AITA for accusing mom of being selfish when she forces my twin sister’s dad to include me?

Family secrets and dysfunctional relationships often create stories filled with raw emotion and difficult choices. In this post, a 16-year-old recounts how she confronted her mother for forcing her twin sister’s dad—a man who isn’t her biological father—to include her in his family events.

Born from a complicated family structure where her mother slept with two different men, the twin siblings have experienced very different parental dynamics. While her twin sister has grown up with a father who actively participated in her life, she has always felt like an unwanted burden.

Over the years, her mother’s insistence that her sister’s dad include her in major family occasions has only deepened her feelings of exclusion and rejection, leading her to accuse her mom of being selfish for trying to force a relationship that she never desired. Growing up with these imposed family dynamics has left her feeling isolated and misunderstood, as she struggles with the reality of being forced into a role she never chose.

Her heartfelt accusation—telling her mom, “Stop forcing them to include me, because nobody really wants me there”—has sparked controversy within the family, leaving her wondering if she’s in the wrong for speaking her truth.

‘AITA for accusing mom of being selfish when she forces my twin sister’s dad to include me?’

Family therapists consistently emphasize the critical importance of allowing relationships to develop organically rather than forcing connections, especially in blended family situations. Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains, “When a parent imposes a relationship between a child and a non-biological parent or guardian, it can lead to deep-seated feelings of rejection and confusion.

These forced bonds rarely result in genuine closeness.” In this case, the OP’s frustration stems from being repeatedly forced into interactions with her twin sister’s dad—a figure she never chose nor feels connected to. Dr. Markham further adds, “Children need the freedom to build relationships naturally.

When those connections are mandated by a parent’s desire for unity, it often backfires, leaving the child feeling isolated and like an unwanted burden.” She emphasizes that when familial roles are dictated by the adult’s needs rather than the child’s, it can create long-term emotional scars. This is particularly true in situations where one parent tries to orchestrate family interactions without considering the child’s own feelings or willingness

. Moreover, experts recommend that parents re-evaluate their approach by prioritizing the child’s emotional well-being over their own ideals of family unity. “It is vital for parents to understand that while their intentions may be to create harmony, the imposition of unwanted relationships only hinders genuine connection,” Dr. Markham notes.

In such cases, professional mediation or family therapy can be instrumental in facilitating honest dialogue. This process not only helps clarify each person’s expectations but also lays the groundwork for more voluntary, respectful relationships that honor individual boundaries. Ultimately, the OP’s call for accountability reflects a deep need for authenticity and healing within a troubled family dynamic.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit community was largely sympathetic toward the OP’s perspective. Many commenters argued that forcing a relationship with someone who clearly does not want you around is unfair and only deepens feelings of exclusion. Several users expressed frustration with the mother’s insistence on mandating interactions, noting that genuine relationships cannot be forced and must develop naturally.

There was a strong sentiment that the OP’s feelings of being an unwanted burden are completely valid, and that her mother’s actions have only contributed to years of emotional pain. Overall, the community agreed that the issue lies squarely with the mother’s approach and that the OP is justified in calling out this imposition, emphasizing the need for personal boundaries and respect in family dynamics.

In conclusion, this story sheds light on the complexities of blended family dynamics and the emotional toll of forced relationships. While some might argue that the poster’s blunt accusation is harsh, it clearly stems from years of feeling unwanted and imposed upon.

Should parents insist on forcing connections with non-biological family members, or is it better to allow relationships to form naturally? How would you handle a situation where you felt constantly excluded despite being forced into a role? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your insights might help others navigate similar family challenges.