AITAH for “getting his hopes up” and then telling him i had an abortion and serving divorce papers?

Picture this: You’re juggling kids, a crumbling marriage, and a surgery countdown that’s been dangling like a carrot since January. Then, bam—your period’s late, the test’s positive, and your soon-to-be ex-husband flips the script. He’s screaming about cheating, demanding paternity tests in front of your kids, and you’re done. Our heroine hit her breaking point, chose herself, and now he’s blowing up her phone. Is she the jerk for cutting the cord?

This saga’s a rollercoaster of betrayal and badassery. Her body’s been through hell—birth control’s out, last delivery nearly killed her, and he flat-out refused a vasectomy or condoms. Two months ago, one rare night together sparked a pregnancy scare that unleashed his rage. She walked out, got an abortion, and served divorce papers. He’s sorry now—too late. Let’s dive into this mess.

‘AITAH for “getting his hopes up” and then telling him i had an Abortion and serving divorce papers?’

Divorce is messy, but this guy’s a walking red flag factory. Refusing birth control options while risking her life? That’s not love—that’s control. His paternity meltdown, hurled at their kids, screams emotional abuse. She chose abortion to survive, and he’s guilting her for it. Classic manipulator move.

Dr. Lundy Bancroft, an abuse expert, writes, “Abusers thrive on denying responsibility while blaming others” (source: Why Does He Do That?, 2002). Stats show 1 in 4 women face partner coercion over reproduction (Guttmacher Institute, 2021). Her ex’s flip-flop—rage to remorse—fits the pattern. Post-divorce texts? Harassment 101. She’s smart to email-only him.

Advice: Lawyer up, document everything, and lean on a support network for that surgery. She’s NTA—saving herself and her kids took guts. Readers, how do you spot the line between insecurity and abuse?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Reddit came in hot—here’s the scoop, with a smirk: “Grab your pitchforks, folks, these takes are roasting him alive!”

From “he’s trash” to “get a lawyer yesterday,” the crowd’s Team OP. Some smell his infidelity; all agree he’s unhinged. Do these comments nail it, or are they just fanning the flames?

This tale’s a gut-wrenching triumph: a mom broke free from a selfish tyrant, protecting her kids and her sanity. She’s no jerk—he is, for weaponizing doubt and guilt. Surgery looms, and he’s still whining about his parents’ feelings? Please. It’s a story of survival begging for your take. What would you do when a partner’s jealousy turns toxic? Spill it below—let’s talk!