isolation. This lack of transparency often leads to anger and resentment, as seen in this case, where the author calls their parents selfish for putting future generations at risk. Another layer of complexity arises when the decision impacts not just one person but an entire family. Genetic diseases can have a domino effect, influencing decisions about childbearing, lifestyle, and even career choices.
Counseling experts stress that while the burden of inherited risk is heavy, the proactive steps of testing, early diagnosis, and emotional support can mitigate long-term harm. This proactive approach not only empowers affected individuals but also fosters a sense of control over an otherwise uncertain future.
Furthermore, the decision to limit contact with family members who have hidden such critical information is sometimes a necessary step toward self-preservation. While it may seem drastic, distancing oneself can allow the healing process to begin without the constant reminder of betrayal. Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential when trust has been irrevocably broken, as it offers space for reflection and recovery. It is a painful yet often vital decision to protect one’s mental and physical well-being.
Ultimately, the combination of genetic risk and emotional betrayal forces individuals to rethink their family dynamics. As Dr. Green notes, “The ethical responsibility to share life-altering genetic information is paramount—it is not merely about protecting one’s own health, but about safeguarding the future of the entire family.” When that duty is neglected, the repercussions are not only medical but deeply personal, as trust, love, and legacy hang in the balance.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit users are deeply divided on this issue. Many empathize with her, arguing that when parents knowingly risk their children’s future by hiding critical health information, going low contact is a justified response. Others believe that while her pain is understandable, complete estrangement might close the door to eventual reconciliation and healing. The prevailing sentiment, however, leans toward the need for personal boundaries when family actions have far-reaching consequences.
This story forces us to confront a harrowing question: When is it acceptable to sever ties with the family that gave you life because of the burdens they choose to hide? Is it justified to call your parents selfish for endangering your future—and that of your child—even if their intentions were to “protect” you? Or is there room for forgiveness and healing despite the betrayal? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others facing similarly painful family dilemmas.
